Welcome to the Deadly Ice Planet of Death AKA February

It’s not much to look at, admittedly. It’s the mundane ice planet of death. But those apparent bald patches of lawn there are actually encased in ice, thick enough that Krissy and the dog both had difficulty  walking across the lawn this morning. The roads are a mess, school is canceled and Krissy is staying home. And of course more mess is on the way, with snow, sleet and ice trading places as the day goes by, and a winter storm warning that doesn’t expire for 36 hours.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop drinking antifreeze.

Anyway, hello, we’re doomed. Welcome to February.

36 Comments on “Welcome to the Deadly Ice Planet of Death AKA February”

  1. I’m bitterly jealous. All we have is “friggen cold”, without the fun of ice and snow. And “friggen cold” doesn’t get school/work canceled. /whine

  2. Up here in Winnipeg, I woke up to -31 C with a wind chill of -44 C. It is quite literally like Hoth out there, and we’re recovering from a fresh dump of 6 inches of snow on Friday. I’d had a Tauntaun, but it froze before I reached the first marker.

  3. Balmy 30 degrees C in Sydney tonight. You can have 15 or 20 of our degrees if you like. We might be able to get some sleep then.

  4. Heck, we’re even looking at snow on the Gulf Coast this week. The front’s just now hitting, so it’s business as usual today.

    My grandpa always said to wait until Valentine’s Day to plant the tomatoes. He was a smart man.

  5. Pretty much the same down our way. The road outside my window looks safe enough, but I think I’ll wait until the afternoon for that grocery run.

  6. Ah post-snowpocalyptic life is hard, I am glad that I am living here in Arizona. Wishing you some global warming err.. climate change, for the better, John. Spring is coming, maybe…

  7. Up here, we’re expecting the midwest’s leftovers. About a foot of snow this evening. Fortunately, it’ll only be around -10 degrees Celsius. (14 F). So… T-shirt weather.

  8. When I was a kid in the UP of Michigan, we loved those days!!! And look what a perfectly flat space you have on which to make an ice rink! Even better – it’s already started!! What are you whining about when there is so much fun to be had??? Get to work, man!

  9. We’re a couple of hours north of you, and so far we haven’t seen anything yet. We’re already planning a day off for the kids tomorrow though as the weather report is calling for a minimum of 10″ of snow overnight.

  10. Snowmageddon III: Snow Hard With A Vengeance is well underway here in the great northeast.

  11. I hope the schools here let out early, it’s supposed to get bad right when the kids are on their way home. Might close up early at work tonight, not planning on going in tomorrow. Snow day for all!

  12. Here in NY, the ice-pocalypse is coming shortly. It’s snowing incredibly hard right now, and there’s about 2 feet of snow on the ground that had already accumulated from a few previous snow storms. It has reached the point where no one knows what to do with the snow anymore. Loads of (not) fun.

  13. “It’s not much to look at, admittedly” – Isn’t that the beginning of a Robert Frost poem?

  14. Ah, Miami. This unseasonal chill is keeping the mosquitoes away and making so that the cool afternoon sunshine is delicious to sit in. Hardly any complaints from down here.

  15. Bryan @ 3 —

    I spent a winter in Winnepeg a few years ago. I learned then that Farenheit and Celsius cross back over each other at sufficiently cold temperatures–temperatures that Winnipeg oftentimes encounters.

    So yes, I expect you win the Whatever bragging rights for coldest location on a regular basis.

    I remember February temperatures, mid-May snowfall, spring rains/floods, and summer mosquitos.

    Being Canadian, the people were very nice to me. I was even taken to a Goldeyes game! But I have to ask you (because I had the thought so frequently during my stay) why don’t people in Winnipeg relocate to someplace other than Winnipeg? Someplace more temperate, with fewer days below zero? You know, the tropics.

    Say, like Fargo?

  16. Well, here in NH, I the good news is that they are no longer talking about this latest storm dumping 18 inches of snow on us. The bad news is now they are talking about it dumping 2 feet of it (on top of the 3 feet we got in January). Snowmaggedon, indeed – glad I pushed the snow waaaaaaay back on the first plowing, otherwise my driveway would be a walkway.

  17. “Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop drinking antifreeze.”

    Great line!

    Here in Chicago, we’re anxiously awaiting the Snowpocalypse which, if it delivers as promised by the weather people, will dump somewhere between 10 and 279 inches of snow in the next 24 hours.

  18. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang of Space Command

    It’s the ice that’s really the bitchin’ part. We got a good layer of it under the felgercarb that’s coming down.

    Oh, I actually like the snow, though. I’m looking forward to snowpocalypse tomorrow when I’m staying in and writing. Wippie-wipp!

  19. To Nick,

    Yep, everyone thinks that we Winnipeggers are crazy. Perhaps we are a little off our rockers, but it’s still the only place I want to live! Amazing summers, tons of festivals, a cool coffee shop and/or used book store in every neighborhood, not to mention the friendliest people on the planet!

    And I’m guessing that even though Mr. Scalzi’s abode looks like Hoth, he probably has similar feelings about his neck of the woods! Home is home.

    Nick, if you’re ever back in Winnipeg, I’ll buy you a beer. Maybe Bryan will join us. We’ll commiserate about the mosquitoes!

  20. When I was an 11 year old in Northern Minnesota, we’d have considered that a perfect place to play “soccer”. (Which there was more akin to hockey with no sticks and rubber balls.

    Now I am very happy to be someplace where that never happens.

  21. How’s that global warming working out for you? Haw haw haw.

    (Can someone punch me in the face for that comment, please?)

  22. Actually, this is one of the scenarios for global warming/climate change: bigger, more intense storms.

    Here in western NY, it was bad enough this morning with the little baby storm. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow.

  23. iain@27

    Oooooh, “Snoverdose”. I like that one.

    I tend to use “Snowmageddon”, but have also used “Snowpocalypse”, “Snowapalooza”, “Donner Party Extravaganza”, “Blizzardzilla”, and plain old “Typical New England Winter”

  24. I am reminded of the very best Lost episode title, “Some Like It Hoth.”

  25. I came to Dallas Monday night for a meeting Tuesday.

    Overnight Monday Dallas got hit with an ice storm, which closed the office, closed the airport, canceled my meeting, and canceled my flight home.

    I’m flying back to New Jersey on Wednesday morning. They’re predicting the ice storm to hit NJ overnight Tuesday into Wednesday.

    Stay away from me – I’m cursed.

  26. The inglorious weather radar shows that the leading edge of the storm will hit my office in about 15 minutes. 30 minutes after that it hits the tiny little town we live in, with the entire heart of the storm passing directly over our house.

    I blame Scalzi. ‘Cause, dammit, I can.

    In the meanwhile, I’m outta here.

  27. In Central Oklahoma we’ve got 4 to 12 inches of snow and sleet covering a 1/4 inch of ice that came down as freezing rain last night. But it’s better than the 18 or so inches that Tulsa got. And as I said on FB last night Thunder Snow…WTF?

  28. You think your’re doomed? Have you seen the size of the cyclone bearing down on Australia right now? It makes Katrina look like… well, Katrina still looks like a huge devastating storm, but this cyclone Yasi is definitely physically bigger as well as having the highest intensity rating.

    And just a few weeks after the massive floods just a little further south in the same state.

  29. When we had our massive freezeover last month that shut down the city for a week, many here changed the city’s long standing nickname from Hot’Lanta to Hoth’Lanta.

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