18 Years

From an actual conversation this morning, on the occasion of today being our anniversary.

Krissy: Eighteen years, baby. That’s a lot.

Me: Yes. Our marriage is now old enough to vote.

Krissy: But not drink.

Me: Well, not legally. As if that would stop our marriage.

That’s right. Our marriage is a reckless teenager, crossing the threshold to adulthood! You can’t tell it what to do anymore! You’re not the boss of it! It’s going to get its own apartment with some friends and party all night if it wants to! You can’t stop it! So there. And yes, it plans to go to college, one day. But right now it’s planning a year to hike around Europe and Asia. What do you mean with what money? It has a job as assistant manager at Cinnabon! What do you mean that if it gets its own apartment it won’t have money for Europe? Look, you just don’t get it, do you. Stop trying to control its destiny! It would argue more with you, but it has to get to the airport and open the store. Those Cinnabites won’t glaze themselves.

Our marriage, man. It is awesome.

(Note: it really is.)


86 Comments on “18 Years”

  1. Don’t forget — your marriage could always drive to Quebec or Manitoba to get its drink on.

  2. Congratulations on 18 and here’s wishing you very many good wishes for very many more years.

  3. Our anniversary is tomorrow- 19 years. This means my marriage tells your marriage in a slightly annoying superior warm what it should do on it’s gap year because it feels more mature- even though most of it’s furniture is things like stolen milk crate bookcases and a sofa found on the side of the road. We’ve also been fired from Cinnabon, but that’s fine, we didn’t want to work for the man anyway.


  4. Happy anniversary, John and Krissy! You’re an amazing couple… an inspiration those those of us with marriages that aren’t old enough to vote yet. (Oh, by mine is old enough to get into LOTS OF TROUBLE, but voting isn’t one of them. Yet.)

  5. Congrats, John! Today is lucky 13 for me. My marriage is hitting those awkward teenage years of acne, social awkwardness, and voice and body hair changes. How exciting.

  6. Our marriage turned 21 this year, and we commented that it’s old enough to drink. So we took it out for a nice dinner with a bottle of wine, because we believe that we should encourage responsible behavior instead of acting like drinking is some kind of taboo that will only result in it going off and bingeing on vodka shots with all its marriage friends..

    PS. You’ve posted this picture before, and I always read Krissy’s expression as “John, you’re such a goofball, but I love that you’re MY goofball.” Congratulations to both of you.

  7. Oh God, I had almost this exact conversation with my Dad as a teenager. (Hangs head in shame)

    Congratulations, John, on on getting Krissy to put up with your shit for 18 years (this is how I usually refer to my marriage).

  8. Happy anniversary! My marriage at 36 has settled to sitting by those nice hot glowing coals in fireplace, and going on trips with money saved. Hawaii was grand this year. Looking forward to London and worldcon there next. Hope to see you there when you’re 19.

  9. Congratulations! They grow up so fast, don’t they? My marriage is only three, but it’s still keeping awake at night.

  10. Congratulations! My own relationship is 31 and counting, but no marriage. Still not legal here

  11. 18 year anniversary = 36 person years. It does take both parties to make a marriage work. Congrats!

  12. Happy Anniversary John and Krissy! Hope you have a wonderful day and another great year ahead!

  13. Congratulations! My marriage to the most wonderful woman in the world turns 16 this year. I’m apprehensive about it getting it’s driver’s license.

  14. Congratulations to you both. Keep loving each other and don’t listen to anyone who tells you to settle down and act your age.

  15. Bring your marriage to Montreal, and I’ll buy it a beer. ;) Congratulations! Seeing other people happy always makes me happy.

  16. Congratulations!

    Your marriage is 18 years minus two days older than my brother’s, who was just married this Saturday in a lovely ceremony on the beach.

    My marriage is three this year, so I guess it’s really excited about heavy machinery and large predators, and would like to show all of the older marriages the singing astronaut it found on youtube.

