Home Again
Posted on February 14, 2011 Posted by John Scalzi 51 Comments
And in case you’re wondering, this is what a “scalzi” worth of Coke Zero looks like. The cats are added for scale.
More later, but I have to do a bit of work now. Something about being away for four and a half days means there’s stuff to catch up on.
The cats look like they’re trying to figure out why you stocked up on Coke Zero instead of IMPORTANT emergency supplies: like cat food.
Thassalotta Coke Zero! And, what Romeo said in #1.
:-)
I’m embarrassed to admit that my quirky aesthetic sense made me notice the nice use of white space on the fridge door before the ginormous stack of Coke Zero (the freezer door, however, is cluttered and disorganized).
And the cats are clearly trying to determine how best to configure the cases as building material for an impregnable feline bunker…
That is one of the prettiest pictures I have ever seen. Enjoy your day John.
SOMEONE is enjoying her position on a pedestal, enjoying the adoration of her minions.
nice! i had a similar tower of Barq’s. I can’t find it in north carolina. got hooked on it in western new york, but moved south to escape the snow (so much for that idea). I bring or ship cases of barq’s from anywhere i happen to find it! georgia and california are two that stand out.
oh, and Jim, my own quirky aesthetic sense is bothered by the one upside-down case! :)
Lord, you have beautiful cats.
Who wants to put in a guess how many posts before the Ghlaghghlee Appreciation Society takes John to task for acting like this picture aint about the kitties?
Fairly disappointed that Capricon didn’t clog up Twitter the way SD Comicon did. Better class of attendee?
Scalzi-henge with feline overlords, no doubt cranking the Fixx’s “Saved by Zero”
*Homer Simpson Voice*
Pffft… That’s alot of coke… I guess.
*END Homer Simpson Voice*
I think we should have a new daily update called “What’s the picture on John’s fridge?”
That’s a lot of soda.
The critter is probably thinking: “At least I could eat the bacon.”
It occurred to me the other day while watching a National Georgraphic special on ancient Rome that the ‘cal’ in Scalzi is the same ‘cal’ in Caligula (‘barefoot,’ literally, ‘without shoes’ versus ‘Little Army Boots’). First is the stockpiling of Coke Zero; next, making one of your cats a Senator, no doubt.
Is that a Scalzi or 1 and 1/17th Scalzis? And what is the 1/17th Scalzi unit called?
This is what drove those nutty Europeans to the metric system.
So what exactly is in Coke Zero? I mean, it definitely tastes closer to real coke than diet coke, but what’s new in it? Do you know what the difference is? splenda?
So, 2592 ozs = 216 cans = 9 cases = 1 Scalzi.
Interesting.
The “WTF” looks on the cats’ faces are priceless. It’s like the cats-and-coke-zero version of the cavemen and the monolith from 2001.
Ghlaghghlee is clearly saying what cats always say when you bring something new in: “everything here is mine.”
Tully:
Actually 8.5 cases (the top container there is a 12-pack).
Anybody else hear the opening strains of “Also Sprach Zarathustra” just now, or is it just me?
Arto – see my comment at 20 :P
It’s hard to tell through the blinding radiance of The Queen Of All She Surveys but it appears the top *2* boxes are 12 packs.
The most obvious difference is the inclusion of acesulfame potassium (in addition to aspartame) as a sweetener. It’s also been suggested that the flavor formulation is identical to Coke Classic, where as Diet Coke uses a different formulation (which somne claim is same as “new” Coke). There was for a while a Diet Coke sweetened with sucralose (Splenda), but it was marked as such.
Ghlaghghee: “Before you can come up here you have to answer a riddle. What goes on four legs…”
Zeus: “Man. Now scoot over and let me up.”
G: “You didn’t let me finish! What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs…”
Z: “Man! Everybody knows that riddle, for crying out loud. Now move over and let me come up!”
G: “Okay, okay, let’s try a different one.”
Z: “No! I answered your stupid riddle, now let me up!”
G: “HEY! Who’s the alpha here?”
Z: (grumble) “All right. What is it?”
G: “What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs?”
Z: “Easy. Shake hands. Can I come up now?”
G: “Sure, come on up. But you wouldn’t believe some of the other answers I get to that one!”
I can haz cafeen?
Smart cats. The best drink made for someone who can’t have sugar.
Spirit03:
Well, they also gave me the surplus Coke Zero they bought because they didn’t know my exact weight. Probably should have noted that.
Actually 8.5 cases (the top container there is a 12-pack).
