The People Have Spoken

And I am proud to introduce my new Google+ circle:

Who is in it? Everyone in my contacts whose last name starts with a “B,” of course. Also, those who are bees. Of which at this point admittedly there are not many. But when there are, I am ready.

32 Comments on “The People Have Spoken”

  1. Jim – Indiana – I maintain interests in a wide variety of areas. I am an avid storyteller, specializing in (dark) speculative fiction and webcomics. I am also a professional code wrangler and dabble in amateur photography.

    Ah, but what about those of us who keep bees?

  2. Luther M. Siler – Indiana – The author of SKYLIGHTS, THE BENEVOLENCE ARCHIVES and several other books.

    Crap. My middle name starts with B! And it’s my first name on my profile! That should be good enough.

  3. Do you play Kingdom of Loathing? The current ascension challenge is highly appropriate to this (Bees Hate You – mainly, can’t use/eat/drink items containing the letter ‘b’, equipment with ‘b’ in it hurts you pretty hard for each ‘b’, and monsters with ‘b’ in their name are tougher).

  4. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, who isn't going out like that!

    My middle name has a B in it. Can I join your sweet google+ hipster club? I promise I shant virtually teabag your Red Vines!

  5. I know someone who recently spotted a Craigslist ad offering free bees. I’m given to understand that this is actually a desirable commodity for gardeners; still, I suggested that he should email them asking if he could get one of those free bees. Or that he should write them a very long email proclaiming his urgent need to obtain as many Bs as possible – an email that didn’t otherwise use the letter B (hence the need for the length; it’s not a frequently used letter). And see if the Craigslist spotted the joke (it might be necessary to highlight it by substituting another letter for ‘B’, as in the Monty Python sketch of the man who can’t say the letter ‘C’. Such juvenile responses would have been unkind to the Craigslist poster, and we didn’t do any of them.

  6. Steve Simmons:

    You know my mom reads this blog, right?


    (Also, your mom wants me to tell you she’s better)

  7. The “Pick the Title of My Next Google+ Circle” post struck me as oddly similar to the ever-present 4chan/b “Pick my facebook status” posts. And then keeping with the ‘B’ theme, you picked Bees. I feel like there is something there, but it eludes me.

  8. If you ever do a “Hipsters/Emos/Bastards/Mac Users” circle, I’d like to be added since I’m pretty sure I meet at least one of those criteria. (At least.)

  9. Levi Montgomery – I am an author living and working in the Pacific Northwest region of the United States. See my website at for more.
    Levi Montgomery

    Not too many ways to say this in print and have it sound serious, as opposed to sarcastic, but I’m dead serious:

    “Of which at this point admittedly there are not many.”

    That’s a lovely sentence. That’s going on my Big Corkboard o’ Greatness.

  10. Erbo – Second Life Resident, EVE Online capsuleer, virtual community maven, software engineer, computer geek, SF fan, conservative, cat lover. Also, The Game.

    I am privileged to be among the ranks of “John Scalzi’s Killer B’s.” Thank you. :-)

  11. SherryH – coastal North Carolina, US – Early in 2013, I survived a brain tumor that cost me my eyesight. I'm determined not to let it slow me down. I live with my husband, our two adult sons, and a trio of cats.

    I doubt she has Google+, or has a B in her surname, but I submit for your consideration Ellie the labrador, who ate a beehive full of dead bees and for a week afterward, literally pooped bees:

    Stumbled across the link just today and couldn’t help thinking of this.

Exit mobile version