Posted on June 17, 2013 Posted by John Scalzi 86 Comments
From an actual conversation this morning, on the occasion of today being our anniversary.
Krissy: Eighteen years, baby. That’s a lot.
Me: Yes. Our marriage is now old enough to vote.
Krissy: But not drink.
Me: Well, not legally. As if that would stop our marriage.
That’s right. Our marriage is a reckless teenager, crossing the threshold to adulthood! You can’t tell it what to do anymore! You’re not the boss of it! It’s going to get its own apartment with some friends and party all night if it wants to! You can’t stop it! So there. And yes, it plans to go to college, one day. But right now it’s planning a year to hike around Europe and Asia. What do you mean with what money? It has a job as assistant manager at Cinnabon! What do you mean that if it gets its own apartment it won’t have money for Europe? Look, you just don’t get it, do you. Stop trying to control its destiny! It would argue more with you, but it has to get to the airport and open the store. Those Cinnabites won’t glaze themselves.
Our marriage, man. It is awesome.
(Note: it really is.)
You got me at “old enough to vote”! XD
Congratulations to you both! Ah, Cinnabon – better than doughnuts …
But does your marriage get embarrassed when you talk about it this way?
Your marriage is taking a gap year?
Wishing you many happy returns of the day!
Don’t forget — your marriage could always drive to Quebec or Manitoba to get its drink on.
Congratulations on 18 and here’s wishing you very many good wishes for very many more years.
When is your marriage planning on settling down and getting married to another marriage?
Our anniversary is tomorrow- 19 years. This means my marriage tells your marriage in a slightly annoying superior warm what it should do on it’s gap year because it feels more mature- even though most of it’s furniture is things like stolen milk crate bookcases and a sofa found on the side of the road. We’ve also been fired from Cinnabon, but that’s fine, we didn’t want to work for the man anyway.
My marriage is a teenager today! Congratulations to you too. :)
Congrats, Krissy and John! Well done.
Happy anniversary, John and Krissy! You’re an amazing couple… an inspiration those those of us with marriages that aren’t old enough to vote yet. (Oh, by mine is old enough to get into LOTS OF TROUBLE, but voting isn’t one of them. Yet.)
Congrats, John! Today is lucky 13 for me. My marriage is hitting those awkward teenage years of acne, social awkwardness, and voice and body hair changes. How exciting.
Our marriage turned 21 this year, and we commented that it’s old enough to drink. So we took it out for a nice dinner with a bottle of wine, because we believe that we should encourage responsible behavior instead of acting like drinking is some kind of taboo that will only result in it going off and bingeing on vodka shots with all its marriage friends..
PS. You’ve posted this picture before, and I always read Krissy’s expression as “John, you’re such a goofball, but I love that you’re MY goofball.” Congratulations to both of you.
Oh God, I had almost this exact conversation with my Dad as a teenager. (Hangs head in shame)
Congratulations, John, on on getting Krissy to put up with your shit for 18 years (this is how I usually refer to my marriage).
Happy anniversary! My marriage at 36 has settled to sitting by those nice hot glowing coals in fireplace, and going on trips with money saved. Hawaii was grand this year. Looking forward to London and worldcon there next. Hope to see you there when you’re 19.
Congratulations John and Krissy!
Woo! My marriage just turned 1 today and is figuring out how to walk and talk. It is mostly about being adorable.
Congratulations! They grow up so fast, don’t they? My marriage is only three, but it’s still keeping awake at night.
Congratulations! My own relationship is 31 and counting, but no marriage. Still not legal here
18 year anniversary = 36 person years. It does take both parties to make a marriage work. Congrats!
Happy Anniversary John and Krissy! Hope you have a wonderful day and another great year ahead!
Congratulations! Hubby and I just celebrated eight years in March. May you and Krissy have many more happy years!
Congratulations! My marriage to the most wonderful woman in the world turns 16 this year. I’m apprehensive about it getting it’s driver’s license.
Congratulations to you both. Keep loving each other and don’t listen to anyone who tells you to settle down and act your age.
Bring your marriage to Montreal, and I’ll buy it a beer. ;) Congratulations! Seeing other people happy always makes me happy.