  17. Congratulations!
    My marriage turned 22 this year, so I guess it’s finished college, is looking at the job market and considering grad school…

  18. Congrats!

    Our marriage is in pre-school, but our relationship is old enough to drink without road-tripping to Canada.

    (I called my spouse “baby” exactly once. After a moment of stunned silence, we both cracked up laughing. It just doesn’t work for us.)

  19. Congratulations! My marriage starts first grade in August, and is a little nervous about what the other marriages will think about it.

  20. Congrats…when done right (and it is pretty clear even from this distance that the two of you have got it down) marriage is the most wonderful state imaginable. I’m on 23 years come this August.

  21. Many happy returns on your anniversary. My marriage is going on 33 years, which is not nearly long enough. We met at a sci fi club in college and i knew at first sight that he was my soul mate and we would spend the rest of our lives together. And to prove I”ll go anywhere with him, today I’m sitting next to him in a hospital while he gets massive antibiotics because I wanted to go kayaking last week and he had a scratch on his leg from feeding the chickens and now he has a staff infection. Cherish those you love, every minute.

  22. Congratulations! 1995 was a very good year to get married! I know this to be true because my husband and I also celebrated our 18th last week.

  23. Congratulations on your first 18 years together!

    I have to say that this post had me laughing so much because I have a daughter that turned 18 about 6ish months ago and though she actually is attending college in the fall, I get that attitude ALL the time. Oh my God… all the fucking time. No wonder I’m in therapy.

    And frankly, I’m sick of people telling me she’ll snap out of it in 5 or 6 years. *nod*

    But again, congrats!!

  24. My marriage is about 6 months older than your marriage, and is in the middle of deciding if it wants to take a year off and bike around Australia and New Zealand, get an apartment, or move across country. Of course, all of those things require good transportation, and I have doubts about the bicycle holding out, let alone the car.

  25. Congratulations!

    Would it be better if we invented self-glazing Cinnabites?

    (My wife, glaring at me at this moment… at least it’s not an 800-foot-tall Platypus, or 800 1-foot-tall people…).

  26. Congratulations! and I love the idea about talking about marriage as if it was a person – it certainly feels like an independent entity at times :). Mine, at nearly 30, is settled into its career, onto its serious relationship, and is considering marriage and kids…

  27. my marriage is fast approaching 27 and still has not moved out of the house ;=) Congrats to you two and may it go far and be very successful

  28. I was married 45 years ago next month. Good thing, because the oldest kid is soon to be 44.

  29. Congrats! You make a cute couple. Well, she is cute, you are just there to make it a couple. hehe

  30. Huge congratulations. You are both excellent people, and I hope you have many more excellent years together.

  31. Congratulations and many more. Keep doing whatever you’re doing because it seems to be working. I’m feeling a bit ancient, however. My oldest son and his wife were married 20 yrs. a few days ago. It’s a good one, too.

  32. My marriage is almost old enough to run for President, but isn’t going to, as that would involve getting off the couch and then moving back east, which it totally isn’t going to do. It’ll buy a Cinnabon from yours, though be exasperated by its attitude.

  33. Congratulations, John & Krissy Scalzi! Tammy’s and I’s marriage is not only old enough to vote and drink, it’s old enough to rent a car without an elder’s signature and run for the House of Representatives (but not quite old enough for the Senate or Presidency!)….

    Let’s see if your marriage can make it to the White House.

  34. Congratulations!

    Mrs. -In-Weld and i are one year behind you; our marriage is just old enough to get into R-rated movies by itself. But it can get a fake ID to vote I guess.

  35. Congratulations, may every anniversary find you happier together and more in love with each other. We’ve got thirty-eight years, and they have flown past.

  36. My not-quite-marriage is only nine, halfway there. Hey, it only learned how to write cursive letters last year, and since it prefers using a keyboard, I hold no hope for its future legibility but lots of hope for its endurance.