Be darned, so it is. That means the dieting is going well, I hope! Recalculating …
2448 ozs = 204 cans = 8.5 cases = 1 Scalzi
Tully: Indeed, 204 cans is the agreed-upon measurement.
And now we can look forward to seeing the inevitable news stories about the hapless supermarket clerk buried under a collapsing pyramid of Coke Zero cans he was attempting to stack: “Ten Scalzis Crush Clerk”
I won’t use the Scalzi until Google recognizes it as a unit of measure. Because I’m lazy and I use Google for all my unit conversion needs.
Right now, if I enter “1 Scalzi in ounces” in a Google search I get a (dead) link to a trifle recipe attributed to Our Hero.
O Great Scalzi, how wonderful it is to see the Beauteous Ghlaghghee and TempCat Zeus gazing correctly adoringly at Her.
However…
This is really such a poor picture the Executive Committee hardly knows where to begin. Framing, lighting, composition, centering, irrelevancy, clutter – it is all there and it is all bad. Clearly only two pictures in the past two months of Her are not enough to maintain your meager imaging skills.
After so much proper instruction, coaching, and encouragement we simply cannot understand your poor performance. Have you suffered a recent neurological problem – a stroke, perhaps? The Executive Committee can understand your lapses in this case and will have sympathy, at least for awhile. Just let us know.
If not… we shall be getting quite irritated with you if you cannot improve both quality and quantity of pictures of Her Most Glorious Shimmering Radiant Perfection. We expect pictures of:
1. Her
2. Being Glorious
3. Displaying Her Shimmering Radiant Perfection
4. Perfectly
This is really not too much to ask. So hop to it. (Unless you have suffered a stroke, that is. In which case we will have more patience.)
The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club
Whatever the details may be, the end result is that Coke Zero is the supreme soft drink.
And another suggestion for the riddle of the housecat: What do you find in a man’s pants and on a pool table, but not in a woman’s dress?
Pockets. What did you think?
I would not be able to finish a Scalzi of Coke Zero before it went bad.
@#37 Can Coke Zero go bad?
@Joyce Coke Zero can indeed go bad. And not only in the “Scalzi drinks his weight in Coke Zero and then goes on a rampage, destroying several small farms” way; but artificial sweeteners degrade fairly quickly, typically having a lifespan of around 6 months to a year. Some degrade quicker than others; the acesulfame potassium actually helps Coke Zero taste decently far longer than Diet Coke (well, within the limits of Diet Coke ever tasting decent), and Diet Dr. Pepper, while decent if within date (to my taste), tastes quite nasty if over about six months old.
Sugar sodas last much longer, in my experience.
Naturally, today I’ve spent too much time reading this blog and too little working! Maybe some Coke Zero imbibation (?) would help…
The top two cases are 12 packs, if I’m reading it right.
Ah, man, that means all my newly machined standard weights are all off.
Dammit!
you know what would help here? Perspective. Scalzi, next time you take such a picture, scoot over to the side a smudge so we’re not looking at a wall of Coke that has zero depth to it.
That’s it. I’m switching back to parsecs as my standard unit of mass. Since it also works as a unit of time and distance, it does make things a lot easier, though occaisionally more ambiguous.
SO – what is that, about a week’s supply?
Zeus looks like a twin to my cats. Huh, especially my male; slimly proportioned, gracile yet built like a miniature leopard. Excellent photo in my humblest opinion.
Ghlaghghee: “Dis Coke is miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!”
dear chang, who is not chang,
i have asked this before but must ask it again: please will you marry me? :D
So, just curious: for those of us who can’t stand Diet Coke, but needs to cut down on superfluous calories, would I notice a “diet-y” taste to Coke Zero? Someone bought me some Cherry Coke Zero and I couldn’t bloody well stand it, but that might have been the addition of cherry.
If it’s got sucralose, aspertame, or … hm… what was that third one now… can’t think of it.
Anyway, if its got one of those particular artificial sweeteners, there is *always* an aftertaste.
A rancid, horrible aftertaste that one might imagine tastes like Emporor Palpatine’s bitter tears.
I just end up drinking regular Mt. Dew and then putting the extra calories in the daily budget.
Cats are not allowed on the kitchen island. Your cats are setting a bad example for cats everywhere.
She’s not on the kitchen island. She’s on a tower of Coke Zero.
The fanclub of the sweet Zeus will have those suggesting otherwise know that Zeus worships no one, but might be wondering what the other cat is doing up there. No worship involved either way.
Also: Coke Zero is not as sweet as the sweet Zeus, but I like it anyway.
RE: #49, did she jump straight from the floor to the tower? I suspect their was a layover at the island.