Your marriage is 18 years minus two days older than my brother’s, who was just married this Saturday in a lovely ceremony on the beach.
My marriage is three this year, so I guess it’s really excited about heavy machinery and large predators, and would like to show all of the older marriages the singing astronaut it found on youtube.
And, this year, we’ve been married twice as long as you (we can vote twice!).
Happy Anniversary, and many more happy years to come.
My marriage turned 22 this year, so I guess it’s finished college, is looking at the job market and considering grad school…
Happy Anniver… Wait, can I have a Cinnabon?
Our marriage is in pre-school, but our relationship is old enough to drink without road-tripping to Canada.
(I called my spouse “baby” exactly once. After a moment of stunned silence, we both cracked up laughing. It just doesn’t work for us.)
Congratulations! My marriage starts first grade in August, and is a little nervous about what the other marriages will think about it.
Congrats…when done right (and it is pretty clear even from this distance that the two of you have got it down) marriage is the most wonderful state imaginable. I’m on 23 years come this August.
Many happy returns on your anniversary. My marriage is going on 33 years, which is not nearly long enough. We met at a sci fi club in college and i knew at first sight that he was my soul mate and we would spend the rest of our lives together. And to prove I”ll go anywhere with him, today I’m sitting next to him in a hospital while he gets massive antibiotics because I wanted to go kayaking last week and he had a scratch on his leg from feeding the chickens and now he has a staff infection. Cherish those you love, every minute.
After giving Krissy a kitchen sink for her birthday, and porcelain being the traditional 18th anniversary gift …. did you get her a new commode?
Congratulations! 1995 was a very good year to get married! I know this to be true because my husband and I also celebrated our 18th last week.
Congratulations on your first 18 years together!
I have to say that this post had me laughing so much because I have a daughter that turned 18 about 6ish months ago and though she actually is attending college in the fall, I get that attitude ALL the time. Oh my God… all the fucking time. No wonder I’m in therapy.
And frankly, I’m sick of people telling me she’ll snap out of it in 5 or 6 years. *nod*
But again, congrats!!
My marriage is about 6 months older than your marriage, and is in the middle of deciding if it wants to take a year off and bike around Australia and New Zealand, get an apartment, or move across country. Of course, all of those things require good transportation, and I have doubts about the bicycle holding out, let alone the car.
Happy Anniversary! My marriage is only old enough to drive. My first marriage didn’t make past kindergarten.
Someday, man. But probably not.
Would it be better if we invented self-glazing Cinnabites?
(My wife, glaring at me at this moment… at least it’s not an 800-foot-tall Platypus, or 800 1-foot-tall people…).
Congratulations! and I love the idea about talking about marriage as if it was a person – it certainly feels like an independent entity at times :). Mine, at nearly 30, is settled into its career, onto its serious relationship, and is considering marriage and kids…
It’s my anniversary today, too! (Our 13th). Congratulations all around.
my marriage is fast approaching 27 and still has not moved out of the house ;=) Congrats to you two and may it go far and be very successful
I was married 45 years ago next month. Good thing, because the oldest kid is soon to be 44.
Congrats! You make a cute couple. Well, she is cute, you are just there to make it a couple. hehe
Huge congratulations. You are both excellent people, and I hope you have many more excellent years together.
Congratulations and many more. Keep doing whatever you’re doing because it seems to be working. I’m feeling a bit ancient, however. My oldest son and his wife were married 20 yrs. a few days ago. It’s a good one, too.
My marriage will become a teenager in February. Yikes!
My marriage is almost old enough to run for President, but isn’t going to, as that would involve getting off the couch and then moving back east, which it totally isn’t going to do. It’ll buy a Cinnabon from yours, though be exasperated by its attitude.
Congratulations, John & Krissy Scalzi! Tammy’s and I’s marriage is not only old enough to vote and drink, it’s old enough to rent a car without an elder’s signature and run for the House of Representatives (but not quite old enough for the Senate or Presidency!)….
Let’s see if your marriage can make it to the White House.
