Ask Papa Fuzzy Anything: Intro

Tomorrow (Tuesday, March 27) sees the Mass Market Paperback release of Fuzzy Nation in the US and Canada, and to celebrate, we thought we’d do something a little different. Perhaps this short video will explain:

That’s right, ask questions of Papa Fuzzy himself! How often do you get to ask questions to an alien? Not often! And how frequently does that alien respond with anything other than a particle beam to your center mass? Even less often! So now’s your chance, folks. You ask the questions, we’ll go through them, and Papa Fuzzy will start putting up videos answering the questions starting tomorrow and going through Friday.

What questions can you ask? Anything you like. You can ask him about the book, you can ask him about what it was like to work with me, you can ask him questions you’ve always wanted to know about aliens, you can ask him for the fuzzy alien perspective on current events, you may pose existential conundrums. He’s pretty much up for anything.

Go ahead and leave the questions in the comment thread, and we’ll get started on the answers tomorrow.

76 Comments on “Ask Papa Fuzzy Anything: Intro”

  1. Note:

    The comment thread is ONLY for questions to Papa Fuzzy. Any other sorts of comments will be snipped out in order to help us make it easy to find and answer questions.

  2. Dear Papa Fuzzy:
    1. Do you ever go to the Fuzzy barber for a trim, or perhaps highlights and/or coloring?
    2. How do you plan to spend your millions? Will you travel to other planets? To Earth?

  3. Well, now that I can see the video, I see that you have made it to Earth (at least, I assume John is still on Earth). Any other planets on your intinerary, Papa Fuzzy?

  4. Do you have any suggestions about what the residents of Earth could do to make visits by aliens more enjoyable (for aliens)?
    Thanks!

  5. Dear Papa Fuzzy,

    Would you be willing, as an exceptional cultural and political envoy to Earth, to share some of your cultures musical heritage? Possibly translated into the English Earth dialect of vocal images and modulated into the Homo Sapiens auditory range?

  6. Dear Papa Fuzzy: Vegetables… “cruelty free method of ensuring a well balanced diet” or “what food eats?”

  7. What do you think of Paul and Storm’s Fuzzy Man song?

  8. I see your English has gotten much better since the book, Papa Fuzzy. Have you been taking lessons, or just learning by watching our TV and movies?

    Also, how does the one-gender thing work among your kind? (I may be getting this wrong, I read the hardcover a long time ago, and my memory is a little… fuzzy.)

  9. dear papa fuzzy,
    my friend is kind of a cynical jerk. what is the appropriate fuzzy way to get him to stop being a cynical jerk?

    -James

  10. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    changterhune

    Dear Papa Fuzzy,

    Is this just a cold or allergies and is it possibly your fur?

  11. Papa Fuzzy, tell us about your ride. You know, as in how you came to Earth. Thanks!

  12. Dealing Aces – In Blackjack, an Ace showing can be high or low, and you don't know which it will be until you've seen your whole hand. And that still might not save you.
    dealingaces

    What is your species’ growth rate? What foods do you metabolize best? Describe the socio-economic structure of your people.

  13. Hey Pappa Fuzzy! I have a couple questions for you:

    1. I hear when you first arrived on Earth, you spent some time kickin’ it with Mary Robinette Kowal. How cool is she? I hear she’s pretty cool.

    2. Can you tell us a happy memory of a time you spent with your child, before the events of Fuzzy Nation? An accomplishment of Baby’s you were especially proud of?

    3. Have you met H. Beam Piper’s Little Fuzzy? If not, do you think you’d get along?

  14. Dear Papa Fuzzy,

    How much input did John have into your book “Little Fuzzy”?
    Now that you have a better vocabulary in English, do you have any issues with John’s Fuzzese-English translation?

  15. Hi, Papa Fuzzy! Right now there is a movement by some people on Earth to only eat food that was produced as locally as possible. It’s called reducing the “petroleum cost” of your food. Do you think that is applicable on a galaxy-wide scale, eating only food produced on your planet or nearby planets to reduce the “hyperspace cost” of your food? Do you think there is a moral obligation to do so, or do you think the lifelessness of the vastness of space (and the general renewability of hyperspace) negates the such a moral obligation?

  16. 1. If a FUZZY NATION movie is ever made, who would you like to play you?
    2. LITTLE FUZZY or FUZZY NATION — which one do you prefer?

  17. shaunduke – Shaun Duke is a podcaster, a reviewer, a blogger, and a writer. He is a host on the Hugo-nominated Skiffy and Fanty Show, a blogger at The World in the Satin Bag, a freelance editor at The Duke of Editing, and a co-owner of Young Writers Online. He also co-hosts Totally Pretentious, a movie discussion podcast, with David Annandale. Outside of fandom activities, he is a PhD candidate in English at the University of Florida, where he studies science fiction, postcolonialism, and Caribbean literature.
    shaunduke

    Questions:

    1) I’ve never heard of your stellar rap career, as I am not a rap fan. But I must admit to being intrigued. Would you be willing to put on a brief rendition, with or without the background music? Please?

    2) What is the worst part about having fur?

    3) Which director would you want to make a movie of your life story?

    4) Do you frequent the Stetson & Murple Bar on Lorgle Lane, Nitritionvilleston, Maxleca, 3Z.127AVR2, Alpha Centauri Prime? If so, what is your favorite drink?

