Oh SNAP
Posted on October 27, 2012 Posted by John Scalzi 30 Comments
Scott: Will you tease @scalzi? Me: I'll do my best. pic.twitter.com/Q5zcylb9
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) October 27, 2012
@wilw THAT'S IT. The next audiobook you narrate for me, I'm writing about how audiobook narrators SMELL OF ASS, especially ONES NAMED WIL.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) October 27, 2012
Don’t think I WON’T, man.
Maybe you can write a book poking fun at and subverting the Star Trek space-opera sci-fi tropes, and have one of the characters be a brilliant-yet-cocky teenager who gets eaten by ice worms, or struck down by an infectious disease that does horrible things to their body before they die.
(“What is the secret to great comedy?” “I dunno, what is the sec…” “TIMING!”)
So, he smells like coffee?
What’s better than an author-signed book? THIS author-signed book!
So when will we be seeing this up for sale on ebay? Purely for charity, y’know.
I bet your signature looks entirely different when you sign checks. Show us THAT one. In high-res. Just, you know, to satisfy our curiosity.
“Admire my famous signature?” Ego, much?
That image is so full of awesome!
Do audio book narrators really smell of ass? I never knew that. I know you wouldn’t lie to us. Wow.
Brian raises a good point, John. You do seem somewhat preoccupied with the aroma posterior of late.
Bruce Diamond:
It was a joke.
Isn’t that that guy from Big Bang Theory?
My link didn’t work in above comment: http://wilwheaton.net/2012/10/in-which-the-lamest-excuse-in-the-history-of-lame-excuses-is-made/
I figured it was a joke. Mine was meant so, too. My apologies for the meaning being lost in translation.
John,
I don’t know where to ask this, but what happened to all the comments on “Fan Letter”? I hadn’t read them all and was going to finish reading them, and now they’re gone.
Did you actually click through to the article? They’re still there.
@ redheadedfemme
They’re still there. Possibly they’re not loading in your browser. Try clearing your browser’s cache, then closing it, reopening it and going back to the page. Also, Scalzi’s email can be found in Contact Information under Administrivia on the site’s right-hand sidebar.
redheadedfemme, I don’t know if this was your issue, but I was momentarily thrown by the fact that the “xxx comments” link vanishes when John closes comments on the thread. You can still see the whole thread if you click on the title of the article (which is what John means by “click through to the article.”
Unless a comment thread is closed, I only use the title link when I’m sharing it elsewhere. Luckily for me, I had shared that one just a day or so ago, so I figured it out pretty quickly.
I’m just wondering which signature will be remembered in 100 years and which wont. The jokes on you Wheaton!
Wheaton’s signature is already remembered more than three hundred years from now. Booyah!
@Scott: The jealousy. It burns!
So… audiobook narrators smell like ass?
@Gulliver..No! Wesley Crusher’s signature is remembered 300 years from now, They don’t know Wil Wheaton from Creme of Wheat!……. bazinga!
This is how wars begin.
It’s true. This is why audiobooks have no scent track.
Well, Steven, it’s ONE reason.
Avenging yourself on an audiobook narrator can be done more subtly …
He opened the door, and found nothing but a pile of rubber baby buggy bumpers, all that remained of the sixth sheikh, who before his sixth sheep became sick, had sold sea shells down by the seashore, to Theophilus Thistledown, the successful thistle sifter. Through the seal of the sixth sheep’s slick (now sick) wool, Theophilus had sifted sieves of unsifted thistles …oh, how he missed the sheikh and Theophilus. In his grief he could only thrust his fists against the posts ….
And so The Lonesome Death of Sparks McGee was born.
John Barnes: As if making poor Mr YouTube “will read anything for money” read ‘Shadow War of the Night Dragons’ wasn’t abuse of audio readers enough already?
Hm. There’s an angle. John Scalzi, we demanded you finish that book. You refused on humanitarian grounds. NOW YOU MUST.
Nothing else could punish the Wheaton as it so richly deserves. Oh, no.
Yes on one, no on two.
@ George William Herbert
If Scalzi completes Shadow War of the Night Dragons he’ll be reduced to a soulless burnt-out shell of a once-skilled author, forever doomed to scribble the same drivel over and over like a literary Daedalus whittling away endless xoana.
@John Barnes: My tongue is trés tired and totally tangled just from silently subvocalizing that soliloquy.
(However, if that is your notion of subtle, remind me to be elsewhere when someone inspires you to seek revenge of the blatant sort.)
@John Scalzi: Cripes. First you call out the taste buds, now you’re trying to drag the olfactory organs into this fracas. Forgive me for misquoting a public service message by the Animaniacs, but I strongly urge you:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEGET ANOTHER SIMILEThank you.