Your Driver is Here
Posted on January 8, 2011 Posted by John Scalzi 30 Comments
“Where is it you want to go? The veterinarian’s? I’m sorry, I don’t go there. I don’t go anywhere near there, frankly. I’ll take you to Burger King instead. Yes, you can pay me in Whoppers, why do you ask?”
She’s actually not bad. Not so good with the parallel parking. But then, who is.
How’s your Saturday, then?
NIce!
The phrase “Do you want to go in the car?” can drive our 11 year old English Bulldog to distraction.
We don’t let him drive, though. He’s easily distracted, not to mention that he can’t see over the steering wheel.
Our Great Dane loves to do this as well. I always look at her and think that I’m very glad she doesn’t have an opposable dewclaw – could hotwiring the car be far behind?
Re #1
Besides, and English Bulldog might have a tendency to drive on the wrong side of the road, which is dangerous to say the least.
My Saturday is suddenly much improved!
What a sweetie. I don’t let my dog drive because she’ll only let us listen to the classic rock station and, Jesus, I’ve heard “Welcome to the Machine” more than enough for this lifetime.
Just got on the internet and my home page tells me that Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, D-Arizona was shot in the head while meeting with some constituents. Someone opened fire with an automatic weapon and wounded several people.
And lo, the rhetoric wins. And those who wield it get to cry out in fear and horror even more.
That’s kind of a thread derail, Joel.
On second thought, it did happen today, and I asked how your Saturday was, so never mind. Although I would caution assigning motive at this point; we don’t know anything about why the shooter did what he did.
My Saturday is quite good, thanks. Had to do some branch-trimming in the backyard because our Giant Schnauzer got herself tangled in it (we keep her on a lead) 2 out of the 2 times I let her outside for awhile. And yes, this branch was pretty much at the far end of her lead.
Yeah – it really was a derailer. Sorry about plotzing all over the dog-given happiness. The crazy disturbed me and I had to bloviate.
Have you ever read Louis Bromfield’s stories about his Boxers? Apparently they were very fond of climbing into his car and sitting there, especially on winter days. However, once one of them managed to release the brakes, and the dogs went for a short, but apparently memorable, ride. I think that particular story is in Pleasant Valley but it could have been Malabar Farm.
Used to have a German Shepard who understood what “ride” meant, she would then Shepard us to the door if we were not moving fast enough for her liking. Then we tried spelling the word when we used it in casual conversation and dang if she didn’t figure that out too!
She was perfectly content to sit behind the driver with her head on headrest so she could check out passing cars, recieve cookies from bank tellers, annoy officers at the occasional safety check, and beg McDonald’s fries from passing teenagers.
And yes, they’d get out and feed her if we were stopped at a light!!
My Show-Fur is on strike. He’s a poodle, and one cannot expect anything less from a French commercial driver.
And despite that, my Saturday is going well.
Just got done road testing some teenagers up here in Michigan and parallel parking is part of the road test. It’s the most feared part, may I add. The road test includes a short stretch of expressway driving, and that’s the part I fear.
I just wanted to say she probably parks very well, but she doesn’t want you to put her to work. She’s just dogging it.
Sorry about that.
Thanks for asking! My granddaughter just left about an hour ago (amazing how quickly they socialize, she’s got the fake smile and nose-wrinkle down pat at 16 months!) and both myself and the Admiral are exhausted. Poured the Admiral a glass of wine and took the rest of the bottle out to the hot tub (at 23 degrees and snowing, the Admiral was having none of it!).
The tub is nice for contemplating your navel, solving the worlds woes and planning out what needs to be done the next day — while watching the deer move from one thicket to the next (no idea why, since it’s all similarly exposed — kind of like asking why the chicken crossed the road.) I noticed some new deadfall that I need to take care of tomorrow — one 4″ dia branch took out a spruce that we’ve been nursing back to health since we moved in (yeah, good luck with that).
Saw the post on the congressman, and as a good friend once said, “if that’s all you have to worry about (referring to the deadfall) compared to the crap others need to deal with, you’re doing just fine, so shut the **** up.”
I truly hope all turns out well with that incident.
My Saturday was kind of blah until I went to kendo. Now I’m tired but feel much better mentally. :)
Today we got all the Christmas Crap taken down and nearly all of it put away, and I got the last holiday parcel mailed (the joke in my family is that Christmas isn’t over until the packages arrive), and then my other half and I went out for Thai.
Not too bad, once I filter out the sort of mouth-frothing, eye-watering political invective I really try not to indulge in on the internet.
John –
I learned to parallel park visiting y’all in Chicago! I’m really good at it! Betcha didn’t know that! : )
Last Xmas present waiting to be handed out to a friend visiting from CA, so we’re nearly done on that front. And there is a penultimate RPG for DH’s Napoleonic campaign tonight, with Special Guest Stars, and a good dinner beforehand, so all is well in this neck of the woods at this time.
Our dogs used to love going places in the car, or even just sitting in the car. This picture reminds me of a Gary Larson cartoon, the one with the dog riding in the car saying to the other dog “Ha ha Biff! Guess what? After we go to the drug store and the post office I’m going to the vets to get tutored.”
I learned to parallel park in a 1971 Cadillac Coupe d’Ville. when i worked at U. Kans. I learned to park it in places where i ended up with a breathtakingly little amount of room front and back. (like less than 6″). It cost so much to get a parking pass on campus compared to our salary that parking any place I could get was a miracle.
(This is as opposed to the bookkeeper in my department whom i watched one morning, as she MADE a space big enough on Oread Avenue with her Chrysler Giant Car by bumping the car in front and in back of her until her car fit. Oy.)
Miss Daisy is driving, huh?
The technology exists for self-parking cars. Get her one of those and she’s good to go. I want to see the looks when she comes in to get her license at DMV!
I once took my parents’ dog on a ride to the mailbox. He didn’t get out of the car until we were back at the house. He knew the ride wasn’t over until you were back where you started!
I like the post (abhor the violence that happened) and ask, does Daisy have a dog park nearby? It’s a great place for dog lovers to meet each other & dogs to socialize. Ours is named “Fort Woof”, and dogs Love the toys left there and doggy watering holes.
Tim Deardoff:
Her dog park is our yard, into which neighbor dogs occasionally wander, at which time she plays with them until their owner come ’round to get them.
“And, also, the driver’s window *will* be open the entire trip. Just deal with it.”
I actually spent Saturday (and today) driving! I never bothered to get my license after I learned as a teenager, but have decided that should change, so I spent all weekend driving with my parents over the various peninsulas in the West Puget Sound area, just to readjust myself.
Coming in late on this one John, but this photograph – alone – finally lifted the Cloak of Raging Fit that had descended on my not-quite-three-year-old daughter yesterday. Raging, biting, kicking, crying, insane little girl for an hour or more. Until your dog decided to drive your damned car.
Bless you. And her.
My dogs always jump into the driver’s seat when I put them into the car,
My Saturday was educational–when a car is recalled they do it for a reason. I drive a Ford Windstar. My model year had been recalled because rear axles had been breaking–but I hadn’t gotten around to going in for the inspection. My axle broke on Saturday. Not quite realizing what happened, I drove it again Sunday and had a tire technician at Wal-Mart look at it. He told me I should call for a tow. This morning was spent getting all that taken care of.
Reminds me of the old Farside cartoon where the dog is leaning out of the window of a car and gleefully telling his friend “I’m going to the the vet to get tutored”.