All I Want For Christmas Are Some Deeply Stoned Cats

Whoa, man. Just, like, wow.

20 Comments on “All I Want For Christmas Are Some Deeply Stoned Cats”

  1. “Ticking away the moments the make up a dull, Fritter waste the hours in an off-hand way. Kicking around in your home town, waiting for something or someone to show you the way.” Ah Pink floyd and Dark Side of the Moon.

    Best trip I ever had was being stoned on some stuff the dock gave me for the flu and listening to Dark Side of the Moon. Time actually almost stopped and I could hear the heartbeat of the Universe. Damn you Jason for mentioning Pink and a double damn to you John for showing stoned cats. But damns to ya both in the best kinda way… ya made my day a lot happier. :D thanks all.

  2. Mine are totally stoned because I didn’t realize these catnip sardines had some specially concentrated cat nip. Whoops.

  3. It’s nice that you have provided a decorated tree for the kitties to roll around under and look up at, and meow, “Oh man…. lookit the colors, man,” like any other self-respecting stoner. (Hope you have a lot of blue and green lights!)

    Quite windy up here in North Seattle. The lights keep blinking; I hope they don’t just up and go out.

    Merry and Happy and much Felicity to all!

  4. “Dude.”




    “LOPPY! DUDE!”


    “DUDE I HAVE HUGE PAWS! Look at the size of my paw! That is ONE HUGE PAW?”


    “Dude, you’re wasted. Also? LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY ohhhhh shiny thing….”

  5. This video must be a violation of the trades description act or something. I’ve seen a cats get truly stoned on ‘nip: it would just lie there, staring into space, drooling into its by-now sodden catnip toy and breathing in the moist air. Those cats are moving, purposefully.

    I’ll leave it to Chang (!= Chang) and the Committee to pass judgment on your decision to feature two cats who aren’t Ghlaghghee in your video, not to mention your apparent allegation that she “spazzed and ran”.

  6. Used to be a cat where I worked (the security guards fed her). A coworker gave her some catnip one day and watched as people gathered wondering if she was having a seizure or something. Coworker stole quietly away…

  7. Hey, I remember when those Pink Floyd albums came out! When I got the Dark Side of the Moon CD it was disconcerting that it didn’t have all those pops and scratches I was used to hearing on the old album, which had been many times mishandled by folk on, ah. people nip. And stuff.

    Is that the Great Ghlagh totally sacked out on the floor under the tree? What a cheap date!

  8. We call these little fishes Kitty Crack at our house. My Brat the Cat goes wild for them, and then wrecks the joint, and then lays about looking stoned for hours. It’s brilliant. Happy Holidays!! :D

  9. Sadly we no longer have cats at our house. I miss them, but since my wife is allergic to them, it’s impossible. The dogs are very sweet and cute, but also MUCH LOUDER at times.

  10. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me

    We also got our cat blitzed on prim nip courtesy of a Yow Banana. He dug that. Then we rolled out the hemp rope that had been steeping in catnip for ages. That cat was high.

  11. Is that regular catnip or the Japanese stuff, a.k.a. silver vine (Actinidia polygama)?

  12. I totally loved Sylvester’s Catnip Experience (please excuse my paraphrasing) I especially loved your special effects. Great. When Syl said, “Weird.” I busted up BIG TIME. You could do an Indy movie for sure. Get someone to back you up, seriously. I could see movie here. Adventures of Sylvester. Something like that. I wish I had the money, cuz I know I would. You have movie director potential young man. Keep pushing on. GET INVESTERS. FIND a MOVIE MOGUL. I wish to hell I was rich enough to be one. All I could ever do is write, and you already have the material anyway.

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