36 Comments on “The Ultimate Sacrilege”

1. Ask that lady if you can borrow her hat. You’d rock in it.

2. That lady is, even as we speak, using a cell phone like she was born with it in her hand. She is the hippest person in this room.

3. Okay, I admit I missed a few days, but what the heck is a cloud-based laptop? No apps loaded on it? No thanks.

4. I hardly even notice the little antenna sticking out of you head through which you recieve commands from the collective.

   gives you that “Alfalfa” chic.

5. OK, John, you confused me. You’re in a coffeeshop, doing what everybody else does in a coffeeshop. Eating stuff that’s less than optimally healthy for them, and sucking down bandwidth like a Hoover on steroids. Why is using a cloudtop any more indicative of the End Of The World As We Know It than my sitting in a food court last night with my shiny new Android, sucking down bandwidth like a mad sucking thing and munching on a jam thumbprint?

6. cloud based computting was developed for mining gas giants. Lando Calrissian invented I believe. Only problem is the comm port is physically identical to a kilovolt power coupling used in substations. stupid fucking standards committee wouldnt budge. said something about being happy they didnt establish a permanent garrison.

7. Does that thing have a webcam? We need evidence that you’re *not* wearing a turtleneck and/or a beret.

8. @ Greg: Okay, THAT sounds cool. I’m in.

9. GlennS:

   I wrote a book on writing called “You’re Not Fooling Anyone When You Take a Laptop Into a Coffee Shop,” and I recently wrote an entry on why I was skeptical about the advisability of cloud-based computers.

10. Also, the only way you could compound this if you were working on a LitFic novel about some aging dude angsting about his upcoming high school reunion.

11. Ah, so that’s why everyone in the shopping mall jumped at once in NZ, we were falling off the earth since the North hemisphere was destroyed by act of Mr Scalzi.

12. Marko:

    ZOMG HOW DID YOU KNOW

13. The End is, gulp, near? Wait a minute: the Chicago Cubs aren’t playing the Texas Rangers in the World Series? You must be bluffing. Well played, sir, well played.

14. Yeah its nice that the world is ending, but what is that delicious looking piece of delectable yum on the table?
    Tell me so I can live vicariously through your tastebuds.
    I’m eating oatmeal. sigh.

15. Also, lets make the hip lady famous. Interview her.

16. I was going to say you’re not fooling anybody, just saying. But that joke is ruined now.

17. It was a slice of butterscotch pie. And it it was good, but right about now I can tell I really need to eat some real food to counteract its massive amount of empty calories.

18. 12/22/10, approximately 7:23 Central Daylight Time: John Scalzi Jumps Shark.

    And what a glorious jump it was.

19. So are you doing what people really take laptops to coffee shops for?

20. You, sir, are now the very definition of meta…

21. Scalzi:

    You’re writing it ON A CLOUD-BASED LAPTOP. Your novel is stored IN THE CLOUD. We all have access to it. And boy is your editor going to get an earful, starting about five seconds after you turn it in.

22. Clearly, by definition, you were not working. End of story.

    Dr. Phil

23. Just promise me you aren’t wearing skinny hipster jeans, and we’re cool.

24. Oh, if ONLY I could find a coffee shop in this coffee-less city of Seattle….maybe if I threw a rock…

25. If a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, then you, sir, are a damn genius. Not that we ever doubted it.

26. I think, mostly, we’d just like to hear more about how its working out for you. I’ll tell you one thing that the GoogleOS will do for me … it won’t let me access my media at home, so no more lying to myself, saying I can get some work done while having a movie up in the background. Unfortunately, having it cut me off from the net to keep me from surfing or quintuple checking the same handful of sites that distract me might become counter productive ;-p

27. That’s a lot … sparser … than the coffee shops around here. How’s the hot chocolate?

28. Well, I’m fooled.

29. All John needs now is a cup of coffee and a piece of cherry pie.

30. “HELLO! AND WELCOME TO YOUR NEW COMPUTER!”

    (Or is this the equivalent of wearing a band’s shirt to their concert? Screw it, it made me giggle.)

31. What is really needed is to have your computer cam taking a picture of you while you’re taking a picture of it… an endless meta loop!!

32. Ah, but we know that you’re enjoying that venti extra-hot skinny half-caf peppermint eggnog mocha with extra whip ironically.

33. BUT WERE YOU WRITING A NOVEL?

34. Ooh pie!

35. Pride goeth before the fall. The sad tale of the decline and fall of a writer: http://theeternalgoldenbraid.blogspot.com/2010/12/decline-and-fall-of-writer-john-scalzi.html

    Written out of jealousy the way some kids get all the cool toys, of course.

    :)

36. The end is near? Pish, posh; it’s already happened. Evidence? The Saints won the Super Bowl this year.