Happy Mother’s Day, 2012
Posted on May 13, 2012 Posted by John Scalzi 18 Comments
Look, it’s a picture of me, my mother, my sister Heather and my niece Ashley, from (I would guess) 1986 or so, and probably from around Mother’s Day. Today, everyone else in this picture has equal or greater amounts of hair except for me. Seems horribly unfair.
In any event, seems like a good picture to air again on Mother’s Day. If you’re a mom, I hope you’re having a good day. If you’re not a mom, it’s not a bad day so give a little appreciation to your mom, if she’s about and around.
I’ve been led to believe that the male pattern baldness gene is handed down maternally. Just saying.
That’s a great picture of all of you. Heather looks quite a bit like Kate Bush in this, too.
I’m a 65 year old childless woman. I grew up in a dysfunctional family where the environment involved alcohol, poverty, mental illness, paranoia resulting in non family members being distrusted & designated OPs (aka “other people”) & eventually a sibling selling & using drugs. My last relative died in 2002–though I may have 2nd or 3rd cousins somewhere or other. I have no idea where my brother died, from what, or where he is buried–although I have guesses which I hope are wrong. I only know he’s dead because I ran into a death notice on the web 3-4 years after he died. I haven’t been able to get more information because I’m not his parent or his spouse.
I dread every Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, anniversary of family birthdays, Thanksgiving, Valentines Days, etc because of the assumptions that well-meaning people make about me & others like me. “Have a good Mother’s Day!” “Did you and your family have a nice Thanksgiving/Christmas?” “What did you do for your birthday?”
I’m not saying people shouldn’t celebrate these reasons for their joy. Good on them that they can & that they do! The world needs every bit of heartfelt love & joy it can get.! Nor am I angry when people innocently hope that I have a good “whatever day”. 99 per cent of the time I just smile & thank them for well-wishing me. After all, mostly their words come from a kind heart or, at wrost, an innocent reflexive habit. On rare occasions if the relationship between myself and the well-wisher calls for it, I clue them in on my semi-unique situation.
I just wish I could be far from civilization, including TV & the internet, starting the week before a holiday until a week after it. Maybe we need a national holiday for the minority of us who can’t celebrate the other holidays without pain and/or regret. Guess it will never happen, “family values” being the end-all, be-all for so many.
Any-who… Have a good mother’s day –and all the other days–when & where appropriate!!!
First time I ever gave a Mother’s Day present triggered by a scratch-and-sniff mass mailing. My wife like the smell of “White Diamonds.” She thanked me for the kit of perfume, creams, etcetera, and now smells like (living) Elizabeth Taylor. I did once publish a scratch-and-sniff poem which, for example, rhymed [thyme] with [lime].
I think SherryT needs a virtual hug. {HUG} There… better now?
To KenS:
Much! You’re very kind to write that.
And a virtual hug back to you, regardless of your situation!
We had a brunch for my step daughter who is temperarily childless due to her children being spread out over the lower 48. It was wonderful…we shared the very silly family stories that are part of the “holiday” and it made the fact that my mothers has been gone for nearly 50 years quite bearable. All the best for everyone who visits online…
Mom who?
I realized I was pregnant on Mother’s Day, and this day has been special ever since. My son’s 17 now. He’s social, outgoing, friendly, warm, fair-minded, and apparently universally liked by the parents of all genders of friends. If that’s my report card, I can rest easy and enjoy this day…
…however, I opened his report card.
I am reminding myself that those are his grades for school, and not mine for parenthood. But maybe that does reflect my report card. It’s very much a mixed day, despite blue skies.
@SherryT: Happy Survivor’s Day! (Because it sounds like EVERY day is Survivor’s Day for you — and way to go!)
@PolkaDot: As a former teacher, I can say that there are many parents of kids who get straight A’s who would trade places with you. Enjoy your son for what he is, and recognize that perhaps his gifts lie in a non-academic direction. He’s practically an adult, and you aren’t responsible for his choices, good or ill. Give him a big hug, even if you don’t think he deserves it, because you do.
Everyone has mother figures in their lives, whether they be genetically related or not. I’m adopted and don’t know my birth mother and my adoptive mother died 18 years ago. But I still have a mother-in-law and my dad remarried so I have a step-mom and I have a daughter. I’ve also had relationships with other older women over the years who have sometimes been surrogate mothers to me. Today, I gave a childless-by-choice friend a stuffed bunny (wearing chainmail) and told her Happy Bunny Mother’s day. (She has two rabbits and three cats and is dubbed by my daughter as her auntie.) She appreciated it! To all those who have acted in some way as a mother –then in my book, this is your day, too!
I’ve had a pretty good Mother’s Day. The weather was gorgeous. I spent the day doing nothing, which was wonderful. Now to tuck in the kids, give them my love and ready myself for reality again.
A good mother’s day here, too. I found a local fiber festival and spent a few hours (and some money) on various fibery goodnesses. When I got back, my younger son gave me a handmade card with a big, crooked black heart that said “Roses are red/ Violets are blue/ I hate Justin Bieber, but I love you. Laughter and hugging followed.
I played Mexican Train with Mom and my wife last night until 1 am. Then played again this afternoon after church and lunch (yes, I bought lunch !). I am Train’d out !
I remember when this was taken, Heather had a mouthful of braces and wouldn’t smile. I am so glad that picture was posted. I’ve come a long way! Love you, Mom
I feel kind of bad for both SherryT and PolkaDot and want to give them both virtual hugs. SherryT, well, because. And PolkaDot: I don’t want to go into details in public, but I feel like I understand what you’re dealing with from both sides. (I don’t have children, but other family members do and are wrestling with some of the same issues.)
I also feel a little bad because in one sense I didn’t do anything special for Mother’s Day yesterday. My excuse is that we were having a party with my mother and other family members to celebrate my college graduation. So in a sense I did get my mother a present; a degree 25 years late counts, right?
Thanks, Stainles! And to PolkaDot, years from now & in the great scheme of things, your love for your son will count tons more than a slip of paper. You & your son teamed up to make him into a “social, outgoing, friendly, warm, fair-minded, and apparently universally liked…” young man.
Lots of parents, so far as I know, can’t quite manage all that. Happy Mother’s Day!
Bruni could have written his column (Muddling Through Mother’s Day) here.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/opinion/sunday/bruni-muddling-through-mothers-day.html?_r=1&emc=tnt&tntemail0=y