They Blew Up My Little Pony, Mommy!
You know you are losing the imaginary war when a toy pony brings law enforcement to their knees.
The bomb squad sent a robot to investigate the toy pony.
Robot: Dude, are you a bomb?
Pony: No, my forgetful human left me here when the bell rang. She even left the brush she uses to comb my glittery tail. See, glitter. I look fabulous! She’s coming back, right?
Robot: Sucks to be you, man.
Pony: Why is that?
Robot: My “all clear” sensor was sent in for repair yesterday.
Some little girl is weeping now in Orlando. Can’t you hear her pitiful cries?