In your absence, I am staging a grand tragedy on my kitchen table, using various bits of breakfast cereal as the primary actors. The part of the noble but vainglorious Don Riboflavin is being played by a Quaker Oatmeal Square, while his secret rival, Il Vitamando, is played by an Apple Jack. Both are in love with the pure, good-hearted Chocula (played by a Honey-Nut Cheerio). DF: Ha ha ha ha ha! With my new doublet, she will never be able to resist my charms now! IV: Indeed, my friend, she will always be after them. (aside) And I swear to the heavens, I will eat your steaming pink heart from my own two hands. It’s a work in progress.