You Don’t Have to Be Murderously Jealous of My Awesome Official Redshirts Red Shirt
First, look upon the awesomeness that is the official Redshirts red shirt, replicating as it does the shirt on the cover of my upcoming novel. Yes, I stand proudly in the knowledge that this shirt is the best shirt that has ever existed in this or any other known universe. As if to make that point, second, look upon the John Scalzis from alternate timelines, intent on murdering me! Why? Because they know this shirt is so awesome that THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. One shirt to rule them all and in the darkness bind them! Thus the knife and bat.
Silly alternate universe John Scalzis! It’s too late for that! Because in this timeline, anyone can get an official Redshirts red shirt, because as we all know the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one, or the multiple ones in alternate universes. And how do you get an official Redshirts red shirt? You follow this link to the Tor.Com Redshirts Shopping Guide, which will tell you everything you need to know for the purchase. And while you’re at Tor.Com, you can check out other, various red shirts, and red shirt-related gifts and objects. But just remember, while those are all very nice, the official Redshirts red shirt is awesome. And can be yours.
You’ll have to handle your murderous alternate universe versions of yourself on your own, however. I suggest attack cats. It’s what worked for me.