And Now, With the Advent of the New Year, I Can Finally Reveal My Most Recent Secret Project

What is it? Click here to find out.

Note: It’s even better when you hit the “random” link over there. Over and over and over.

And yes, it will be updated. Almost constantly.

49 Comments on “And Now, With the Advent of the New Year, I Can Finally Reveal My Most Recent Secret Project”

  1. As does ‘Jagger Moobs’ for me! And I *really* shrink from trying to imagine the band members & their music.

  2. Love it, when I open it in Chrome. Completely fails under the latest version of IE (yes I know, I’m the rare person that uses it by choice and not technical inability to change).

  3. Interesting — it wasn’t working for me using IE 9, but it does under Chrome — *very* nice! And let me know if I can borrow Asymmetrical Nostrils!!

  4. Giving Dave Barry a run for his money, I think.

  5. My favourite is “Flying Saucers for Everybody!” – that’s a winner. Then again, these are all worthy of the AV Club’s year-end retrospective of awful band names.

  6. Damn you (and your evidently abundant free time), Scalzi! I’ve been tossing out next band names for slightly less time as you have, and crediting you whenever anyone asked what I was on about. Now, everyone is just going to sneer at me with “Oh, you just stole that from that website by that one guy.” Damn you, I say. Fie!

  7. I think you’ll be surprised by how many ACTUAL bands you end up naming because of this. :) Awesome.

    Happy New Year!

  8. BTW – I call dibs on “Cheesecake Coated Silence.” That could be my band name and also describe my teen years. :)

  9. These are some excellent band names, well done. If I find that the world I’m building needs some good musical acts, I know where to go…

  10. Lincoln Continental Breakfast

    Jeopardy, Before and After. “Alex, what get’s six miles per gallon and every hotel offers for free?”

  11. For added fun, copy the band name into the Google window and see where it takes you.

    I got “Bears in East Anglia,” which led me to teddy bear shops.

  12. May I suggest “Cavity Search Engine”, “Beer Batter Muktuk”, and “Post-Modern Armaggedon”?
    And have any of these been linked to a movie contract yet?

  13. Somehow I misread “Chicken Rapture” as “Chicken Rupture.” But that makes a pretty good band name also.

  14. A few years ago on Diggnation, Alex and Kevin were discussing a story about some drug experimenters gave to rats. Somehow the conversation turned to unpleasant side effects, and Kevin opined that the drug may cause the rats’ penises to burn and we’d never know it. Since then, I’ve vowed that one day I’d create a punk band and name it “Burning Penis Rats.”

  15. “Divide By Coke Zero” is a winner in my book.

    For the mathematically inclined, might I suggest “Bacon-Tarski Paradox”.

  16. Have we, your deveot readership, your blessing o use these as actual band names? Or song titles…I can easily see “Bears in East Anglia” as the name of an English fiddle tune.

  17. I think it’s a hint about my lack of a social life that random sent me to “Appalling Cuddle” three times in a row..

    It also brings back memories of album titles for Spinal Tap.

  18. Dad Voice.
    I’ve just got this wonderful image of a whole heap of goth rockers being told to take off the makeup, stop wearing black and get a job or they’ll be grounded for the rest of their lives.

  19. Actually, the Band Name of the Year award goes to my buddies, The Damn Quails, who are a real band (quite up-and-coming in the Red Dirt/Alt-Country world), and no, they didn’t get the name from the politician. But if everyone wants to think they did, well, that’s fine.

  20. shineanthology – Jetse de Vries is a technical specialist for a propulsion company, and used to travel the world for this. Of late, due to the increased time both his story writing and several future editing projects are taking up, he's trying to settle into a desk job by giving both the company’s own specialists and customers training courses. He was part of the Interzone editorial team from March 2004 until September 2008. His non-fiction articles, reviews, essays and interviews have appeared in Interzone, The Fix, New York Review of Science Fiction, Focus, and others. He writes SF since 1999, and had his first story published in November 2003. His stories have appeared in about two dozen publications on both sides of the Atlantic, and include Amityville House of Pancakes, vol. 1, JPPN 2, Nemonymous 4, Northwest Passages: A Cascadian Anthology, DeathGrip: Exit Laughing, HUB Magazine #2, Clarkesworld Magazine, SF Waxes Philosophical, Postscripts 14 and Flurb, amongst others. They're upcoming in the A Mosque Among the Stars anthology (slated for September 2008) and another, yet-to-be-named anthology in 2009. Jetse has a blog at:

    Unfortunately, the Baby Canon here is not quite the Baby Cannon there…

    (The difference one letter makes…;-)

  21. You are a strange and amazing man. If my housemate, who actually owns the house, would let me have a bunch of ferrets, I would totally nickname the Ravenous Mustelids! (Never fear, I would feed them well, but still, that’s just too funny.)

  22. I own a 1967 Camaro and always thought it’d be hilarious to drive around in cop glasses and a mullet wig, so I fully support the name ‘Mullet in a Camaro’. :) There are a lot of better ones though…

  23. I am officially noting that this is my next band name, BEFORE it pops up on the site and someone thinks i stole it

    Ten Pound Baby

    That is the name of my band. We will be on tour soon (well, as soon as I learn to play and instrument, recruit other musicians, and write some songs). We will be supporting our first three albums

    Passing the Giant Cranium

    Poop in the Tub

    Diapers and Sunglasses

    Look for us soon at a venue near you, assuming I ever do any of those things i need to do.

  24. Do you take suggestions? Reading over my fiance’s shoulder the other day I saw this section heading in the chemistry paper he was reading: Loss of Hydrophobicity due to Teflon Creep.

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