Why, No, You Can’t Write a Guest Post Here
Yet another “post now, refer people to later” post:
Recently my e-mail had been inundated with people who I don’t know and have never heard of before (or organizations, which is even worse), asking me if they can write a guest post on some highly obscure but generally commercially-related subject, because they are sure that my audience will just love it, etc. I don’t know whether this is a new spammy practice or if some SEO-mad consultant has advised his clients that “guest posts” are the new black, or whatever, but I do know this sudden wave of solicitations is highly annoying.
So, to those deeply annoying random strangers asking to borrow my readership:
NO, you may not have a guest post on my site. Please fuck right off and never bother me again. Now shoo.
Generally speaking I have two types of guest posts: Big Ideas, for which there is already a well-established intake process, and the posts that happen when I ask people to be guest bloggers here when I take a break from the site — in which case I ask specific people. In almost no cases ever do I take unsolicited guest posts that aren’t Big Ideas (I think there may have been just one time in the last entire decade, in fact) and when I have, they are from people I know personally and consider friends, not just random people. Even if you are someone I know, the incidence of unsolicited guest posts on this site is .00012%. Those are not good odds.
So, yeah, if you’re not already in my close personal circle of real-world friends, don’t bother asking. If you are in my close personal circle of real-world friends, you probably shouldn’t ask unless in the most exceptional of circumstances (as was the case in the one last time).
Even shorter version: If I want a guest post, I’ll ask for it. Thanks.