  37. Congratulations to both of you. My marriage turned 24 a couple of weeks ago, and is thinking about going into business with some friends. Its trying to decide which crowdsourcing platform to use for the start up funds. If that doesn’t work out, there’s always a Cinnabon franchise.

  38. Happy Anniversary!!! Thank you for sharing your first date anectode as well. It’s a beautiful story. My husband proposed two weeks after meeting me… and I’m totally with you on the ‘crazy, crazy people’ idea. But here we are, 21 years later.

    … that means my marriage can now legally drink and go to Vegas.

    Instead of Vegas, though, it took a 700 mile road trip where I got to meet you at Phoenix ComiCon. That was awesome beyond words. Thank you so much for being the inspiration for our trip, as I was looking for the closest place to home that you were doing your book tour.

  39. Happy anniversary! I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your relationship.

    The comments for this post are great. It is heartening to see so many older marriages when it seems so few stand the test of time. My congratulations to you all. It just keeps getting better, doesn’t it? Ours turns 30 this year.

  40. Good on your marriage for struggling against the scourge that is same-sex marriage, which is out to destroy it. Or something like that.
    (My marriage will hit its 19th birthday in July. It’s going to buzz up to Montreal for a beer and some poutine.)

  41. Congrats. You should definitely take your marriage to Quebec City for a drink. It’s the most romantic city on the continent.

  42. Congratulations! Our marriage is just entering puberty…gawd,,,
    Wait – aren’t Cinnabites some ghastly Clive Barker yummy demon spawn?

  43. I look at that picture, and think “Poor John, he has no idea WTF he’s getting into”. Krissy, OTOH, looks like she already has plans for the poor sap and just can’t wait for ceremony to get over so she can implement them.

  44. I seriously perceived it as “those Cenobites won’t glaze themselves”, which is a much more interesting image.

  45. Congratulations! My own marriage will be 40 in August, but it still rather a drama queen, It doesn’t help that my son’s five year old marriage had to move back in.

  46. Congratulations, a good marriage is indeed an awesome thing. We are rapidly approaching the big 30 but m really jealous of your daughter. Sweaty girl plus horse smell may be strong, but I grew up next to Grant’s Farm and we used to sneak in and playa with them. So a not unpleasant odor. Unfortunately my son is taking gym in summer school. Do you know what a 13 yo boy smells like after 2.5 hours of outside gym in the humid Midwest. There is no bus service for summer school. I assume this is because the kids in gym class outnumber the regular classes. Apparently the bus drivers decided to save their sanity and no drive hot sweaty locker rooms. Besides I like horses. Any room for another cat?

  47. Awww, mucho congrats John & Krissy. My wife and I are coming up on 17 in a month, and it is awesome (marriage) and it is pretty damn sweet (being a parent). Mozzle-Cheers!

  48. Annalee said:

    “My marriage is three this year, so I guess it’s really excited about heavy machinery and large predators, and would like to show all of the older marriages the singing astronaut it found on youtube.”

    Hunh. Our marriage is fourteen, but it STILL is really excited about heavy machinery, large predators, and Youtube videos of singing astronauts.

  49. Rose and I have been married for 32! years. Good fortune to both (or all) of you.

  50. Hello,

    Please take the time to look at (and support!) a new independent sci fi feature film anthology called Mnemophrenia.

    We are now in pre-production for the second part of three intertwining and interlinked short stories – one filmed per year – that explore the rise of a new (fictional) mental condition called ‘mnemophrenia’. Linked to – and suspected to be caused by – a technological breakthrough in virtual reality, the condition renders some people unable to distinguish artificial memories from real ones.
    When all three chapters are completed they will mix to create a fourth film: feature-length, connecting and completing the ideas born in the three shorts.

    The first chapter – Mnemophrenia: The Beginning was filmed last year and is being submitted to film festivals.

    There are fewer and fewer low budget film funds out there, and we will be funding the second chapter of the film – Total Cinema through crowdfunding so help you could give in promoting it would be greatly appreciated!


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