Ask Papa Fuzzy Anything: Genders, Pets, Humans and Wil Wheaton
Posted on March 29, 2012 Posted by John Scalzi 8 Comments
Here we are at Day Three of Ask a Fuzzy!
First, Papa Fuzzy explains how to tell human genders apart, even though fuzzys are a genderless species:
Next, a question about pets, and a shout-out to a friend:
And now we’re talking about whether or not Papa Fuzzy is offended at being called an “alien”:
Finally, Papa Fuzzy gives you details about that it’s like to work with famed actor Wil Wheaton:
Everything wraps up tomorrow, so if you have a question, this is your last chance to get it in!
Papa Fuzzy: What do you think about Furries?
Woo hoo! My question made it in! (And this reminds me to again hope that Wil gets signed for the Redshirts audiobook…)
PS: I’m not sure there could be much more of a difference between the JS “Papa Fuzzy” voice and the WW “Papa Fuzzy” voice! Though the JS Papa Fuzzy definitely is up to speed on his/its/er…. yeah, question 1 today, er… well, whatever: “its” current US pop culture. Apropos of almost nothing, apparently tonight’s Big Bang Theory guest is Leonard Nimoy. So. Maybe Papa Fuzzy will tune in for that…
Actually, I have no question..
I just wanted to let you know that I went into my local bookstore and requested a copy of the book. There were none on the shelves. I went to the girl at the counter and gave her all the information “Sir, we have five in stock” Fourty five minutes later we found all five copies on the “to be stocked on the shelves cart”. I told her she only had four in stock now and had better order more.
Papa Fuzzy,
I look forward to the Papa Fuzzy Dance School for Idiots.
Perfect Fuzzy pet: tree squirrel. Fuzzys should import terrestrial tree squirrels. Come on, you know you want an ecological catastrophe…I mean cute cuddly companions.
Also, can you get your musician friends to loan you a vocoder so you can Doppler shift ****** into the audible range of us hideous humans?
Papa Fuzzy! So good to see you. I’m glad you’re having a good time with John. See you at WorldCon?
Based on a comment from “Sooz” about wanting a transcript for the hard of hearing to ensure those HOH are not left out of the fun, here’s a transcript of “Fuzzy Q Wil Wheaton”:
(Pappa Fuzzy once again in front of the webcam)
Pappa Fuzzy: Time for another question! John! Give it to me!
John: (comes from off camera to read off of the laptop(?) screen) Uh, SamMB asks, “Pappa Fuzzy, what did you think of Wil Wheaton’s voice for you in the audiobook?” (John moves back out.)
Pappa Fuzzy: Well, you know, I’m a big fan of Wil’s. He’s a… he’s a good actor. He’s a good guy, uh, I like what he does on that internet thing. He’s got a lot of twitter followers, I guess. (Pappa Fuzzy moves in close to the webcam and speaks in a softer voice.) Hi, Wil. Love your work. (Moves back out) Uh, he and I spent a lot of time together and, uh, he tried to develop different techniques to sorta capture the je ne sais quoi of… fuzzy. Ya know, not, uh, what you would call, uh, actual, like, uh, rendition exactly, but more of an interpretation and I think that his interpretation was actually pretty good. I mean, it’s not… not the way I would have gone with it but then again, uh, I’m not a professional actor, I’m just… a humble… fuzzy. So, uh, I was pretty happy with what he did, uh, I think that, uh, in the future we’d love to work with him again if we could and, uh, love him on, uh, “Big Bang Theory”. I hope they have him back on that show sometime real soon. I love that show. It’s great. So, Wil! Love ya! Call me!
And the transcript for “Fuzzy Q Genders”:
Pappa Fuzzy: Hey, there! It’s day three of the question and answer period so, uh, let’s go right ahead and get, uh, the next question. So, John, what’s the next question?
John: (comes from off camera to read off of the laptop(?) screen) The next question is from “Happy” and, uh, “Happy” asks, “As a genderless species, uh, how do you think of human…
(Pappa Fuzzy looks like he’s going to bite John’s ear. John pulls back suddenly.)
John: (quietly, in a chiding voice) Stop that. (continuing) What do you think of human genders? Can you… can you even tell us apart?
Pappa Fuzzy: Well, of course I can tell you apart. I mean, uh, gender, you have a lot of gender specific, uh, uh, traits and stuff like that. Well, the more sorta cool (???) things, I s’pose, and, uh, like for example, women do tend to wear longer hair, uh, and the men tend to be idiots on the dance floor so, uh, really, between the two of those, it’s not that hard ta figure out who is who. Also, if I make take a moment here, seriously, dudes, learn how to dance. Y’all are embarrassing the hell out of me. I mean I go out there, and I’m looking at cha and you’re all doin’ that (Pappa Fuzzy begins bouncing up and down while mumbling something unintelligble) Really? What is that? Just gotta learn. It’s not that hard. Two steps forward. Two steps back. Two steps forward. Two steps back. (almost shouting) It’s not rocket science! C’mon! (back to his normal voice) Anyway, yes, I can tell you apart.
The transcript for “Fuzzy Q Pets”:
Pappa Fuzzy: Hey! Let’s have another question. (To John on his left) What’s this one? Who’s this one from?
John: Uh, it’s from, uhhhhh, “Mary Robinette Cole” (sp?)
Pappa Fuzzy: (in excited, loud voice) MARY! Hi, Mary! Love ya! You’re just wonderful. (To John, in a normal voice) She is. She’s just a wonderful woman. I think she’s just… just fantastic. Ya know, I spent some time with her before I came out here and spent time with John. Just… just love her to bits. She’s awesome. Well, anyway, what’s her question.
John: She wants to know do fuzzies ever… keep… pets.
Pappa Fuzzy: No, not really. Ya know, uh, when we live on Zarra 23, there sorta inconvenient cuz we live in trees. Not really a lot of places that you can put a pet, uh, without droppin’ it all the way down to the forest floor and, really, that would just be kinda inconvenient and messy so, generally, we don’t keep’em. That said, here on Earth, uh, been watching your cats and your dogs and your rabbits and your moles and your ocelots and, uh, frankly, uh, seems like a lotta work. Uh, I don’t know if I’d be really up for that and, also, you know, frankly, there’s a size issue. You know, if I got, like, uh, a great dane or something like that, I wouldn’t know what to do with it. I think I’d probably just ride it like a horse. It’s actually kind of a cool idea, don’t cha think? Go! Silver, go! Anyway, so, no, no pets, but, uh, you know, I got enough fur for my… for three or four different pets. So that’s all cool.