Lopsided Cat Wishes You to Know He Finds the New Chair Marginally Acceptable

I mean, no, it’s not a bed made from the entrails of all the rodents he’s disemboweled over the years, but then, what is? Well, except for the rodent entrail bed I made for him last Christmas. But that didn’t last; items like that never do. Until I make him another, this new chair will do just fine.

23 Comments on “Lopsided Cat Wishes You to Know He Finds the New Chair Marginally Acceptable”

  1. Lopsided cat has the ability to shed on any surface, but upchucking a hairball on white chair is the ultimate fun.

  2. That fabric is Scotchguarded, right? Because if it’s not the blood of people who try to move him from that spot is going to stain it.

  3. That reminds me: really looking forward to Zeus’s next big art installation, “New Office Chair Upholstery — Clawtastrophe in White.”

  4. Everyone knows the secret ingredient to a successful rodent entrail bed is love, Romeo. And you can’t get that on eBay. Well, you can, but then you have to get it in bulk, and where do you put the rest of it?

  5. They sell love on Ebay?!? I thought only Craig’s List had that.

    John Hope you have a really strong vacuum, one of those sticky roller things and a lint brush or that chair will become a very nice shade of fur. Our “cat chair” has not been it’s original color in years.

  6. I keep wanting to ask this, and you’ve probably answered it twelve times already, but I’m not seeing an FAQ…

    Why is he called Lopsided Cat?

  7. Oops, guess I should do a Control Refresh before I make a post that John might have already answered.

  8. O Great Scalzi, how great it is to see a picture of Mighty Lopsided Cat having a no doubt well deserved rest after performing Important Labors On Her Behalf.

    Notice that we never see similar pictures of you. This is because you perform just about Everything She Demands poorly. Hence no rest of yours is well deserved and certainly not worthy of being recorded for posterity.

    Or it could be you have taken to heart the Executive Committee’s prior comments that pictures of you are never acceptable.

    We put more weight on the former explanation, but either one works.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club

  9. Looks like LC has acquired exclusive feline rights to that chair, in perpetuity. Unless, of course, Ghlaghghee asserts similar rights, in which case the case could be tied up in the courts for years.

  10. I apologize for momentarily being a “Google? What is this thing, ‘the google’?” idiot. I plead temporary insanity. Thanks for giving the link and not the Mallet.

  11. Hey, Scalzi,

    Good pic of Lopsided Cat.

    Did the Lopsided Cat really say “marginally acceptable” when “OK” would do? He seems a cat of few words.

    Later, man.

    The Lopsided Cat Fan Club

  12. That is because the chair is light and he is dark. Get a dark chair and he will be incredibly miffed — or figure out a way to drop only his orange hairs.