Lopsided Cat Establishes His Dominance

Look, it’s not like he has anything against the lamp. But the lamp was where he wanted to nap. The lamp had to go.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

38 replies on “Lopsided Cat Establishes His Dominance”

Through careful study of feline behavior over the past 25 or so years, I can state with confidence that cats recognize 5 states of matter:

1) Things that they can eat
2) Things they can sleep on
3) Things that will pet them
4) Things that are on the floor
5) Things that could be on the floor

Note that they are not mutually exclusive states. I, for instance, am a member of classes two and three, and the way my fur ball looks at me some mornings, possibly one.

Lopsided Cat simply helped the lap transition from state 5 to state 4.

Animals are weird. For some reason, one or more of our three dogs has/ve taken to building a dog fort in the living room, when we’re out at work. When we got home last night, the large Costco pack of paper towels had been dragged out of laundry room onto dog rug in living room, daughter’s D&D back pack was also there, emptied out, and they’d also grabbed a bathmat and thrown it into the mix. If they weren’t all fixed, I’d say that one of them was building a spot to have puppies.

I like that guys style. I plan to do the same thing to the dining room table tomorrow after Thanksgiving dinner.

If cat’s didn’t feel the need to sleep 20 hours a day, they wouldn’t need so many different places to do it. But then on the other hand, do we really want cats awake and alert even half the day? Would we be safe?

@Gilmoure. We call it dog engineering. Ours have a supply of cheap plush pillows with which they periodically build a petting toll booth between the living room and dining room.

Dave Branson@1: Our girl cat, Lucy does this. Not as much as she did as a kitten but she will still knock over glasses of water or anything that looks breakable. Sometimes, she’ll make sure we’re looking first.

Our most memorable feline redecorating moment came years ago at about three in the morning, when the cat knocked over the Christmas tree. That was, of course, the year the tree was adorned largely with handmade decorations, including gingerbread men and strings of popcorn and cranberries. It was awhile before it occurred to us that the cat probably had been chasing a mouse that was snacking on the decorations.

Ours are most fond of boxes – any boxes. It’s one of the funniest things going watching our 20 lb tom trying to fit himself into a shoe box. When we get large boxes, the cats look at it like the postman just brought the holy grail right to their front door.

You know all that stuff in the textbooks about human beings domesticating animals? It is my considered view that an impartial alien, surveying the facts on this particular planet, would conclude that cats have domesticated us…

Cats – an endless supply of craziness. Our newest has decided that sleeping on top of the radio/iPod player in the kitchen is best. Only bad thing is that he also periodically turns on the alarm in the process.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

My cat has a habit of lying in awkward uncomfortable looking places as well. There’s a little corner on one of my windowsills where she has to lie bent double in order to fit, so obviously it’s one of her favourite places to be. Same goes for lying on the cabling for the xbox, stereo system and tv on the top of a cupboard. Or squeezing between the microwave and tv in order to lie on all the cabling there.

Occasionally she deigns to act normally and lie on a bed, but it’s not often.

“The worst part was the very loud noise the lamp made when it fell. Fortunately, Lopsided Cat was able to get back to sleep afterwards.”

I wish this board had a like button. I would like this about a dozen times.

All of my cats have enjoyed sleeping in strange and uncomfortable-looking places. The sink is my second favourite, but the internet has shown me that that’s not so unusual. However, I’ve yet to run across another cat who liked to snuggle up in a cast iron frying pan.

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