How I’m Making Fans of Fantasy Insanely Jealous Today
Posted on December 4, 2010 Posted by John Scalzi 72 Comments
Yes, that’s right, I have an ARC of Pat Rothfuss’ upcoming novel The Wise Man’s Fear. Don’t ask what I had to do to get it. Just know that if the police ask where I was that night, I was with you. Baking pies. Remember the pie part, it’s what makes the alibi.
I won’t speak any more about the novel at this point (I have to read it first, which I can now do, bwa ha ha ha hah ha), but I will say this: Damn, it’s a thick book. We’re talking “stun a hippo” thick. Always scribble, scribble, scribble, eh, Mr. Rothfuss?
Fortunately for the rest of you, you won’t have to wait too long for this — it comes out in March. But in the meantime: Look! It’s real. Better re-read The Name of the Wind to prepare.
Schadenfreade pie. Got it.
The jealousy it burns!!
Gah! I do actually know how schadenfreude is spelled. But my fingers still tried to type it wrong again.
To paraphrase a bad movie: “No, no, it’s all right, he’s just taunting me with the most desirable fantasy book to come out in years. Man, that’s just MEAN. That’s MEAN, man.”
Dang you sir and the apple pie we made that night too!
I hate you so much right now. Nothing personal. WANT.
I’m on the line with the Ohio State Police. You should have given me an ARC.
Clever ruse, Mr. Scalzi. But I know quite well that what we see here is just a copy of A Dance with Dragons with a fake cover on it.
Oh, you cruel man! Is this how you express holiday spirit?!
I will give you everything that I own in exchange for that ARC Mr. Scalzi. EVERYTHING THAT I OWN!
Got ours weeks ago… (yawn).
Son of a —
Let me know if you lost my address to send me my Christmas present, John. ;)
It’s going to be terrible if you spend all that time reading it and it’s not nearly as good as the first one.
You’re a busy man, with an adorable family, and I’ve got nothing going on right now. How about you just FedEx me the book and I’ll let you know if it’s worth your valuable time.
So…I have gathered around me the best criminal minds in fiction.
And we intend to burglarize your office in order to obtain the ARC.
Defensive measures will not help you John Scalzi. We are determined. We are prepared. We are getting the ARC.
I will confound you by not keeping it in my office. Ha!
I begin to think that ARCs are all about the gloat. First you enable the gloat by giving Kathryne the Fuzzy Nation ARC and now this.
I am really looking forward to that book. Should be a great read if the first is anything to go by.
Stun Hippo is totally my new band name. YOINK!
My hate for you is indeed palpable at this moment. Also, my envy is deep seated. WANT NAO PLZ.
Yes, I can feel your anger . . . anger leads to hate . . . hate leads to suffering . . .suffering leads to cupcakes . . .
Ha, well, I went to Amazon and PRE-ORDERED “Wise Man’s Fear”!
*sighs* *looks at calendar* *sighs*
No one likes a gloater. Humph, Mr. Scalzi, HUMPH!
I wasn’t expecting to actually be jealous but now I am. My day is ruined.
While not a big fan of fantasy myself and therefore not even sure why I should be jealous, I’m more curious as to how you managed to wrangle your wife into your mischief.
I had somehow gathered the impression she, of all people in your house, would be above such shenanigans.
Well, she’s currently reading The Name of the Wind, so she’s pleased she’ll be able to read the follow-up quickly.
Ah. What a boringly matter-of-fact but perfectly reasonable explanation. I was hoping for something with more….. extortion? I dunno.
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
Lucky dog. I wish I could stun a hippo with this book.
I would totally do it, too.
I was also not expecting to be jealous.
Of course, this is because I have failed miserably to follow Mr Rothfuss’ blog the past two months and blithely missed the fact that he actually sent it in to his editor.
So currently, I am also very pleased to know it is actually coming out next March.
Oh, so very jealous.
Like, say, around 5 jealouses. Okay, make that 10.
I really do need to re-read it actually. I need to see if I still have my copy or if my brother made off with it.
Noooooooo! So not fair!
Please don’t spoil anything for those of us who have to wait until March. :)
Chris @ 12 – that works better in French – “I told zem we already got one.”
March 1, 2011. That’s not that far off, right? I can wait until then. I don’t NEED to join Sara’s gang of crack book thieves. There’s a great deal to be read between now and March. Not jealous. Not at all. It’s probably sour anyway.
God damnit. I did what I always do with sequels of anything I really want to read/see–I PUT IT OUT OF MY MIND. AND I’M GOOD AT IT.
NOW I AM THINKING ABOUT “THE WISE MAN’S FEAR”! Damn you, Scalzi! Damn you!
That book is so awesome that it drains the colour from its surroundings!
I bought a copy of TNOTW for my brother as a Christmas gift. After December 25th, he will join the hordes clamouring for the sequel.
I heard what you had to do to get the ARC. As I recall, it involved fishnet stockings, electrical tape, 20 gallons of hot fudge sauce, and a book of limericks by Isaac Asimov.
one of the penny arcade guys, the nerdy one, is really into this series. Don’t you cats know each other? Maybe you can score a cameo in a PA comic if you let him touch it.
This is the first fantasy I’ve read in a long time and I really dug it.
