Welcome to the Most Passive-Aggressive Ship in Star Fleet

Whilst on the JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 cruise, I played a round of Celebrity Artemis, in which JCCC3 luminaries (and I) pretended to troll about in a starship, shooting up aliens, who apparently deserved such treatment. My crew consisted of Rifftrax’s Kevin Murphy, comedian Joseph Scrimshaw, musician Greg “Storm” Di Costanzo, cruise icon Jonathan Coulton, and, as captain, television’s Wil Wheaton. Of course someone shot video of it (Angela Brett, to be specific), and here it is, in all its messy, obnoxiously funny glory.

YouTube Poster

I know the Artemis folks would love for me to give them a link, so here it is. Because you know what? We had tons of fun playing this thing. Get it for your next geek gathering.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

30 replies on “Welcome to the Most Passive-Aggressive Ship in Star Fleet”

I still have my copy of the “Starship Simulator” from Dilithium Press somewhere..Dated 1978, the tech wasn’t really up to it then.
There’s a copy available on e-bay :

I’ve played “Bridge Crew” a few times.. That’s from 1996.
“There are a great many configurations that Bridgecrew can be played in. The simplest layout is a small LAN, with 3-6 terminals attached. You can also run VT100 compatible terminals of the serial ports of any of the terminals. ”

Love the Red Shirt BTW.

Just a side note, the Maltose Falcons is the name of a homebrew club that goes back many years in the LA area. Good name for a ship though; could Scotty possibly have a home brew set up in Engineering?

Artemis is one of the most magnificent things in the history of ever. I played it one weekend at a friend’s house last fall and my inner 10-year old was punching the air with glee the whole time, even as I calmly reported course changes and firing solutions. I am itching for another round.

System requirements are pretty light for Artemis, also; any Pentium/Athlon dual-core machine with an old Direct-X 9 card can handle a bridge station with ease and run a ship in a pinch, and anything more modern/powerful than that can run a ship with grace and style. It’s well worth the modest price for anyone who ever daydreamed about being on the Enterprise bridge or in the Galactica CIC, and is a terrific activity for a geek group.

Gosh, it’s not every day someone I’m a fan of posts something I shot on their blog. I guess posting video of the last crew first was a good idea. :) I never actually played Artemis myself, despite how much it was played on the cruise and even in the airport afterwards, because there was so much else happening at the same time. I’m going to have to play it some day, and then come back and watch this with a better idea of what’s going on.

I also have footage of you singing Redshirt at the live band karaoke, and the first part of your reading. Is it okay if I post those too eventually?

I bet this was just hilarious if you could make out the words. I couldn’t (because of my hearing issues). If some benevolent person with better hearing captioned it, I’d be delighted to watch it. The automatic captions aren’t any better than my own hearing-impaired guesses, unfortunately.

I see Glenn has already posted his video of you singing Redshirt, but what it’s worth, here’s mine, apparently from the same angle, but with more problems of spotlight glare, and some extra talking at the end:

I bet Jason Roop has great footage of it from his side of the stage.

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