Hey, dudes: If you spend any real time thinking about who's an "Alpha Male" and who is not, YOU ARE NOT ONE. #FYI

—
John Scalzi (@scalzi) August 17, 2012

Mind you, for many of the people for whom the Greek Alphabet gradation of social hierarchy appears important, the working definition of “Alpha Male” seems to work out to “sociopathic assbag.” So maybe you don’t want to be one of those, either.

What is best in life? TO MALLET THE TROLLS, SEE THEM DELETED BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR BROS. #ConanTheModerator

—
John Scalzi (@scalzi) August 17, 2012

It’s funny because it’s true! Mind you, it’s also sad because it has to be true. But isn’t that life on the Internet for you.