Don’t Stop Believing for About Forty Minutes

Are you tired of all those super peppy pop stars and their toe-tapping Top 40 hits? Or are you that obsessed with the likes of J. Biebz that you wish the fever could last forever? Well, with song stretching, you too can enjoy popular songs the way they were meant to be heard!

Taking the phenomenon to a whole new retro level, Scalzi Enterprises™, gives you “Slow Stop” an ambient Journey through time and space.  You definitely won’t stop believing the awesome.

Note: There is some confusion as to whether listening to this track while high on speed will make it sound like the original track or more fatally, make your head explode. We suggest you don’t try it. Scalzi Enterprises™ will not be held responsible for bloody messes. The company also is protected from lawsuits due to injury caused from bad punning.

20 Comments on “Don’t Stop Believing for About Forty Minutes”

  1. I kind of want to say something snarky about trying to jump a shark that’s been slowed down 800%, but, honestly, this phenomenon has provided the soundtrack for my workplace for the last two days, very, very enjoyably.

  2. Need a download link, please. We just finished Glee season 1, and my wife and kids have been singing this song constantly for three weeks. I can’t wait toplay it on the next road trip and see what they think.

  3. 1. Yes, it reminded me of further-slowed Vanilla Fudge.
    2. That guy can really sing.
    3. When CDs get a hiccup in playback, eventually they sound just like this.

    Those old Journey records sound better now than ever.

  4. CRAP!! now i’m going to have that song stuck in my head!! Thanks a bunch Kate!!! hehe it’s ok could be worse…

  5. That’s what it must be like if you fall asleep during “Chariots of Fire”.

    Won’t someone ever fucking get there?

  6. I took the slowed-down version and sped it up to the original speed, and it sounded like Journey is performing inside the back of a cab that is inside a tin can surrounded loosely by cellophane wrap. It reminded me of using an online translator going from English to <insert your favorite foreign language here> back to English again. Something definitely got lost in the translation.

  7. Here in his native habitat we see the majestic whale, as he plows through reefs and shoals of plankton and krill on his way to the spawning grounds in the chill and frozen north.

  8. FWIW, a friend of mine did a similar speed-back-up to the slowed-down Bieber track, and found that there was some other stuff going on as well (namely, it was actually slowed down a bit more than 8x, dropped down in pitch a bit, and had a fair bit of reverb added). More here:

  9. I listened for about 30 seconds. I’ve never had such a visceral reaction to a sound before. I had to turn it off before I puked. I think I almost had a seizure. It was bad, it was wrong, and no one should ever do that to music, even if it is Journey (and Who’s Crying Now is on my IPhone). It’s like someone going and rewriting Old Man’s War in passive voice. Why? Why? Why would you do that?

  10. The first time I ever heard this sort of thing was a few years back, when some lunatic/genius/lunatic stretched Beethoven’s Ninth to 24 hours (see: 9 beat stretch).

    I have it on my iPod.

  11. Wow–that’s the first time I’ve ever enjoyed Journey. Now, if only someone can create a video of Steve Perry being savagely beaten for forty minutes.

    Any way to D/L this track?

%d bloggers like this: