The World’s Largest and Most Ironic Green Thumb

The last several weeks at the Scalzi Compound have been dry ones, which means that our vasty yard has turned a shade I call “California Brown” — except for this one peninsula of green, which you can see here. And what is causing the emerald fjord to jut into the vast brown expanse of our lawn? Well, we have new landscaping near our house which requires watering, so Krissy got some of those fancy drip hoses, which water your plants without wasting a whole lot of water — unless, that is, you forget to turn them off after an hour, at which point the excess pools out and goes into the lawn, and follows gravity to the lowest point. As you can see, we forget about the drip hoses on a regular basis, and by “we” I mean me, since I’m the one who stays at home. Yes, I suck. But it does make for interesting yard geography.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

24 replies on “The World’s Largest and Most Ironic Green Thumb”

Thank you so much for not wasting countless gallons of water to water your massive lawn. The intense need to have emerald green lawns despite the weather/nature’s plan for it drives me CRAZY.

It’s grass. It’ll be fine again once it rains.

Looks familiar. I live in Cincinnati so I’m getting roughky the same amount of rain as you. Only thing green in my yard is crab grass.


I’m just a few mile south, as are my parents. They’re trying to start some new trees and had a sewer meter installed separately from the water, so they didn’t get charged for watering new sod and trees.

In California, we don’t even have that much land on our block much less our front yard.

I forget to turn off the drip system all the time in the vegetable bed. And it’s half empty right now. So I’m watering dirt.

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