Posted on March 24, 2011 Posted by John Scalzi 33 Comments
Desktop computer’s ethernet connection doesn’t want to ether today, which naturally presents a host of problems. So guess what I’m doing with my morning?
Be back later.
You’ve gone in search of the elusive Cat-6 cable, 5 meter. And you’re blogging from a local coffee shop, waiting for the store to open.
I am guessing that he is playing video games, and is only pretending that his internet does not work, so he can play more video games.
naturally i would think you would be:
1) reverse engineering the TCP/IP stack
2) ensuring adapter is enabled in device manager
3) typing ‘ipconfig /renew *’ furiously.
4) getting a new one (they’re usually pretty cheap, or you can steal one from a neighbour)
5) sending me a copy of Fuzzy Nation.
so more of an ethernot connection [misplaced smug chuckle]
Hmmm…my desktop does this occasionally too. Turning it off, unplugging the power, cycling the power button (to discharge the negative energy, man), and plugging it back in usually does the trick. Good luck!
Or, you could also sacrifice a chicken.
Derek @6: Or, you could also sacrifice a chicken.
I like Barry’s (#4) idea better. Just send me a copy of Fuzzy Nation. That’ll make everything better. For me, at least. ;-)
kickin it in your bathrobe while watching Aurthur and his friends Buster, The Brain and Francine?
@hugh57: Sacrificing chickens is sooo pre-industrial revolution. Nowadays you’ve got to sacrifice a nerd.
EtherNet is so 1970s. If you have to get a new card for you computer anyway, you should just bite the bullet and upgrade to the new PhlogistonNet.
Routers are hard to come by though, and PhlogistonNet will burn right through a firewall.
My ancient 10/100T router is very responsive to even the unspoken threat of percussive maintenance,
#3: You’re probably right :-)
#9: Don’t be silly. While I think you’re right about the chicken, it’s still perfectly acceptable to sacrifice as many as 72 virgins! Although I suppose (a) nerdy virgin(s) would be even better :-)
#10 FTW! I was going to suggest that your desktop has gone steampunk and is now using aethernet.
JIGGLE THE HANDLE!
oh wait…er, nm
thanks Hugh, I *did* think it was a good idea :)
Got landed into hospital on Monday so naturally I am exhausting all available reading material. Mr. Scalzi himself was namedropped in what I’m reading, “Sarurn’s Children”. Scalzi and Stross seem to like doing that!
You’re practicing for your cameo in Spiderman: Turn off the Dark?
If you’re running one of the Linux distro’s you’re probably recompiling the kernel as we speak…
Your computer should be fine. Several experiments have showed that the ether is an unnecessary assumption in physics. Get back to work John.
I don’t understand. Is the ethernet connection really necessary to shoot zombies?
I can relate, I dodged a nasty computer virus last Monday. The scam tried to shake you down for money to remove said scam.
Getting the snow tires off your car. Oh, wait….you don’t have snow tires in Ohio, do you?
#16 – I believe that every person on Earth will one day have a role in Spiderman: Turn off the Dark. This will be forced upon those unwilling, due to the lack of uninjured willing participants.
And yes, I believe the ethernet is a lie, covering up much dezombification.
Check the hosts file – if it’s set to 127.0.0.1 you have a malware trojan that is resetting your hosts file and keeping you off the internet…I don’t remember off the top of my head what it is, but it’s a giant pain. My mother’s computer was hit with it last weekend and I’m giong to have to figure out the name and walk her through registry edits and editing files over the phone.
I hate computer nonsensory…
A handy gadget/spare part is an USB-power ethernet adapter. You don’t have to open the case etc etc. Don’t cost much. useful sometimes for the “troubleshooting by parts replacement” method. Here’s a link to an example, in case you’ve never heard of one of these.
Dave Tolen@21: “Getting the snow tires off your car. Oh, wait….you don’t have snow tires in Ohio, do you?”
They do in southeastern Ohio, but there they burn them for warmth because the local coal smells worse.
Indeed that’s what I went out to get, but the local Staples didn’t have any. I got a new wireless adapter instead, but will be getting the USB/ethernet adapter presently.
Taking pictures of the cat? It might at least make Chang (if perhaps not Chang) and the Committee happy.
Unplug the cable and shake it vigorously. Sometimes the tubes get clogged.
…a host of problems, or, problems with your host…
The cat chewed on the cable.
FYI, you can get USB/ethernet adapters for less than half that price if you don’t need the extra wire (that you might need to keep from blocking adjacent USB ports):
I’m going to guess that you’re probably not going to shoot vampire wombats from your upstairs window. Now Wheaton, He hunts dangerous mythical creatures Every weekend.
/checks Wheaton’s blog
// readjusts my own medication for the sake of humanity.
///tries to sneak off the comments section without being noticed.