Jim C. Hines Strikes a Pose for Charity and Ropes Me In

Some of you may remember a few months ago, when author Jim C. Hines took the Internet by storm by using his own body to point out the absurdity of women’s poses on fantasy book covers. Stunned by the popularity of his post, Jim is now using his posing abilities for good, with a charity drive to raise money for the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation, which works to research this debilitating disease, which nearly always affects young women.

Basically, what he’s doing is asking people to donate money to the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation, and when he hits specific donation markers, he’ll do a new pose. And here’s the kicker for Whatever readers: At both the $1,000 and $2,500 markers, Jim will do a pose-off with me. That’s right, if you’ve ever had a dream of seeing me attempt the contortions of women on fantasy covers, this is your (almost certainly only) chance.

Here are all the details. I’m not going to lie to you, folks: If we don’t hit at least that $1,000 marker by the end of the day, I’m going to be severely disappointed. I’m already doing stretches.

Update: 2:09pm: $1,000 goal reached! Who dares to go for $2,500?

30 Comments on “Jim C. Hines Strikes a Pose for Charity and Ropes Me In”

  1. I am tempted to try and find your books and do the poses on he covers. I’m even wearing a Red Shirt today, making that one a total shoe-in. :-)

  2. I want to see a gallery of women striking poses to match those of men on the covers of urban fantasy novels.

    Oh, this isn’t one of those “waaaaa, men are depicted just as badly as women” posts. No, here’s the thing: I expect the results to be *awesome*, and I want publishers to notice. I want some evidence we can hold up and say “See? See? You could sell this!”

  3. To be fair, in the picture, the woman appears to be floating/flying. Note: That only eliminates the complaint of leg cramps, the rest is still purely ridiculous.

  4. I’ve done my part. I’d vote for a recreation of the latest Bujold novel, which is thankfully on the back of my book rather than the front.

  5. @cythraulybryd: You might enjoy this (I believe the link is correct. I can’t confirm it, as I’m at work, but I checked it this morning from home) http://genrereviews.livejournal.com/371367.html. The conclusion was that a woman doing a male pose could be both badass and sexy and a woman doing the female pose would first need extensive spinal surgery.

    To readers of this blog, this probably qualifies as the least surprising thing ever.

  6. @vorlord Which book is that? ‘Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance’ has a very generic standard-SF city with standard-SF aircar on its cover.

  7. @vorlord: Never mind, I found the back cover. Forget the pose, I want to know how she’s not sliding off the couch. Maybe it’s a very hot day and she’s stuck to the leather?

  8. Certainly there are absurd book covers. On the other hand, this particular Ringo cover actually fairly accurately depicts a no kidding scene in the book. A really important scene that occurs at a Con.

    Nice Charity.

  9. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, now with more Klebin 3000

    Oh, man! Scalzi embarrassment porn? AND I get to donate to a good cause! Count me in!

  10. One of the photographers at a Kyle Freaking Cassidy workshop was talking with me about doing a photo series of me attempting to do poses from comic covers.

    However, Scalzi sweatpants posing is 1000% more hilarious.

  11. @cythraulybryd: Amazing idea! The same feeling’s been floating in my head unarticulated for a little under a decade now!

    As a writer who prefers to write non-sexualized female protagonists, I always worried a company would get a hold of my manuscript and need to “sexy up” the leading lady. A bit nerve-wracking considering pretty much every female protagonist I’ve written prefers full body covering too.

    I’d certainly still buy books if the inaccurate anatomy were dropped. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of a single book I’ve bought in the last three years that has featured inaccurate anatomy cover art.

    PUBLISHERS: You can do this! And you should!

  12. Congratulations, even if you and Jim H. didn’t raise a dime(I know you will do MUCH better) you have raised awareness. I had never heard of Aicardi Syndrome until now. Thank you for that.

  13. Also, I wonder if this is in any way connected with your recent resolution to “deflabinate”. Just how much Scazli should we expect to see? I’m, uh, asking for a friend.

  14. Public Service Announcement: Jim Hines’ most recent book, Libiromancer, is flipping awesome. Do yourself a favor, and pick it up.

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