Lopsided Cat is Dubious of the Monkey Thing’s Intentions
Posted on December 12, 2010 Posted by John Scalzi 8 Comments
As well you might be, were you he. I should note that Lopsided Cat is primarily an outdoor cat, but as today marked the first appreciable snowfall of the year, he decided it would be better to wait out the weather inside, and has decided that the new dog was not in fact intent on eating him, so he could relax with the humans rather than disappearing to his secret lair in the basement.
How does the dog feel about this?
Hardly neurotic at all!
Mighty Lopsided Cat should disembowel a raccoon and nestle into its carcass to escape the the cold. Apparently there were no raccoons around.
Soon the Once and Future Chang will leave a comment. I’ll have to check back once I come home from work.
O Great Scalzi, how nice to see Mighty Lopsided Cat after such an unwarranted long absence.
However, after too long association with you the Executive Committee has become used to your poor levels of performance and hardly notices your deficiencies anymore. So we will ignore the horrible second image and congratulate you on a reasonably acceptable first image.
We allow the presence of Athena because
1. She is not you, and that is always correct.
2. Both she and Krissy are permitted in images as long as they have the correct Supplication Attitude, and in this case she does.
3. Mighty He is mostly in focus.
Actually, the second image is too atrocious to let pass:
4. Mighty He is out of focus.
5. The girl hand in the picture may actually be you, and we cannot take the risk.
6. Worst of all, that Rancid Dog Thing is in focus and apparently the reason the picture was taken. This is never correct, and nobody cares about the Rancid Dog Thing except possibly the most degraded and insane of your low-brow Whatever readers, and nobody of any import cares about them.
Delete the second image and all will be forgiven.
The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club
PS – Clayton@1 has nearly the correct idea. Mighty Lopsided Cat should disembowel Rancid Dog Thing instead of a poor, helpless and useful racoon.
Lopsided cat must be a very tolerant creature. In our household, a Monkey Thing making faces and direct eye contact like that would be just asking for claws in the temples, fangs in the forehead, and the disemboweling kick of doom applied to the chin. Think of a fuzzy alien facehugger with pointy bits.
Daisy’s tolerance of the feline infestation of the Scalzi household is laudable. Given that the outdoor feline has invaded her territory, it is beyond magnanimous that she would not only share her home, but also allow the giving of scritches to that which is lopsided.
All Hail Daisy. Man’s (and feline’s) best friend.
countdown to Chang retaliation 5…4…3…2…
Oh Chang Who Is Not Chang, surely you know the great story behind her Gloriousness, She Of The Ivory Claws And Fangs, who is the daughter of the great Cat-god Bast and was sent to show both man and cats into their glorious future, and how Set, the father-god of chaos and evil, made raccoons to try and stop Bast’s people (cats) from reaching their grand designs for Earth. Thus why mighty Lopsided Cat must disembowel them for Her Shimmering Glorious Perfection. Also, Daisy The Rancid Dog Thing has been being very accommodating towards Ghlaghghee Our Goddess on Earth as a trustworthy if not somewhat unorthodox character.
It appears to me that the wall outlet is the most in-focus item in the second picture. I think Daisy is dubious of the obvious double standard that permits Lopsided cat on the bed and not Daisy herself.
Lopsided cat must be a very tolerant creature. In our household, a Monkey Thing making faces and direct eye contact like that would be just asking for claws in the temples, fangs in the forehead, and the disemboweling kick of doom applied to the chin. Think of a fuzzy alien facehugger with pointy bits.
Ha! And I think we need to add this PSA for emphasis.