Dear Internets: My Wife Has Made Dessert for Christmas Eve Dinner

Two types of pie, three types of muffins. The deliciousness quotient is off the charts, people. Bet you can’t wait for dessert!

Oh, wait. Right, you won’t be there. Well, don’t worry, I will have a little bit of each and give you a first-hand report. Yes, it will be an extreme caloric sacrifice on part. But damn it, you deserve no less.

No, no. Don’t thank me. This is just the sort of selfless thing I do. Just think of me, kindly, as I set to my task.

33 Comments on “Dear Internets: My Wife Has Made Dessert for Christmas Eve Dinner”

  1. Enjoy it for me! I have sugar problems, so if I things you bad for me tonight or tomorrow I will just say it is John Scalzi’s fault as they roll me into the ER!

  2. Come back with your palate or on it!
    Noticing the nice orderly kitchen, precisely as it should be. Is there perhaps a chaotic boundary where the bubble of you office’s entropy collides with the kitchen’s tidiness…a messiopause, if you will?

  3. I swear I can *smell* those pies and muffins! They look delicious… Krissy obviously adds ‘superb cook’ to her list of qualities.

  4. Did she make more muffins than appear in the picture? If not, I’m curious about why there are 24 of one type of muffin but only 4 of another.

  5. Pah! Until there is lane cake, there is no proper Christmas dessert. Oh, wait, you said they’re for Christmas Eve. That’s okay, then.

  6. Right up there with you and your wife (with not nearly so pretty a kitchen). Made so far: plain chocolate fudge, Hello Dollie Cookies, Gingersnaps (they failed so we ate the evidence), Maple Walnut Fudge, and chocolate chip cookies. Still to come ‘Not the end of the World’ Mayan fudge, Peppermint fudge, orange cream fudge, Chai tea sugar cookies. Whew. Exhausted. Maybe only half that will get done. It’s all good.

  7. Looks wonderful.
    I’m about halfway done with my culinary tasks for the day. 2 types of bread dough made and I still need to make the cinnamon rolls for tomorrow. Off to the store to buy more eggs, butter and sugar!

  8. S/on part/on my part

    Always a proofreader, what can I say.

    I deserve pie! ;)

    Gobbless us every one! :)

  9. I’m not as jealous as I might be, because my wife has just made the three pies that are important for our dinner tomorrow, so I’ve got that to look forward to. (Mince and two vegan pumpkin. Amusingly, the mince pie is also vegan by coincidence.)

  10. My mom does this every year. After last weekend’s pumpkin cream cheese roll, sugar cookies, and gingerbreads, I can proudly say I’m becoming more like her every year.

  11. The odds of dieting successfully are greatly increased by allowing for treats. The last time I dieted seriously, I had cake and ice cream at family functions and had fast food lunches once a week and still lost 80 pounds in less than a year.

  12. I can’t wait to read The Rough Guide to Nutrition
    “The diet’s going fine; just look at all the new calories I’ll be working off after the new year!”
    he snarked as the timer dinged on his mango cinnamon muffins

  13. I do deserve no less. I flagellate myself with pie, like, twice a week to keep the dessert demons at bay. Thanks for looking out!

    Happy Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  14. John,

    Is this the situation where you walk up rubbing your hands and say “Great! Dessert is done. Now we just have to get started on everyone else’s dessert.”?

  15. @Scorpius That’s what I said after my wife finished making my 2 favorite types of Christmas cookie, with 6 more types still to go. It didn’t go over well.

    @John, I’m new to Whatever and your novels in 2012. I’ve truly enjoyed the experience. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  16. We’ve got a pecan pie, a vanilla bean cheesecake with cream cheese sour cream and peppermint frosting, and white chocolate eggnog cups for desserts at our dinner, plus assorted cookies and mini tarts. Will be baking spiced walnut muffins later. I ain’t jealous at all! ;)

    Have a great Christmas!

  17. My, my, that’s almost as many baked goods as my sister and I made this year! Believe it or not, we’re making some serious headway on peanut butter chocolate chip and coconut almond meringue cookies, chocolate mint mousse cakes, mincemeat pie and two types of tea bread: lemon and banana peanut-butter. Yum! Caloric. Shoulda’ taken a picture.

  18. Just idly wondering… Where is the other pecan pie?

    The Karo pecan pie recipe makes 2 pies, just like the Libbys pumpkin pie recipe does.

    It could be that MATH was involved, and someone successfully halved a recipe. Or it could be that someone used an obscure (non-Karo) recipe.

    But my money is on the secret reserve pecan pie, cached away for rich, nutty happiness later. Good plan.

  19. I had 3 Cokes and now I can’t sleep. Tomorrow I have a nice McChicken to look forward to. My life sucks.

  20. Looks delicious, John, but in the interest of your new resolution to lose weight and regain your youthful, svelte figure, you should forego dessert and send it to us. (Keeping a few for your deserving wife and daughter, of course.)

    We will sacrifice ourselves for you. What are friends for?

  21. The baking results look great. Enjoy you feast. (I prefer the Cook’s Illustrated and Cook’s Country Kitchen pecan pie recipes, and using their vodka pie crust; my favorite is the triple chocolate pecan with a slight reduction in the called for amount of chocolate, just too much of a good thing.) A very merry Christmas to you and yours, Scalzi, and to all of the Whatever posters.


    ::breaks down sobbing, runs off into the night, chewing on a piece of fruit leather….::

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