Categories Uncategorized I’m Alive Post author By John Scalzi Post date May 23, 2013 32 Comments on I’m Alive Just busy. Amuse yourselves in my absence. Be back later. Share: By John Scalzi I enjoy pie. View Archive → ← Madison! I’m at A Room Of One’s Own TOMORROW, 4pm! Note the Time! → Phoenix/Scottsdale: I’m At the Poisoned Pen, Saturday, 5pm! 32 replies on “I’m Alive” How? For the love of God, how? Lies! You have been replaced with a chatbot! Who can make the ‘Scalziest’ remark here? I can’t, alas… too busy figuring out how to tape bacon to my cats… I’m Alive Me too. Go figure. Keep on keepin’ on? MY BOLOGNA HAS A FIRST NAME, IT’S O S C A R. Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse, M O U S E. I say we make churros pancakes and eat them ALL before he gets back. My bologna has a first name, it’s bioresearch staff, My bologna has a second name, it’s gas chromatograph, And I have wondered, so have you, Why it tastes the way it doooooo….. ‘Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with recombinant DNA! See you at WisCon. Kids these days. Back in my day, we invaded abandoned alt communities on usenet and talked about Karl Malden’s Nose. The bomb destroyed half the block, and Scalzi survived! (A slight paraphrase from Revenge of the Pink Panther) jamercer: Brilliant! :-) Close the thread… Reziac won! Freak that was a big nose. Alt communities had individually wrapped fetish packs in those days, too. The Rachel will be along presently to pick you up. Notice how we are teased with “Be back later” No time, no date. Nada, Zip, Zilch. We could be waiting for months for all we know. So, it all comes down to leading us on with open ended promises. At first I interpreted John’s most recent event announcement as being in a bookstore called: A Room Of One’s Own Tomorrow Which seemed a pretty philosophical name for a book store. Mike, I agree. A combination of Virginia Woolf and the White Queen in Through the Looking Glass. . . . And the world shines for me today, I’m alive! Suddenly, I am here today. Seems like forever (and a day), Thought I could never (feel this way) Is this really me? Everyday I amuse myself with Dana Simpson’s “Heavenly Nostrils.” I don’t amuse myself by saying that I’ve amused myself because of comments at a comic strip. But here goes: http://www.gocomics.com/thenewadventuresofqueenvictoria/2013/05/23 So, how does this work? It’s like a “I’m on vacation” email auto-reply. But instead its a “I’m busy. Be back later” auto-blog? 24 hours without a blog post and it will randomly kick in? That’s amusing… We, too, had a version of the bologna song back when I served on submarines. It went like this.. My reactor has a first name. It’s N A V A L. My reactor has a second name that’s classified as hell. Oh I love to run it every day, and if you ask me why, I’ll say… ‘Cause radiation has a way of screwing up your DNA. Once upon a midnight dreary Whilst I pondered bleak and beery Over many quaint and weird volumes of stuff that’s on tomorrow’s test Suddenly I heard a gross noise and the terrified bird made itself weigh less on my chamber door. ‘Splot’ and ‘Knock’ kinda sound the same. If one is very tired. Does this sound familiar? He’s playing the reality game at the easiest setting: god level. I’m playing at the hard setting: five-foot tall female bisexual combat medic. Now, if he was playing hardcore he’d be an African-American lesbian midget Marine. Wen Spencer, Eight Million Gods Thank you, Jackson Brown. Scalzi on TableTop next week! Woohoo! Greg, that’s madness! An auto-post to prove his aliveness? How will we ever know if he’s really alive then? Why, we couldn’t trust *anything* if that were a thing. I’m talking like can’t trust gravity level of alarm, man. Whew. I need to lie down and catch my breath. I, also, am alive. And I think I’m thankful. I’m about to go to bed with my dog Buster, so that’s a good thing. It looks like this is the 5th time Scalzi has posted “I’m Alive” – the post URL gives it away: http://whatever.scalzi.com/2013/05/23/im-alive-5 I read Steven Gould’s “Impulse” last night. Tried to stop at 10:45 and couldn’t. Next time you see him tell him it’s great. :-) I afraid just taking your word for it won’t be enough. In the future, we will need to see a photo of you holding a newspaper with that day’s date clearly visible. I’m amusing myself by nibbling away at ‘The Human Division’. I usually gulp boks down, but I’m taking time to savor this first reading. I’m surprised it didn’t lead off with ‘After The Coup’, the story that introduced us to Harry Wilson and Hart Schmidt. (Link for any newcomers who missed it – ) http://www.tor.com/stories/2008/07/after-the-coup Dunh, ATC is at the end of the book! Serves me right for not looking at the table of contents. Does anyone? Comments are closed.