Oh My God Look What Today’s Thunderstorm Did to the Trampoline

I mean, damn

But that’s not the worst part. The worst part?

We don’t own a trampoline.

That got blown into our yard from someone else’s yard. Which means that trampoline got pushed several hundred feet by the wind.

So, yeah. Exciting weather day.

51 Comments on “Oh My God Look What Today’s Thunderstorm Did to the Trampoline”

  1. It almost looks like it’s gone feral and crawled there like a spider.

    MAYBE IT’S NOT A TRAMPOLINE! Don’t go outside.

  2. New SYFY movie: TrampelNADO! In which people are bounced to death by large, carnivorous trampolines thrown about by a giant storm.

    Jason Priestly set to star.

  3. Yeah, someone’s pool umbrella is in our street right now. Geez, the least a storm could do is deposit something useful…

  4. Trampolines are usually the first victims of a good storm. There was the epic video of a trampoline going buy during 2011’s Hurricane Bawbag. Good thing we have YouTube

  5. Before I even read, “We don’t own a trampoline,” I said to myself, “Scalzi doesn’t own a trampoline.”

    I spend way too much time on this blog.

  6. Before I even read, “We don’t own a trampoline,” I said to myself, “Scalzi doesn’t own a trampoline.”

    My first thought was, “This is the first you are telling us about your trampoline? You’ve been holding out!”

  7. I was tracking those storms from the time they crossed over from Indiana, John. It’s what I do as a volunteer, a ham radio operator, and a trained SKYWARN weather spotter. Any wind over 58mph is considered severe thunderstorm criteria, as well as hail 3/4 inch or larger, or rain in excess of 1″ per hour rate (so 1/4″ in 15 minutes would be the same thing). Glad you’re all right.

  8. That thunderstorm is on its way here. After the heatwave we’ve been having, I can’t wait.

    In fact, “Winter is coming” never sounded so good.

  9. We once had a spring storm that lifted the neighbor’s garden shed (8×8′ aluminum) over a six foot fence, and dropped it on top of our two year-old apple tree, snapping it off at the roots.

    Had a vaguely wizard-of-ozzish feeling seeing its branches sticking out from under the building.

  10. Y’all’s tyros. Back about 1962, in Fargo ND, there was a hellacious windstorm cum tornado that picked up a large hangar from the airport and moved it about 300 yards… and set it down in this farmer’s barnyard, reasonably intact. The farmer is like, FREE BARN! The airport sued to get it returned, but IIRC the court said no, it was technically littering so he gets to keep it.

    That said, I’m fairly sure that’s an arachnotron in moult. Don’t go outside without your BFG.

  11. One of our neighbors up the road had a trampoline. Earlier this spring, something very similar happened to it.

  12. Have you interviewed that “trampoline,” John? It might have been a NSA drone.

  13. Why can’t these big storm ever blow something you want , like a Ferrari 458, into your yard…?

    I’m with Paul and Mary – The Trampoline WANTS you to think it just “blew in from somebody else’s yard…”

  14. @timeliebe: As long as the title is in the glovebox. I’d rather have the trampoline, but I can sell the Ferrari and buy the trampoline :)

  15. That happens a lot down here on the Texas coast…We have had a number of them end up in our yard over the years.

  16. Never trust a free trampoline ‘blown’ into your yard, John, especially one that looks like it’ll get up and crawl away at any moment.

  17. You haven’t seen a skinny man wearing a ragged pointy hat that says “Wizzard”, have you?

    We don’t know how the Luggage might manifest in this universe.

  18. 2 years ago, we had one of those trampolines. It was chained down to a couple of steel stakes in the ground. A heavy storm softened the ground and lifted it to our neighbor’s property, about 400′ away. Made it over a 6′ high fence. We now have about 400 lbs. of concrete slabs on the legs.

  19. Last summer we lost our deck umbrella, which was in a heavily weighted stand, to a thunderstorm. And some years back a friend in Austin had what apparently was either a very strong thunderstorm or a very small tornado move through her back yard because the next morning her garden shed had been moved over the 6′ wall to her neighbor’s yard, with not a single item in it out of place. Storms do crazy things!

  20. I don’t know if it’s the same storm, but our house is still without power going on 20+ hours (We lost it around 8 PM Friday night and it’s now 5 PM Saturday). Our house is intact. Our neighbourhood is intact (though I’ve seen some exciting pictures of trees on roofs, etc). But we still have no power.

    It’s not like I even live in an at-risk zone! I live in Hamilton*, ffs!

    *Ontario, Canada, aka the land where we’re not supposed to have heatwaves. LIES.

  21. With any luck, the trampoline will be returned to its rightful owner. After suitable repairs to the trampoline, hopefully, the owner will be able to, once again, jump for joy.

  22. Back in 1999 a big tornado went through the Cincinnati area. Our neighbor’s trampoline ended up on the roof of the house across the street from us- remarkably, looking fairly intact.

  23. Part of the joys of living with the weather in the Midwest–believe me, I know. Love it. Live it. own it.

  24. Mary is correct as usual. Migratory arachnid aliens posing as trampolines. They got the idea from SHARKNADO.

    I’m so glad our worst weather-related yard disaster was the fence falling on our infant lemon tree during a downpour one winter, nearly bisecting it. It survived, but still has a bend and a huge dent in the trunk. We did lose a cheap gazebo once, but it only made it across our yard and fetched up against the fence. Not the lemon tree side, thankfully.

  25. A trampoline is a fairly effective sail. Bad weather entails wind. Science ensues.

  26. Jo: [cow flies by in the storm] Cow.

    [cow flies by in the storm]

    Jo: ‘Nother cow.

    Bill: Actually I think that was the same one.

  27. That looks remarkably like our one of our tents a few years ago. While we sat in the car during a storm, the modern dome tent did a few summersaults and some of the tent poles ended up looking like pretzels. The old hiking tent from REI, before REI went yuppie, was pitched 3 yards away from the Dome tent and not only stayed put, it was dry as a bone inside. Go old REI tent!

  28. Impressive. Really impressive.

    Now just add a tornado filled with sharks…


  29. Back in March, we had a similar storm blow through here. We ended up with an 80 foot oak tree in our kitchen. And our garage. And it broke the windshield out of my car. And busted through our concrete patio. So yeah, storms suck.

  30. That is why I send the kids out to lay on the trampoline during storms. It keeps it from blowing away.

  31. Now see, this storm is what we needed here in New Jersey while I was away for the weekend. It’s still sweltering and humid here, to the point that I am unable to exercise outdoors. I would GLADLY tolerate a trampoline in the pool in exchange for lower temperatures. Or at least less humidity.

  32. DH- sorry I offended you. My logic doesn’t need adjusting though. Maybe my sense of humour does. Also, joking about sending kids out to lay on a trampoline in a storm is worlds apart from joking about verbal or physical abuse.

  33. I was all set to express my condolences at the demise of your trampoline, then I finished reading the blurb. If you find out who the owner was, tell him Random Dude #9000 from MN is sorry Mother Nature trashed his tramp?