Today’s Public Brag on My Kid

Here’s Athena with the certificate she got for acing the Ohio Achievement Assessment test this year. I’m delighted to see my kid upholding the Scalzi family tradition of blowing the doors off standardized tests. Remember, kids — Standardized tests: Easy. Comedy: Hard.

48 Comments on “Today’s Public Brag on My Kid”

  1. Oh she’s like my friend Ian who blew the doors of the *final* for Intro to Film so solidly that he precluded anyone else from getting an ‘A’ on the final.
    Congrats Athena, apparently living up to your name.

  2. Mr Scalzi, I think that every now and then, parents should remind their children that life does not always consist of standardized tests. Things Happen!

  3. Good on yer!

    What’s an “exempted village”?

    @OldBrownSquirrel: she’s clearly seen one of those certificates before, she’s even holding it by the edges! :P

  4. Some people are “test sophisticated” and some are not. Both kinds of people can do well in life. My challenges as a teacher include reaching people who under-achieve on exams, but bring other strengths into the classroom. Me, my wife, and my son are all “test sophisticates” who know how to, for example, model the test-maker well enough as to give the answer that we think that person thinks is correct, rather than the answer that we know is correct. I suspect that you, Kristine, and Athena are all “test sophisticates.” I share your pride in parenthood well done, and childhood accomplished to high standards.

  5. Kudos to you Athena! You’re made your parents super proud of you. Keep up the good work … it will serve you well in the future. And God bless you and your family!

  6. Congratulations, Athena. Life is more than standardized tests, but they are a part of it, and doing well on them will be good for you.

  7. Cute & brainy — where were girls like this when I was her age? No complaint, mind you, as I married a blonde Valkyrie who also happens to be brilliant. But I had to wait a LONG time to find her. And very much worth it.
    Congratulations, Athena! Try not to outshine your old dad — at least until he’s too senile to be bothered by it. (Some day, John, you will overhear someone say “See that guy over there? He’s Athena Scalzi’s father! Do you think he could get us her autograph?”)
    I know what Jonathan means by “test sophisticates”. Standardized tests were my thing as well. In elementary school, I once had to retake the California Achievement Tests sitting in a big room as the only student there while being watched like a hawk by CTB proctors sent to figure out how I cheated on it the first time. After the second test, they had to admit I hadn’t cheated. My principal grinned like a Cheshire Cat for WEEKS after that one!
    Sometimes that fails you at the worst possible moment, however. After a top 2% score in the SAT, I had a dismal showing in the National Merit Scholarship tests. I’m not sure to this day if I clutched or if the National Merit test zeroed in on a weakness not revealed by the PSAT and SAT.

  8. Another fine achievement in a lifetime of (I hope) many. Congratulations, young lady!

    I understand the traditional reward for knocking standadrised test scores out of the park is to be allowed to eat a full jar of the frosting of your choice. Or am I confused? Maybe standardised test knockage-outage is when you get to buy all the books you want next time you go to the bookshop. Beshrew me, I can’t remember. Maybe it was both …

  9. Dear Future:  Hope you’re ready, because Athena is coming for you at the speed of wit.
        *    *    *
    Congratulations, Athena!  May you continue to upset standards and expectations by blowing them away.

  10. Congratulations to Athena!

    In the future will it mean as much when your printer on your Home Education Bot spits out your trophies. Even better, you could have actual Trophies from the PS7. I got the bronze trophy for correctly spelling all the words on List 7QAlpha. And the trophy looks like an echidna metatarsal, cause both of those were on the list.

  11. All she needs to do now is tape a pig product to a family pet and she’ll be world famous. ;)

  12. Congratulations, Athena. Good work!
    And congratulations to you, John, and Krissy for providing a stimulating family environment in which Athena can grow and fully develop her potential.
    I’m happy to see your family flower so beautifully!

  13. Go girl! Keep up the good work. If you can ace the standardized tests, you can chalk up one less thing to worry about in life. I have had several brilliant friends who can’t take a test to save their soul. I am 70 years old and have never really learned to spell (if it wasn’t for the dictionary and then spell checkers I probably would never have been able to keep a job), yet I can pick the correctly spelled word out of a lineup every time. I am a very blessed standardized test star.

  14. I always looked forward to the standardized tests. They were so much easier than, say, staying awake while reading my history book, scoring 100% on my regular math lesson, or writing one of the essays my mother demanded. I felt like test days were vacations from being taught at home!

  15. “Cute & brainy — where were girls like this when I was her age?” They were there, but were being shamed into hiding the brainy part. Thanks goodness that being brainy is slowly having its stigmatic aspect lessened.

  16. Yay, Athena! I’d like to madly wave the Official Whatever Accomplishment Flag in her honor.

  17. Intelligent AND Beautiful –but you don’t need the shotgun, since, as I recall, you have already mentioned she is also quite adept at archery? A triple threat! :D

  18. What strikes me about this picture is how Athena grows more and more to look like her mom. And no, that is not a bad thing at all, at all.

  19. I assume it’s the photo resolution, and the certificate doesn’t really say “barely recognizes”.

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