Ghlaghghee Wishes to Engage You in a Staring Contest
Posted on March 2, 2011 Posted by John Scalzi 36 Comments
There you go. You kids have fun.
Myself, I’m running a little behind on things so I am running away from Teh Intarweebs probably for the rest of the day. If I pop up again today it will most likely be in the evening, otherwise it’ll be tomorrow. Stay out of trouble. Good luck staring down the cat.
There goes the rest of my day…
Reminiscent of a Duran Duran cover of the 80’s (Nagelish?)
I win…hahahahah, silly cat!!
(tries to not make eye contact)
Huh, one of my eye things went missing and the middle one changed. That makes sense now… :(
ugh, I blinked…
must… open… cat… food…
OMG! For the rest of the day?! But, there is the supreme court’s ruling about westboro that requires comment and discussion! Free speech triumphs but good taste loses?
Why do I have this sudden craving for catnip?
@ #6 Aurian
You unintentionally created an HTML code using the greater/less symbols.
Don’t make me bring out hypnotoad.
Oh, thanks David. I was just thinking of the visual – I have no experience coding!!! Darn cat is trying to trip me up…
What is this can opener before me, the handle toward my hand?
In a contest I can win against Priscilla the Amish drag queen (I think). I can win against Ping. I can win against Maggie and her sister Frida. I’m not sure about the outside cats: Fred Rader, Spock and Tux.
I don’t remember if I could win against Scuzzball aka SCSI (the Spanish punk rocker and Priscilla’s dueña).
With Priscilla if it’s time for breakfast, dinner or treats, she’ll win everytime. She can stare at you like she’s staring off into space and still make you aware of her patience.
Cats are very Zen. To stare down a cat you must be Zenner. Cheating helps too.
Bony (Monsieur Napoleon Bonaparte) cannot be bothered to stare; he just yowls for service.
Hee, hee…silly puddy tat…tryin’ to stare down a Sicilian! (Guido pops balloon behind back, scaring eight of nine lives outta th’ cat whilst simultaneously succeeding in attaching it to the ceiling of John’s office for the rest of the work day)
I think this post might break every single rule promulgated by the Ghlaghghee Ghan Club. I eagerly await the communique that will be delivered by Chang (but not Chang, no, never Chang).
I dunno, I don;t see any bare hairy leg in this one. That`s one rule that didn`t get broken. :p
I had a cat once try to out-stare a boa. Silly (sadly, departed) kitty.
To add to the amusement, the snake was asleep at the time as well.
She is good, I haven’t seen her blink once.
Neat picture. For some reason the Photoshop treatment you gave the picture combined with the intense cat stare instantly made me think of that 80’s movie Cat People.
All right all ready. Where is Chang who is not Chang? I won’t believe this is really a picture of Ghlaghghee until we hear from the Official Ghlaghghee Ghan Club. They must be livid about the extreme Photoshopping the picture of their Goddess has been subjected to.
The Fan Club hasn’t lost the contest yet.
That is one LONG stare-down Chang ≠ Chang is having with Ghlaghghee. Either that or Chang ≠ Chang has finally been blinded by Her Shimmering Radiance.
That would make an awesome t-shirt.
In the absence of his High Executive-ness. I will take it upon myself (lowly toady that I am) to pass judgment (rudimentary though it may be) on this hackneyed attempt at photography.
Mr Saclzi. While we are always pleased by frequent representation of the Glorious She, as is only proper, we cannot condone such desecration of Her glorious image. The extreme close up of the image, while correctly focusing on nothing other than She, deprives the viewing audience of the complete perfection that is Ghlaghghee. Alteration of Her perfection in anyway is in itself an offense to all, however to so drastically alter that it with something as mundane as a Photoshop filter is the height of insult, to say nothing of the pedestrian use of said image in a “staring contest”.
We award you 10 points for improving your site with Ghlaghghee’s radiance and an additional 5 points for not defiling the image any further by including yourself or any other animal. We also subtract 100 points for the arrogance of believing you are capable of paying proper homage to the beauteous She.
A self-proclaimed lackey of the Executive Committee of the Ghlaghghee Fan Club
How was that?
GL8124: You gave John wayyyyy too many points 8).
Chang who is not Chang is probably just too furious over the obvious use of photoshop to post a comment yet.
I think Chang would agree that -85 points is appropriate :-D
O Great Scalzi, how nice  of you to present a picture that contains absolutely nothing correct about it.
That is, nothing correct except that the Executive Committee can discern Her Presence in this image. Of course, you could take a random picture of anything and we could detect Her Glorious Shimmering Radiant Perfection in it because She is Everywhere and Everywhen.
However, we prefer images taken according to our guidelines and not corrupted by what you seem to think is clever or comedic. Is it really harder to take a good picture than to do this? Answer: No, it is not.
You have forced the Executive Committee to call the Disciplinary Sub-Committee to order, and the finding is
That The Executive Committee of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club, a quorum being duly assembled, hereby Admonishes and Censures Blacklisted Scalzi, and presents him with the The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club Seal of Disapproval Award, to run from now until a correct image of the Beauteous Ghlaghghee is presented.
The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club
. This is sarcasm. Since you are regressing faster than we ever imagined, we have decided to provide you with some annotations to help you puzzle things out.
. We decided to supply the answer in case you couldn’t figure it out. No. Nyet. Nein. Nope.
Ahh, Chang ≠ Chang finally blinked. ;-)
See GL2814 I told you 8)
I bow to the master of all things Ghlaghghee who is Chang who is not Chang.
I am unworthy of my self proclaimed toady-ness and hereby tender my resignation.
I shall now go whip myself.
OK, commencing staring.
Computer goes to screen saver, which I interpret as Ghlaghghee blinking. I win.