Mrs. -In-Weld and i are one year behind you; our marriage is just old enough to get into R-rated movies by itself. But it can get a fake ID to vote I guess.
Teenagers! Move out now while you still know everything!
Congratulations, may every anniversary find you happier together and more in love with each other. We’ve got thirty-eight years, and they have flown past.
My not-quite-marriage is only nine, halfway there. Hey, it only learned how to write cursive letters last year, and since it prefers using a keyboard, I hold no hope for its future legibility but lots of hope for its endurance.
oh, and congratulations!
Congratulations, John and Krissy! May you have many more.
Congratulations to both of you. My marriage turned 24 a couple of weeks ago, and is thinking about going into business with some friends. Its trying to decide which crowdsourcing platform to use for the start up funds. If that doesn’t work out, there’s always a Cinnabon franchise.
Your marriage is also old enough to drink in Alberta!
Happy Anniversary!!! Thank you for sharing your first date anectode as well. It’s a beautiful story. My husband proposed two weeks after meeting me… and I’m totally with you on the ‘crazy, crazy people’ idea. But here we are, 21 years later.
… that means my marriage can now legally drink and go to Vegas.
Instead of Vegas, though, it took a 700 mile road trip where I got to meet you at Phoenix ComiCon. That was awesome beyond words. Thank you so much for being the inspiration for our trip, as I was looking for the closest place to home that you were doing your book tour.
Happy anniversary :-)
Happy anniversary! I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your relationship.
The comments for this post are great. It is heartening to see so many older marriages when it seems so few stand the test of time. My congratulations to you all. It just keeps getting better, doesn’t it? Ours turns 30 this year.
Good on your marriage for struggling against the scourge that is same-sex marriage, which is out to destroy it. Or something like that.
(My marriage will hit its 19th birthday in July. It’s going to buzz up to Montreal for a beer and some poutine.)
Congrats. You should definitely take your marriage to Quebec City for a drink. It’s the most romantic city on the continent.
Happy anniversary, belated. Mine hits the quarter century mark today.
Congratulations! Our marriage is just entering puberty…gawd,,,
Wait – aren’t Cinnabites some ghastly Clive Barker yummy demon spawn?
Eighteen years. Pfffft. I was much more efficient with my marriage–I finished it in five years.
I look at that picture, and think “Poor John, he has no idea WTF he’s getting into”. Krissy, OTOH, looks like she already has plans for the poor sap and just can’t wait for ceremony to get over so she can implement them.
Great! I’m only nineteen so your marriage may as well be my Europe-Trip buddy. And cinnabon budy, always cinnabon.
I seriously perceived it as “those Cenobites won’t glaze themselves”, which is a much more interesting image.
Congratulations! My own marriage will be 40 in August, but it still rather a drama queen, It doesn’t help that my son’s five year old marriage had to move back in.
Congratulations, a good marriage is indeed an awesome thing. We are rapidly approaching the big 30 but m really jealous of your daughter. Sweaty girl plus horse smell may be strong, but I grew up next to Grant’s Farm and we used to sneak in and playa with them. So a not unpleasant odor. Unfortunately my son is taking gym in summer school. Do you know what a 13 yo boy smells like after 2.5 hours of outside gym in the humid Midwest. There is no bus service for summer school. I assume this is because the kids in gym class outnumber the regular classes. Apparently the bus drivers decided to save their sanity and no drive hot sweaty locker rooms. Besides I like horses. Any room for another cat?
Happy belated anniversary, sir. Don’t let ’em schedule the party on Deck 6. ;-)
I’m impressed! Congratulations and best wishes.
Awww, mucho congrats John & Krissy. My wife and I are coming up on 17 in a month, and it is awesome (marriage) and it is pretty damn sweet (being a parent). Mozzle-Cheers!
“My marriage is three this year, so I guess it’s really excited about heavy machinery and large predators, and would like to show all of the older marriages the singing astronaut it found on youtube.”
Hunh. Our marriage is fourteen, but it STILL is really excited about heavy machinery, large predators, and Youtube videos of singing astronauts.
Rose and I have been married for 32! years. Good fortune to both (or all) of you.
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