What I Did With My Afternoon
Got the #GOPWarOnCaterpillars hashtag to trend worldwide on Twitter.
Context: While discussing whether the GOP was carrying on a general War on Women with recent abortion access legislation in various states, Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus pooh-poohed the idea, saying:
If the Democrats said we had a war on caterpillars and every mainstream media outlet talked about the fact that Republicans have a war on caterpillars, then we’d have problems with caterpillars. It’s a fiction.
Which led to me writing this:
ZOMG THE GOP HAS DECLARED WAR ON CATERPILLARS: http://t.co/6VFUdtln— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 5, 2012
Which led to this:
Which led to this:
I HAVE BEEN DARED TO GET #GOPWarOnCaterpillars TO TREND. WHO IS WITH ME IN THIS RIGHTEOUS QUEST.— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 5, 2012
And the answer was: Apparently lots, because it got up to #3 trending worldwide. That’s wacky.
There are now hundreds of tweets out there with the hashtag, even when you filter out the spambots (who leaped on to it amazingly quickly). Here’s the tag search, if you’re interested. However, for myself, here’s my complete #GOPWarOnCaterpillars Tweet output, all in ALL CAPS for extra emphasis.
FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE CATERPILLARS AND I SAID NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY WERE EATING MY MULBERRY LEAVES
YOU SHALL HAVE MY CHRYSALIS WHEN YOU PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS FROM IT.
BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS: NOT A COINCIDENTAL PAIRING
CATERPILLARS THREATEN AMERICAN FARMERS
CATERPILLARS GET ONLY 78 CENTS FOR EVERY DOLLAR A MOSQUITO LARVA MAKES
ULTRASOUND THE COCOON
ONLY A PARENT BUTTERFLY IS ALLOWED TO DRIVE A CATERPILLAR ACROSS STATE LINES
CATERPILLARS AREN’T REAL CATS. OR PILLARS. WHY TRUST THEIR LIES
CATERPILLARS WILL FORCE YOUR CHILDREN TO READ ABOUT THEIR LIFE CYCLE IN SCHOOL
IF CATERPILLARS ARE SO COMFORTABLE WITH THEMSELVES WHY DO THEY KEEP TRYING TO CHANGE
CATERPILLARS ARE LEPIDOPTERRIBLE
THAT CATERPILLAR SHOULDN’T HAVE WORN THAT CHRYSALIS
BREAKING: SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO ROUNDING UP MONARCH BUTTERFLY CATERPILLARS; CALLS THEM “ANCHOR BABIES”
ALL CATERPILLARS DO IS EAT. WHY CAN’T THEY JUST GET JOBS.
YOU GET SILK BY BOILING CATERPILLARS. THAT’S A HINT
NO ONE CRIED WHEN WE DECLARED WAR ON MAGGOTS
HOW ARE THOSE CATERPILLARS WORKING OUT FOR YOU NOW?
WE ONLY CARE ABOUT THEM WHEN THEY ARE EGGS. WHEN THEY’RE CATERPILLARS, THEY ARE ON THEIR OWN
MAKE NO MISTAKE, TIMMY. CATERPILLARS WILL KILL YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW: http://bit.ly/HyycFO
I HAVE DONE WHAT I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO DO WITH
#GOPWarOnCaterpillars. IT IS UP TO YOU NOW, CITIZENS.
And there you have it.
All of this would be delightfully amusing, except for the fact that, you know, lots of GOP legislators are doing their damnedest to restrict women’s access to abortion. And that’s not especially funny.
Also, as a coda: The Atlantic on the GOP’s actual war on caterpillars. Mr. Priebus may yet regret the comparison.