How Red Shirts Are Like Bacon

As I am soon to be releasing a book called Redshirts, people are now taking it upon themselves to e-mail me, or tweet me, or send messages via Facebook, G+, etc, any thing that relates to the “red shirt” concept, including pictures, articles, shop links, news about various media, vague references to the idea and so on. In this manner, it is like bacon, in which anything involving bacon on the Internet is immediately forwarded onto me, because clearly I must know.

So this is where I say: Thanks, guys, but you really don’t have to forward me every red shirt-related thing. Because a) I almost certainly already know, b) you’re almost certainly not the first to send it to me and thus my e-mail/Twitter/Facebook/G+ queues already have it in there, c) if you feel obliged to preface your message with “you probably already know this, but” or “this has probably been sent to you a thousand times, but,” please consider what you are actually saying. I know you’re excited and want me to know. Trust me, I know.

Now, if you find something related to Redshirts — you know, my actual book, which was written by me — then sure, send it along. Because I’m a raging ego monster, you see. But at the moment, with the exception of these ginchy t-shirts, the only red shirt-related thing I am associated with is my book. Anything else red shirt-related is unaffiliated to me. And yes, that’s entirely fine. The reason the title of my book is Redshirts in the first place is because it’s an easily recognizable concept. It’s unsurprising other people are exploiting the same concept as well.

So, to repeat: Thanks, but no need to send that stuff on to me. I’m good.

28 Comments on “How Red Shirts Are Like Bacon”

  1. Also, don’t feel you need to leave red shirt-related links in this comment thread either. BECAUSE THAT’S THE SAME THING, Y’ALL.

  2. Laughs evilly as the Giant Bacon Monster decimates a whole squad of red shirts with its cholesterol powered death ray.

  3. I’m just waiting for someone to inform John that they hold the patent on “redshirts”…

  4. All I can think is how my dog must feel when I wave around a tennis ball and then put it away. That, and RedShirtsRedShirtsRedShirtsREDSHIRTS.

  5. I’m waiting for someone to submit a photo of bacon taped to someone wearing a Redshirt….

  6. What’s the connection again between Redshirts and the Red Matter in the newest Star Trek movie?

    I am eager to read your novel.

    I manage — barely — to stay polite when people facebook message me stuff like: “Hey, black holes have strong gravity. And connect to universes where FastForward is still on the air.” Or whatever.

    I honestly don’t know what someone sitting in their underpants wants to lecture me on, say, Molecular Biology, in which I’ve researched, published, and taught. I hope that I’m not quite that annoyingly clueless. Though I have, at times, gone on too long on threads of yours [*blushes, looks away, scrapes tow of shoe on carpet*]

  7. John Scalvi never wears a red shirt. He only wears gold, blue or green shirts.

    At least until TNRG (The Next Redshirt Generation) came along.

  8. and just reading this blog occasionally now has permanently associated YOU with every time I see a redshirt meme. So since you’ve objected to me linking them to you I will just be resigned to commenting/linking on those other memes “Hey, did you know John Scalzi’s got a book titled Redshirts?”

  9. Things are pretty good when you can whine about being too successful and too popular, and ‘Please don’t bother me with your cutesy observations.’

  10. Ah, I’ve been waiting for this post and am filled with evil glee at what you have done to yourself.

  11. I note that your cover features the initials “UU.” Can I repeatedly send you materials on Unitarian Universalism? I’m a member of them, after all.

    #ImKidding #ButIAmAUU #PleaseDontGetTheMallet #OwThatHURTS!

  12. If Red Shirts are like bacon, then is there Red Shirt Vodka and are there Red Shirt inhalers?

    And when I saw the “U U” I thought of Unseen University from Discworld.

  13. Since this seems an appropriate thread in which to post Red Shirt references, in defiance of the last sentence of the post, I recall there being quite a fun one in Graham Duff’s excellent sci-fi spoof series Nebulous. Series 2, episode 4.

  14. Obviously what we need to look for are links to articles about red shirts made of bacon…

  15. I was recently on the front page of my local paper because my dog killed a rabid skunk. I found out how many people read the paper around here (everyone), when I began having conversations about skunks and rabies everywhere I went, and fielding phone calls on the topic. I even had to talk about it when I called my insurance agent to ask a question about the policy. “Are you the Catherine Shaffer with the rabies?” she said. “Why, yes,” I told her. “Yes, I am.” It turns out everyone has a story relating to rabies and/or skunks.

    And through that I had a moment of deep sympathy with you and your bacon situation.

  16. Just pre-ordered the book. Thought you’d want to know because you are, after all, a raging ego monster. (plus it’s due for delivery on my sister’s birthday. which I think is sort of cool, for some unspecific reason)

  17. So you *don’t* want a box of red shirts, brown pants iced sugar cookies. Ah well. They probably wouldn’t ship well anyway.

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