Well at least, I can look forward to reading something worth while in the near future. Thanks for the light at the end of the tunnel, John.
The Name of The Wind was one of my favorite books of all time. In fact, it was one of the first fantasy books I ever read.
I guess I have time to re-read it, since Scalzi won’t share the sequel… sigh… :)
Too bad you can’t have a contest to give away a dog-eared already read ARC. If you could, do to its size, instead of an essay, the contest entries could be Novella length at least. I guess I will buy it in March. On Pi day.
You should have a contest to give this away to one of us (as soon as you and Krissy are done reading it, of course).
The first thing that crossed my mind was “Dude! That is so totally awesome!” Then I realized I’d been watching too many movies with Keanu in them. So I was going to say I was a ball of flaming envy…but it just didn’t sound right.
So I’m a sheeple. I agree with #2.
Why are you shorting out my keyboard with drool? And is the wise man’s fear… that this whole release is just an elaborately sadistic hoax?
I haven’t read NAME OF THE WIND, so I can wait on the second book.
The book I’m faunching for is… no, not THAT book… the next Locke Lamora book from Scott Lynch. Which, if one can trust the release date on the Amazon listing, has been pushed back to… *sigh*… 2013.
I am insanely jealous of you right now!! The Name of the Wind is on my Top 5 list and have been waiting for this book for a long time! I hope after you read it you will and least give us a thumbs up or thumbs way up rating (because we know it has to be good).
OK, everyone, let’s get our story straight. He was showing us how to make schadenfreude pie. Got it?
I am indescribably jealous!!! The Name of the Wind is one of my favorite fantasy books of all time – I can’t wait until March!
So when The Wise Man’s Fear hits bookstores, will we see a blurb on the cover from Mr. Scalzi? Something along the lines of:
“This book is so good, I don’t regret breaking the law just to get the chance to read it.”
For once in my life, being a lawyer is going to pay off, damn it, because I’m suing you to get that book in my grubby hands. There must be SOME cause of action that’ll work here. Replevin? Adverse possession? Something.
Yahoo for Mr. Rothfuss! The Name of the Wind was keen, and it’s nice to finally hear that the next book is on its way!
As to what you had to do to get that ARC: give up all color in your home until you finished reading it?
Jeff Zugale: Stun Hippo is totally my new band name. YOINK!
Well, for some reason, for me, Stun Hippo sounds like a Russian James Bond villain.
“This, Mr. Bond, is Vasili. But we call him ‘Stun Hippo Vasili’. Grigori, open the animal cage. We will show Mr. Bond why wise men fear Stun Hippo Vasili so much there is a book about it!”
You authors are all the same. Last time I saw Pat he was lording his Jim Butcher ARC over a crowd of fans. Maybe I should become a best selling author… *laughs*
Spoilers! The name of the wind is “Bob” and the wise man’s fear is “tigers”.
Now that I’ve ruined these books for you and your wife, I’m pretty sure you have no need of your ARC. You can just send it off to me and I’ll find some sort of environmentally friendly way of disposing of it.
Damn. Y’know… I don’t even have a copy of that yet. Who the hell are you in bed with that you get one before me?
Now, after see that horrible photo, I’m discovering that jealousy can drive someone insane !!
However, thanks for showing us that this holy book really exists ^^
You’re cruel, Scalzi. Just cruel. I’ll just go toddle off and listen to Name of the Wind again while I huddle in a corner and WAIT for March.
I don’t have to be jealous because I have one of my own.
So if you get a hippopotamus for xmas (and only a hippopotamus will do) and you have that ARC, is it *mandatory* that you stun said hippo with the aforementioned ARC? Just wondering about the legal implications.
(party pooper) I must confess it amazes me that people were so blown away by The Name of the Wind. I mean, it was pretty good, but that’s about it. Had more than its fair share of first-novel flaws, but it showed definite promise for its author. He can’t touch Scott Lynch or Joe Abercrombie though. (/party pooper)
Everybody remember–it’s not the *final* version of the book–it’s an uncorrected bound manuscript, so the final book will be EVEN better! (Hopefully this will help…)
Except for “party pooper” who can crawl back in his hole!
Jealousy? No, outright hatred.
Hate me too, y’all. My copy just arrived. Over 1100 pages of Rothfuss goodness.
The Worldbuilders fund-raiser time limit has been extended, you can donate to the Worldbuilders page on Heifer.com until Dec. 17th, noon (Pacific Time). :-)
Also: Mr. Scalzi, you are a bad, bad man! :-D
I would give my first born child for five minutes alone with that book…
Wow, that came out creepier than I intended, and I was expecting a certain amount of creepiness.
My god this jealousy is eating me away xD !
Lucky you! but soon we will enjoy it as well
I’m like SO hating you right now.
227 people are sure enough a lot happier than I am now and there’s little I can do about it.
The person sitting next to me just asked “you want to kill this guy, don’t you now?”. My answer?
“Nah, not kill. Mutilate and seriously injure.”
Guess what, I’m not jealous because I have a black-and-white wife of my own
Darn you for introducing me to such a great book so I have to wait for the next to come out.
Best comment ever:
“Clever ruse, Mr. Scalzi. But I know quite well that what we see here is just a copy of A Dance with Dragons with a fake cover on it.” Jeff G