  18. Pappa Fuzzy, you and your kin are described several times as cat-like in FUZZY NATION. You don’t look particularly cat-like to me, but all I can see in the video is your head. Now that you are on Earth and have presumably seen a cat or two, do you think you and your relatives can be described as cat-like? If so what particular traits (besides being furry all over) are cat-like, or rather what cat traits do you consider to be Fuzzy-like?

  19. Papa Fuzzy,

    What’s your current position on bacon? Alternatively, what is bacon’s current position on you? Would you allow it to be taped to your fur, and if so, would you permit photography?

  20. Papa fuzzy-did you have any extraplanetary visitors to your planet before the humans? Did any of them arrive by way of a blue box?

  21. Papa Fuzzy,

    How do thermoses keep things both hot AND cold?

  22. Papa Fuzzy, how come you sound a little like the Looseeanna Alligator from The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (minus the accent)? Does Scalzi watch that show?

    What are your favorite Earth foods?

    Who’s cuter, Taylor Lautner or Zach Efron?

  23. Papa,
    What do you think about Superintelligent Badgers? Are they an underestimated enemy or misunderstood lovable weasel?

  24. Two part question: 1) As an alien who has immigrated to this country illegally, do you have any plans to ‘self-deport’? 2) Would a long fence have made a difference?

  25. Papa Fuzzy,
    I’d like to know which ending you preferred, the one in Fuzzy Nation or Little Fuzzy. Do you think Jack will end up as happy in the new version?

  26. Papa Fuzzy,

    You may have heard of the apocryphal account of your species first contact with humankind, as supposedly relayed by the half-mythical Paratime Police from an alternate reality, Little Fuzzy.

    I would like to know your opinion on the comparative fates of Joe DeLise and his alternate reality doppelganger, Leonard Kellogg, both of whom committed the first human-on-Fuzzy murders in their respective timelines. In particular, do you prefer Mr. Kellogg’s remorseful suicide upon the ultimate realization that he did in fact kill a sapient being, or Mr. DeLise’s unrepentant survival for trial? If you prefer that both had felt remorse yet survived, which of the two do you believe met with the less worse outcome in terms of social and personal justice?

    Sincerely,
    Lemuel Gulliver
    Paratemporal Sociology Institute

  27. What was it like watching your child murdered and how did it feel to find those “sons of bitches” and send them off your planet?

  28. Dear Papa Fuzzy:

    1. What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

    2. Shoes! Favorite kind, pair, brand? Or are you more of a socks person? Barefoot is so passé.

    3. If you were a TV personality, would you have your own show? What would it be?

  29. Dear Papa Fuzzy,

    1. Have you ever tried a nice BBQ sauce soak right before bed?

    2. If you did have a 4 digit electronic lock on the cage you sleep in, what combination would you use?

  30. Papa Fuzzy – How do you feel about being called an “alien”, when it’s those weird humans who showed up on your planet and started “colonizing”?

    And what shampoo are you using? Looks like one of the lighter Clairol colors?

  31. Papa Fuzzy,
    Since Jack Holloway introduced your race to human food with the smoked turkey sandwich, has Jack ever broken down and given you some cheese and did it shred your intestines or something equally as horrible like he claimed? Have you tried any other human foods? What is your favorite? Jack Holloway described you as about the size of a cat. have you tried catnip? is there such a thing as Fuzzy-nip?

  32. I see that the paperback of Fuzzy Nation and the ebook versions of the Harry Potter books came out on the same day.

    What sinister alien conspiracy masterminded this?

  33. What is the most difficult concept of your culture to translate into human communication. What is the most difficult human concept for you to understand. Do you shed?

  34. garthspencer – By day I'm a mild-mannered Canadian WASP looking for clerical work. When the night falls and the moon rises, I don my masked crimefighter identity and battle Evil on the Internet.
    Garth Spencer

    Why is there air? Where does dust come from? Will there be fried chicken in outer space? When is a duck? Who put the bomp? How do they put the Caramilk into Caramilk bars? And what happens to Mary Sue?

  35. Papa Fuzzy,

    Why are you and John never in frame at the same time in the videos?

  36. Papa Fuzzy: What do you think of Newt Gingrich’s plan to colonize the Moon? Is such colonization something extraterrestrials like yourself think should be encouraged? If so, should it be limited to the Earth/Moon system, or allowed to expand to the rest of the Solar system, or even beyond?

  37. Papa,

    This one comes from my daughter, Alexis. On your journey to Earth, what was the coolest thing you saw? Any constellations that are your favorite as you made the trip?

  38. Where did you get that southern/cowboy/whatever accent? Who were you listening to when you were learning English? I certainly wasn’t John.

  39. Papa Fuzzy,

    As tree-dwellers, do you have problems with ticks, fleas or their extraterrestrial analogues? If so, have you considered investing in any of Earth’s fine fipronil-based tick creams?

    Sincerely,
    Lemuel Gulliver, VP for Marketing, BASF, ET Sales Division

  40. Hey!
    I guess it is too late to ask Papa Fuzzy a question?!
    If I could ask one question, it would be this: Papa Fuzzy, how do I go about joining your nation?

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