Portrait of the Artist as a Dude on Deadline
Posted on October 1, 2012 Posted by John Scalzi 39 Comments
It’s not pretty.
I’m supposed to have everything wrapped up in the next week, so don’t expect deep thought from me here this week. Pretty much all my brain cycles are going to the book.
Yeah, you’re looking a little rough there. Good luck in the final stretch. Break a leg!
No. No. You look great. ::slowly backs away:: Beautiful. Keep up the good work. ::runs into the woods to hide in a bear den::
Cut the red one.
http://www.hollywood-elsewhere.com/images/column/101008/hurtlocker.jpg
Hey, why did you use that pic of me I sent you!
Oh, sorry. (I wish – I’m an easy 40 kilos heavier ;-) But I look exactly like that right now. Except you write art, I write corporate presentations – I’ve just been nicely told that I’ll have to actually get a shave and a haircut before giving this one.
Good luck. Can’t wait to read the end product.
Meh, I’ve seen worse. ;) Seriously though, even if all your brain function is going to the book, try to remember food. And maybe some vitamins… and sunshine at least for a few minutes.
I goes with the writer thing I think… You look a lot like this guy.
I hope you don’t catch a serious earworm – that’d kill a lot of brain cycles.
Vicious, cruel host that you are, you’d probably share it with all of us in an effort to dislodge it. We’d have to retaliate by posting ours. Then brains would turn to mush under the combined assault of that many different earworms. Mass chaos in the streets! Now see what you’ve done…!
I want a different surgeon!
The goodness of the book will be inversely proportional to the fried-ness of your look here, right?
That must be the last view a zombie has right before you double tap.
Don’t overdo it! Better miss the deadline than botching a good job!
“Can’t stop. Fan will eat me.”
“Artist”?
Isn’t that assuming much?
“The goodness of the book will be inversely proportional to the fried-ness of your look here, right?”
Actually, that’d make it a rather craptastic tome. Should be directly proportional, methinks.
And whatever else your body has left is going towards epic beard growth. Keep it up and see if you can match Rothfuss the next time you two guys meet.
New author photo for dust jackets?
BTW, I thought only Obama was allowed to be photographed with a halo above/behind his head (him and Harry Reid).
Teasing again
it was pretty clear from the Romney article that there was not much depth going on already, now we understand why ;-)
Your picture just reminded me to schedule a dentist appointment. Keep up the great writing!
Historically, he who tried
To meet the deadline
Usually died.
Now the term has turned in thrust
He who misses
Bites the dust.
(Thanks to Maureen Gengler, FSPA, who contributed that little ditty to a literary magazine I edited in college. It’s been a permanent part of my mental furniture since 1980…)
Looks like a Monty Python halo there. COOL!
“‘Artist?’ Isn’t that assuming much?”
One can easily identify both artists and assholes by examining what they produce.
Coming Due – Respect the Language.
You look like the star of a critically-acclaimed drama.
“Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I write in a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop typing words? A web presence big enough that it could be listed on Alexa goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don’t know who you’re talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in the blogosphere, Krissy. I AM the blogosphere! A guy opens a book and gets blown away and you think that of me? No. I am the one who writes!”
It looks like the first thing one sees after the anesthesia wears off. Dr Scalzi, where’s your surgical mask?
just remember to eat, ok?
“I will ask you one more time, and carefully consider the consequences of your answer. Is it safe?”
eBbr in Salt Lake: You’re right. That’s what I get for posting Before Coffee.
It has potential for “Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded; Part Deux.”
Oh you poor thing…
John, I’ll leave you alone for now, because I can see your work/sanity equilibrium is delicate, but if anyone else would like to take a similar picture of themselves holding a (funny) sign explaining how they got themselves into this fix, I am working on building a Writer Shaming tumblr, similar to Dog Shaming. Details here: http://www.catherineshaffer.com/index.php/2012/09/04/bad-writer-no-biscuit-2/
We’ve found that it really helps to hand the writing materials to a close family member or friend, because they tend to have better insight into our self-defeating behaviors, failings, whatever than we ourselves do, and come up with wittier captions.
(I hope it’s okay for me to mention this here. Thanks!)
It’s a Fuzzy!!!
Look at your author, now back to me, now back at your author, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in the Hugo Losers Party with the author your author could smell like. What’s in your hand?, now back at me. It’s a Kindle with manuscripts of that series you love. Look again, the manuscripts are now audio books, narrated by Wil from-the-future-don’t-trust-the-hat Wheaton. Anything is possible when your author smells like Old Con Party Funk. I have a halo.
Disclaimer – I have no idea what old con party funk smells like, nor if our host has ever worn that fragrance. I blame it all on Gaiman.
Someone mentioned surgery.
I don’t know. If I awoke from surgery and saw the face in that photo I’d guess one of three things:
1) I’d now set off the metal detector at airports.
2) My G.I. tract entrance was now sewn to its exit.
3) I was in Hell.
That’s pretty rough looking….I’d just like to say for all of us though, that if that is what it takes to get us another cool book, I guess we can live with it. Apologies to your wife, of course, but art comes at a price and we want a new book, so…..
“No Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!”
Weren’t the Stanley Cup playoffs like months ago?
Seriously, is that ritualistic growth? Cause if it’s no-time-for-grooming growth, I’m impressed. I can’t get nearly that much before the itching gets to me.
Who am i kidding. I couldn’t get that much in the time since the Hugos. >.>
I have been reading several author blogs and I noticed that many writers say one of the hardest parts of being a writer is managing your time. Since you don’t have a boss and you basically work alone.
does anyone know if John has blogged about how he organizes his writing/working time? if so, do you remember the name of the blog entry so I can find it?
Was there a deadline for this portrait? Because this is a pretty deep post.