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And Now, a Completely Context-Free Quote From My Wife

“I was just checking to see how my hand fit around your neck. It’s not like I was squeezing.”

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

52 replies on “And Now, a Completely Context-Free Quote From My Wife”

You don’t need to worry until you hear something like…

1. John, try this and tell me if you taste anything funny.

2. John, did you remember to mail you life insurance premium this month.

3. Go in the garage and turn the car off, I left it running for the last hour.

You know what I think? I think she squeezed, then came here and posted as Scalzi, just so she could make it look like he was still alive. Yes, I believe a squoozing has occurred. You shall be missed, Mr. Scalzi.

Man, our wives have the best pillow talk. I was asked to curl up as tight as possible in a Volvo’s trunk for “comparison.”

I was also informed I would be dead in 72 hours if I didn’t call her the day after our first date.

What?

You’re damn right I negotiate with terrorists!

You know, it’s almost too bad that we don’t have a photo to go with this. It doesn’t have to be the actual context of the quote, of course, just something appropriate.

Doug@37: “Oh, and like you, as all us husbands, haven’t occasionally wished for an operable phaser set to ‘Pulverize’?”

Speak for yourself! I was waiting for the Air Force to finish development of weapons-grade aphrodisiacs:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg18524823.800-pentagon-reveals-rejected-chemical-weapons.html

“Distasteful but completely non-lethal.” Yeah, that describes a few marital relationships I’ve seen.

I read somewhere that the first policemen in England wore leather and steel collars around their necks to prevent them from being garrroted on the streets while on patrol.

You may want to look into this.

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