Posted on May 26, 2013 Posted by John Scalzi 28 Comments
Man, this sketch from Howard Tayler has it all.
Also: that poor troll. I almost feel sorry for it. Almost.
Phoenix Comic Con continues to be awesome. That is all.
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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Trolls have no arms? How do they type?
Reblogged this on Create Blog.
enjoy the show!
Scorpius: Presumably the horns conceal a speech-to-text headset.
Scorpius: Badly.
There needs to be a kitten strapped to the Mallet or something to reflect the Mallet’s new and improved kittening mode.
What is the gamma rabbit business? I’ve seen it here on occassion, but you really confuse me. What is the significance, orgin story, joke, see? I can’t even frame the questiion properly, this gamma rabbit business has me so confused. The troll I get, The mallet I get. (Please, no kittens on the mallet as suggested by Laura, that would be cruel.) Scalzi with mallet I get. Gamma rabbit I do not get.
Gary, if you’re serious, a quick trip to Google or DuckDuckGo will give you the background.
Gary: http://bit.ly/Z8o9F0
Gary, gamma rabbit was the beast that Darmok and Jalad fought at Tanagra, so when discussing that battle, sometimes it just gets shortened to “gamma rabbit”.
Is that rabbit scared by the troll or the mallet looming over it’s head?
Unfortunately, the Gamma Rabbit is saying, “Please hammer*, don’t hurt em!”
The Gamma Rabbit is stuck in the late 80s – early 90s.
* Yes it should be mallet. No, the hammer is just a hammer
As a fan of Schlock, my first take was “Hey, that’s Howard!”, and then I saw the content of the sketch. My morning is made.
Aw. That troll has sad eyes. It’s like he doesn’t understand what he did wrong.
How do trolls type? With their teeny little penises. One. Letter. At. A. Time.
Adam, David, & Greg–Thank You.
Now I get the Gamma Rabbit business. I guess as it happened, I blew by the Whatever blog posts speed reading as the troll flaming wars between Scalzi, Beale, or anyone for that matter are things I could care less about. Trolls are so, well, trolls. Let the daylight strike them to stone whereever they lurk. And I lost interest in wearing t-shirts decades ago. Collared shirts, I like collared shirts. Still don’t want a gamma rabbit collared shirt, so don’t go there with your vendor, Sir John, on my behalf.
Nice cartoon though. Nice.
David, how did you do that???
@Cassie I’m just that good.
Also, go to http://lmgtfy.com and you can set one up yourself.
I think Gamma Rabbit is saying, “You don’t wanna see this, folks.”
Trolls have no arms? How do they type?
With respect to Lym, they wildly bang their penises on the keyboard in a frenzied mating display to those few females of their species. Alas, none of these females is able to read, let alone follow the Internet, and so the trolls are doomed to a slow and degrading extinction.
It’s very sad when you think about it.
First thought: “That’s not a troll. Itsa huh, well. Not a troll.”
–
Kigme Al Capp? No.
I do recognize the sad faced lady on the left.
Big feet? Yes but. Nahh, not a hobbit.
I do recognize her with her big either ears or horns. Darn it
to heck where did I see her before.
–
BTW, because of how she’s using her tunic and beard to hide
her belly she is pregnant.
Gamma Rabbit Knows All Things!
Edit: Gamma Rabbit Knows!
Scalzi: Grrrrrrr, taste my awesome wrath!
Gamma Rabbit: John, No! You’re going to get troll ichor all over your lovely mallet! That stuff’s hell to shift.
It looks to me as if Scalzi bonked the gamma rabbit on the backswing.
@Lym
Must be why they love copy-and-paste and optional punctuation so much.
I’d always assumed trolls just had hentia tentacles and each tribe reproduced by parthenogenesis. They do all seem to be clones, after all.
Have a kitten clinging to the mallet’s handle?
Trolls have arms. Till I get a hold of them anyway. Then they have
arm
singular.
But not here as Mr. Scalzi thinks its best for his site for us to ignore the Trolls, so I leave them alone here. It is his site and his rules BUT I thought I should correct the mistaken idea that trolls do not have arms. I could not tear them out of their sockets and nail them up over my doors if they didn’t have arms.
Join the Beowulf Society and collect Troll Arms today.
Just not on John’s site as that would be rude and he bans rude people.
Ethelred Hardrede
Internet Troll Slayer
Member of the Beowulf Society
In Good Standing