13 Comments on “Away From the Keyboard, 7/12/10”

1. In your absence, I am staging a grand tragedy on my kitchen table, using various bits of breakfast cereal as the primary actors.

   The part of the noble but vainglorious Don Riboflavin is being played by a Quaker Oatmeal Square, while his secret rival, Il Vitamando, is played by an Apple Jack. Both are in love with the pure, good-hearted Chocula (played by a Honey-Nut Cheerio).

   DF: Ha ha ha ha ha! With my new doublet, she will never be able to resist my charms now!

   IV: Indeed, my friend, she will always be after them. (aside) And I swear to the heavens, I will eat your steaming pink heart from my own two hands.

   It’s a work in progress.

2. I’ll be using yesterday’s cat + book picture to soothe the pain.

3. HOW WILL YOU SURVIVE?!? I don’t know. I just don’t know. Try to, though. I don’t want the cessation of your existence on my conscience. See you later.

   See, if Lebron had just put it that way, he’d have come out looking a lot better.

   (not really).

4. Maybe if you gave us some sort of follow-up painting of the Unicorn Pegasus Kitten, we could find something to keep us from our self-mutilation problems.

   …or is that just me?

5. [kicks] Thus I refute Scalzi!

6. We’ll still be alive, but our sanity may have passed out of the sight of man.. We’ll ask out shrinks to send the bills to you, if that’s alright.

7. It’s okay. I have Cheetohs and reruns of Beavis and Butthead. I’m good for a day or so.

8. I don’t want the cessation of your existence on my conscience.

   Aww, I didn’t know you cared. And it’s extra special because I don’t even owe you any money.

   Just for that, I’m going to go buy another of your books.

9. Dave H — You fell right into his trap!

   Dr. Phil

10. At first I was afraid I was petrified

11. This is happening a lot lately. Please tell me that you’re writing the authoritative, comprehensive history of the Consu?

12. I don’t have time to pay attention to your absence right now. I can pencil in “fretting because John Scalzi hasn’t posted lately” for the second week of October; will that do?

13. I had surgery on a delicate, private, and posterior portion of my anatomy that day. Spent much of my time in the local hospital. Didn’t even *think* about your blog, although I was very glad I’d had no bacon over the weekend.