Saturday Update, 6/11/11

Still without DSL. Have conquered the “computer not finding my mobile hotspot” problem by using the USB tethering option. Nevertheless, preparing for the zombie apocalypse, because clearly this is all a precursor. First the zombies cut the phones, then they cut the rest of the powe

37 Comments on “Saturday Update, 6/11/11”

  1. Clearly this calls for a zombie haiku contest, especially since the mallet of loving correction is probably being utilized elsewhere.

  2. Wait? What?!! The zombie apocalypse CAN’T be upon us already – I haven’t read the CDC’s guide yet! !!!

  3. I’m not sure I’ve read all your DSL Woes threads, where this question may already have been answered, but – asking as someone who’s only ever lived in cities, and knows how few bandwidth providers there can be in cities – if you were to lose all patience with Centurylink, do you have other options? Especially since you live out in the country a bit?

  4. The zombies approach
    Pick up the phone to get help
    Uh oh, no dial tone

  5. Hmmm, I don’t know about Ohio, but I do know that in one part of the country the real time management of the power grid is handled by Excel spreadsheets.

    It does keep awake some nights worrying about it.

  6. I hope the excel version they use has the optional autosave crash feature turned off!

  7. Matt, I’ll let you in on the dirty little secret of public utilities. They’re not fabulously advanced networks of high technology that run themselves in spite of every possible disaster. They’re piles of decades-old technology that have outlived their designers and are kept running by millions of support engineers carrying pagers.

    Don’t worry about your power grid and its Excel spreadsheets. If it breaks, a few hundred pagers will beep and the engineers will spring into action and fix it.

  8. Just one problem with cutting off midword like that: batteries. Mobile phones have them, and so do laptops.

    I’ve engaged the failure mode of clever again, haven’t I?

  9. Apparently the default power failure recovery option for WordPress is to automatically publish the article in progress.

  10. Slack jawed, vacant eyes,
    Moaning, arms reaching for me.
    Kids! Get washed! Supper!

  11. You do realize that the too-smart-for-his-own-good guy trying to scientifically prove zombies can’t exist(or that laptops have batteries) are the first ones to get eaten.

  12. Of course y’all could be living in the Atlanta area right now. We’ll never know when the real zombies come…we’re up to our collective necks in massive street closures so they can film the second season of The Walking Dead.

    And no, having the CDC’s Zombie Survival Guide probably won’t help us tell the diff between faux and real zombies!!

  13. Bring it on! (The zombie apocolypse that is.) Due to unemployment I just downgraded my internet speed to cheapest, and slowest, possible. I feel as if I’m back in the Dark Ages. Now I’ve got nothing more to lose.

  14. I’ll be holing up at the Tops Market warehouse just down the road – if anyone else wants in, get there before I use the pallets of kitty litter to block the doors – or bring a ladder!

  15. # 15, Wendy B, how do you know they aren’t real zombies, taking the parts that union Zombies aren’t allowed to do? (And how do you know when union zombies go on strike? I mean they can’t work any slower or call in ‘sick’) Sorry , John, I’m just tired of zombies & ‘sparkly’ vampires.

  16. Kevin @#17: Actually, in my house, a Communication Breakdown usually just means I’ve got Led Zeppelin on the trusty Hi-Fi.

    Communication breakdown, it’s always the same
    Havin’ a nervous breakdown, drive me insane

  17. You should take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  18. By sheer coincidence, I’m reading Feed by Mira Grant this weekend. Don’t scare me, John. Please.

  19. Here’s a hint, Wendy, faux zombies hang around the craft services tables. And eat the food, not the craft services people.

    Dr. Phil

  20. The joys of country living. We have only one provider and in the last six weeks of lost internet service due to, idiots digging up the lines, a fire taking out switching stations, eight power outages, and various types of “maintenance” done to the system.

  21. #5, Warren, I think he outlined his options in his prior thread on this subject.

  22. what do you mean they cut the power? They’re animals man.

    if you’re gonna keep something around for close encounters, I recommend a stainless steel 12 guage shotgun with buckshot. low maintenance. and you dont need to double tap.

  23. A zombie haiku:
    Brains brains brains, brains brains.
    Brains brains brains brains brains brains brains,
    braaaaains brains. Brains brains, brains!

    (I could have resisted. I chose not to)

  24. @23 – Wait til you read the sequel Deadline. Hopefully the third one (Blackout) will hit before the zombies really invade!

  25. Want my satellite dish? Before I opened the bookstore, I’d get internet at home through
    Hughes/DirecTV. The dish is still available as I haven’t got around to putting it on
    Craigslist. You can have the modem too.

    Caveats: 1) It’s in Baltimore, MD 2) Upload is a lot slower than download BUT! I found surprisingly
    few issues with bad weather. Maybe that’s because the satellites above my house were in a relatively
    clear zone? 3) You still have to sign a monthly agreement with DirecTV/Hughesnet/whatever-they-call-themselves these days.

    You must be going nuts….I’d be going nuts if I didn’t have internet at the bookstore.

  26. Warren @5 “I’m not sure I’ve read all your DSL Woes threads, where this question may already have been answered, but – asking as someone who’s only ever lived in cities, and knows how few bandwidth providers there can be in cities – if you were to lose all patience with Centurylink, do you have other options? Especially since you live out in the country a bit?”
    No, it’s the same as in cities except that it’s worse.

    I don’t get how people have the idea that there are “lots” of alternatives in more populated areas (like cities).

    I have the option of cable or DSL (which is much slower, which means it’s not exactly an alternative). While I get lots of junk mail for Verizon Fios, I can’t get that service (even though they likely run the lines close by).

    (To be fair, Fios is now an option for some people. And having DSL as a fallback is better than it being the only choice. I won’t mention satellite because that’s like cutting of a limb to save your life.)

  27. In rural parts of the US you tend not to have many options for broadband Internet. You might get DSL, you probably get satellite, but you don’t usually get cable unless you’re within n miles of their station, and if you’re in a hilly area you might not even get cellular.

    My town’s got municipal wireless Internet in addition to private cable and DSL, but we’re not /excessively/ rural here. Don’t know if we’ve got 3G cell here yet.

    Cthulhu have mercy on you if you’re stuck with dial-up over copper phone lines.

  28. Now it’s Sunday and late afternoon and no word here from the Scalzi Compound. Time to cross them off the map and assume they’ve been assimilated by the zombies. Shoot first, no point in asking questions.

    Too bad, too. I always liked Scalzi. Wrote good books, too.

    Dr. Phil

  29. Dr Phil – I guess this means I can talk about the Sekrit Thing he read here. I mean, I’m in Seattle and the zombies won’t get here for a long ti