Thus Begins the Deflabination

This morning my scale tells me I have achieved 180 pounds, which is not a positive development for a relatively sedentary middle-aged man of modest physical stature. I have lots of fine excuses for this┬ábut in the end the real reason is I’m eating too much and not exercising enough, and if you eat too much and don’t exercise enough, then surprise, you put on weight. Aside from the unhealthy physical aspects of being out of shape, I’m also somewhat unhappy at looking like I’ve swallowed a bowling ball.

So: Today I start deflabinating, through a combination of keeping track of what I shove into my gob, and also doing some light exercise. I know this works because I’ve done it before, and had good results with it, including keeping much of the weight off until the last few months. The key, at least for me, is to be realistic about it and to make it a long-term plan: I won’t try to drop fifteen pounds in a month, but rather over three or four months; likewise, I won’t try running a half-marathon this week, but I probably will, you know, do some more walking than I have been doing recently. And so on.

(And yes, I know it’s now officially the holidays, with its attendant orgies of food. I intend to eat a ton of food Christmas week and not feel guilty about it, and the rest of the time keep track of the quantity and quality of food I’m ingesting. Again: long term plan.)

One thing I’m thinking of doing differently than the last time, when I focused primarily on weight loss, is also using this time of focused effort on my body as an opportunity to tone up a bit. This is specifically with the regard to my upper body, which is beginning to take on what I consider a rather depressing “scrawny yet with a belly” look to it. I don’t mind being a middle-aged dude (and there’s nothing I could do about it if I did, thanks very much, unidirectional vector of time), but I’d like to be a reasonably fit middle-aged dude who is okay with who he sees in the mirror. I’m unlikely to ‘roid out about this — I’m too lazy to get truly ripped, and anyway my current body issue neuroses don’t require such a drastic step — but I will be looking into useful and sustainable ways to incorporate that sort of exercise into my current plan for fitness.

I mention all this to you folks mostly because me saying it out loud is a useful way of making it concrete in my own head. Don’t worry, I won’t be subjecting you to shirtless pictures of myself six months from now or anything like that. I may let you know, in a more understated way, if I hit my weight and fitness goals, however. We’ll take it as it comes.

In the meantime, breakfast today? A big damn Granny Smith apple. This is not a bad way to start.

A Very Scalzi Christmas

I’ve been known, during the holiday season, to write up a holiday-themed piece or two for the amusement of those who visit the site. This year I’m officially giving these pieces a permanent home of their own. Henceforth, this page will house links to the various holiday bits I’ve written over the years. When I write new ones, they’ll be linked to from here as well. It’s all your Scalzi holiday festiveness, in one place! It’s a veritable holiday fruitcake of fun.

Here are the pieces by the year they were originally written.


The Ten Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time: From the Algonquin Round Table Christmas to Christmas With the Nuge, these are the specials that weren’t so special.

Sarah’s Sister: A holiday story written for the expressed purpose of making my mother-in-law cry. It worked. You have been warned.

Jackie Jones and Melrose Mandy: A long holiday poem that asks whether getting what we think we want for Christmas is really what we want after all.


Interview With the Nativity Innkeeper: The man behind the manger speaks.

Interview With the Christmas Bunny: Santa’s got some competition.


8 Things You Didn’t Know About Your Favorite Holiday Music: The “true” secrets behind such seasonal hits as “The Little Drummer Boy” and “Feliz Navidad,” among several others. You’ll learn things here you can’t learn anywhere else!

Enjoy, and happy holidays.