My Bacony Life
Posted on December 7, 2010 Posted by John Scalzi 46 Comments
Some of you may recall I recently signed a contract which called for a portion of my compensation to be in bacon. Here is the first installment of that compensation. And it looks delicious, if I may say so.
Hey, did you know my life is kinda weird. I know! Who would have guessed.
I hope you’re not going to waste that decorating a cat (or dog). It looks delicious!
That’s much better than getting paid in gum.
I want. Oh, so bad do I want.
OH Man! How pretty! Small portions and lots of greens for a side. Gotta watch that weight that you just blogged about recently. Plus, wanna keep you healthy. You’re one of my hubbies favorite authors and I need you around for my kids to have a favorite author too.
I get various junk-mail catalogs every month. A couple have products like bacon band-aids, bacon coffee mugs, bacon towels, etc. (I dunno why. these are the natural progression from the fake-vomit and spring-loaded snakes in a can catalogs of my youth). Any time I see those products, I think of Scalzi and his bacon-cat.
Must feel good to finally be bringin’ home the bacon (…from the mailbox).
I looked on your bacon page, but didn’t find a canonical answer as to how you prefer your bacon. Do tell! Also… do the wife and daughter get to partake, or do you force them to fend for themselves baconwise? Or perhaps you conscript one of them to do your bacon-cooking for you, rewarded by the ability to consume some of the bacon that you have brought?
i thought you were trying to lose weight? you should just send that my way and i’ll take care of it for you.
I see what you did there.
How much do you charge for a product placement in one of your photos – a glazed ham?
On the topic of SF authors and bacon cooking techniques, one well known SF author wrote that the key to cooking perfect bacon was to do it in the nude. That way you keep the heat down to avoid spatters.
No pictures were provided.
Does your wife think you’re …a little soft in the head, or does she also appreciate the bacon-y goodness of bacon?
Zingerman’s Bacon Club! Well, you can definitely expect some pretty darn good bacon from them.
As a Wisconsonite who eats Nueske’s whenever my budget can afford it, I approve this message. It’s spectacular.
As a Wisconsinite who can’t spell Wisconsin, I am less approving.
Ohhhhhhh, Zingerman’s. I am SO jealous.
And I’ll bet that some people thought you were joking when you wrote that first entry.
Wow. I can’t wait to see all the variations on bacon that will be sent to you over the years. You should start rating them.
Is that a bacon soda in the corner?
I have to ask- whose idea was this? =) And can you tell us who the contract was with? This is hilarious.
I originally read that last line as, “Hey, did you know my wife is kinda weird”, and I thought, “Well, she’d have to be, wouldn’t she?”
Not that that’s a bad thing. My wife is pretty weird; it’s both why I married her and how she was able to stand to marry me.
It is ironic that, while I am Jewish, it is bacon that makes me most certain of the existence of God.
Brings new meaning to the term: Fat wallet.
I know that bacon. It’s yummy. What a good start to six months of bacony goodness.
Hey there Mr. Scalzi, ever tried Kolozsvari bacon? I think it’s the best ever. I put in my Dublin Coddle when I make that on cold winter days. http://filspolishdeli.com/products/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=64
Ah, the applewood smoked Nueske’s. Good stuff. We made the mistake of stopping into the factory store and finding out the have something BETTER – cherrywood smoked with no nitrites. Not available via web/mailorder unless you’re a Chef with Connections. I so need to make another drive over to Wittenburg……..
UH OH! The Peta nazi’s are going to raise hell!
#15 by Johnny Carruthers:
I’ll bet that very few people who’ve hung around here for any appreciable length of time thought he was joking.
I’m not sure it even occurred to me that he might have been joking. It had a certain well-yes-of-course factor to it, considering.
I’m sensing a little backslide on your 20 pounds of weight loss.
I don’t intend to eat it all at one sitting.
So, I’m going to take a guess and say the contract was with Pyr, that rather prominent 5th anniversary cup being my clue. I could also see Lou Anders humoring you with that clause.
In fact I have no contract with Pyr, although I admire their books. They just sent me a nice cup which arrived the same time as my bacon.
I got a nice pin from them recently. They’re nice people over there. Like I said it was a guess, based partly on the picture above and also on a comment you made in one of your posts a year or two ago where I believe you directly addressed Lou, letting him know you were still thinking about something you two presumably had talked about (or something to that effect). It would have been nice to see a favorite author and favorite publisher get together, but I like you both separate, too. So I win either way.
I kept reading the headline as “My balcony Life” and I had no idea what that picture might have to do with anything. I’m a little slow today.
duuuude, relapse so soon after losing 20 lbs?
i allow myself a couple slices of bacon every few weeks. but it doesn’t take much to blow my cal count for the day.
i can’t keep it in the house anymore.
Bearpaw, #26: Remember, people said “You’re joking!” when Mr. Scalzi said he was going to tape bacon to his cat. I’m operating on the assumption that some people never learn.
And just this evening, as we ate breakfast for dinner, we were discussing the poor, deluded people who don’t like bacon.
But … but … where’s the Baconnaise?
Being paid in food is a concept I think I could embrace.
Especially if I were paid in truffle oil, chocolate, and smoked salmon.
I wonder if I can pay the IRS with bacon, instead of giving them a portion of my income.
One in a series of incredibly rare contributions from someone who reads but does not participate…
One slice, chopped up, to flavor sauteed green beans or spinach or pretty much anything will do the trick without busting the waistline. That stuff is powerfully good. A bit on the heavily smoked side of things though, nttawwt.
How could you possibly stoop so low? Waste bacon on the soulless legions of the IRS? How could you? (BEG)
Just for the record, 1 slice of bacon has approximately:
3g of fat (including 1 of saturated fat)
9mg of cholesterol
3g of protein
0g carbohydrates (meaning also 0g of fiber and 0g of sugar)
So, not exactly a health food. But it’s not a magical weight-gain substance, either.
there was a time, long long ago, when me eating half a pound of bacon in one sitting was not totally improbable.
like i said, i’m better off if i don’t keep its salty, smokey, meaty goodness in the house.
There is a god.
So… how much of that will end up adorning various four footed members of the family?
I still can’t believe there is such a thing as a “bacon club. It must be a sign of the fast-approaching end times (just 743 shopping days left!). I’d better squirrel away some Bacos.
I’m a Texan, but I spent several months in Wisconsin last year.
Nueske’s apple smoked bacon was one of the bennies.
I only got a couple of pounds total, but I think I now require a pound of Nueske’s a year for survival.