Lord knows I’m not a fan of Michelle Bachmann, whose politics I would best describe as “opportunistically insane,” nor have I avoided commenting on her crazy, crazy eyes in the past, because, damn, the lady brings the crazy eyes. For all of that, this particular picture of Ms. Bachmann on the cover of Newsweek seems a cheap shot to me. If it had been my magazine, I wouldn’t have used it. I might have chortled when someone suggested it, but then I would have said, yeah, okay, we’ve had our fun. Where’s the real picture? Because I’m not twelve, you see.
For those of you hoping to meet me/stalk me/gaze adoringly into my eyes whilst you savor my every word at Renovation, this year’s Worldcon, here is my current schedule. Note please that it includes one item which will be on the published schedule that I will not be at, and one item that is not on the published schedule that I will be at.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17:
Wed 13:00 – 14:00, A Trip to the Creation Museum, A02 (RSCC) John Scalzi shares photos and stories from his visit to “the very best monument to an enormous load of horseshit that you could possibly ever hope to see.” Hilarity ensues. Notes: This program item was sort of sprung on me, but what the hell. I’ve already warned the convention that they better have someone on hand to help me with the projector, because I know nothing about how to operate one.
Wed 17:00 – 18:00, The Online Community: Fans Love to Hate It A16 (RSCC) It’s a fan place now; the online community can be considered a fannish subject, but why are people still beating it up, when it complements so much of what we do as fans? Panelists: Chris Garcia, Claire Brialey, Teresa Nielsen Hayden, John Scalzi Notes: People are still beating up the online world? That’s adorable.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 18
Thu 10:00 – 11:00, KaffeeKlatsch, KK1 (RSCC)
A conversation with me on whatever folks want to talk about, around a coffee table. Notes: KaffeeKlatsches require one to sign up and the sign ups are first come, first served, so if you want to do this, it’s best if you find the sign up sheet early.
Thu 13:00 – 14:00, Autographing, Hall 2 Autographers: M. J. Locke, Steven Gould, Mary Robinette Kowal, Mary A. Turzillo, Adam-Troy Castro, Walter Jon Williams, John Scalzi, Steve Jackson Notes: Bring books and other objects you wish to have signed. They will be signed! It’s that simple.
Thu 21:00 – 22:00, Pictures or It Didn’t Happen: Photography and Other Fan Art as Arbiters of Shared Experience, A01+6 (RSCC) If a man tapes bacon to his cat and no one can see it, does anyone care? If a fan is drawn in a bikini and the picture is printed, is the speculative experience more real? How photos and illos affect how we share and form our concept of the fannish community, and how that is changing in the digital era. Panelists: Maurine “Mo” Starkey, Ctein, Claire Brialey, John Scalzi Notes: More proof I will be forever defined by Bacon Cat.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 19
Fri 14:00 – 15:00, The Role of the Science Advisor (Dialog), A05 (RSCC) Some SF TV shows and movies have science advisors. What do science advisors do? How much say do they have? Can they prevent mistakes or are they generally ignored? Science advisors tell all (or at least some…) John Scalzi, science advisor for Stargate: Universe and Kevin Grazier, science advisor for Battlestar Galactica and Eureka, discuss. Panelists: Kevin R. Grazier, John Scalzi Notes: I’ve done this panel with Kevin before, and it was fun then; I expect it will be fun now.
Fri 17:00 – 18:00, Seiun Awards: An Introduction to Japanese Science Fiction, A04 (RSCC) Panelists: Takayuki Tatsumi, Hirohide Hirai, Mari Kotani, John Scalzi, Michael F. Flynn Notes: I suspect I am on this panel because I have won a Seiun Award, for my novel The Last Colony. Beyond that fact, I intend to be quiet and let people who actually know something about the subject speak to it. Occasionally I will nod, sagely.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 20
Sat 11:00 – 11:30, Reading: John Scalzi (Reading), A15 (RSCC) Notes: I suspect I will read something new and never before heard by anyone. So, you know, be there.
Sat 13:00 – 15:00, SFWA Meeting, A02 (RSCC) Panelists: Kate Baker (SFWA Office Manager), Bud Sparhawk, Mary Robinette Kowal, Lee Martindale, John Scalzi, Jim Fiscus (SFWA Board Members) Notes: If you are a SFWA member, please plan to attend. We need 30 active or lifetime SFWA members for a quorum. We have the room for two hours but the last two business meetings took an hour, so we’re pretty good at getting you up to speed and taking member questions and comments in an efficient fashion. We’ve got lots to cover so I hope you can make it.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 21
Sun 11:00 – 12:00, Nooks and Crannies of the Business of Writing, A17 (RSCC)
Writers and business professionals discuss some of the odd nooks and crannies of the writing biz, including intellectual property, translation and taxation issues. Panelists: Liz Gorinsky, Liz Zitzow, John Scalzi, Gay Haldeman, Howard M. Rosenblatt Notes: Oh, boy! I get to wear my cranky business dude hat!
Sun 13:00 – 14:00, Chicon 7 – the Next Worldcon, A09 (RSCC)
Enjoying this year’s Worldcon? Learn all about next year’s Worldcon, which will be in Chicago, from Dave McCarty, the chair. Panelists: Dave McCarty, Helen Montgomery, Peggy Rae Sapienza, Jane Frank, John Scalzi, Steven H Silver Notes: YOU WILL BE IN CHICAGO IN 2012. At which I am Toastmaster. And which will be awesome. That is all.
Sun 14:00 – 15:00, What Happened to Stargate Universe?, A03 (RSCC) Stargate Universe distanced itself in many ways from previous versions of the franchise. Why? Was this influenced by its creators’ exposure to SF and SF fandom, and the resulting desire to do something more meaningful? Was it that it was the first post-Battlestar Galactica Stargate series, and that shows tone impacted SGU? Did this contribute to its cancellation? Panelists:John Scalzi, J. Steven York, John Coxon, Inge Heyer Notes:I will not be on this panel, not because I have any objections to the subject of the panel but because there are a number of things about the subject I’m not at liberty to discuss because of contractual issues, etc. So a) I’ll be dead weight on the panel; b) I’ll frustrate people who come to the panel hoping I’ll be able to offer insider knowledge that I will not be able to. I’ve pinged the programming people to let them know; I probably should have done it earlier but lost track of this due to a writing deadline. Anyway, my fault. Sorry, folks.
Sun 15:00, Closing Ceremonies, RSCC C4 Notes: I was asked by Chicon7 head Dave McCarty to be part of the handing-over ceremony, so, hey, I’ll be here to say goodbye to Reno and hello to Chicago!
Where I will be when not at programming: Well, I’ll be at the Hugos, of course, and I imagine I will also spend a fair amount of time in the SFWA suite, hanging out with SFWA members there. There will also be a SFWA table in the dealers area which I will also very likely be spending some time at. And otherwise, you know, I’ll be around, hanging out at parties and visiting the bar and whatnot. I will not be difficult to locate, basically.