Because I Just Went and Saw “The Wolverine,” My Top Ten List of Comic Book Films
Posted on July 26, 2013 Posted by John Scalzi 137 Comments
In order:
1. The Dark Knight
2. Superman (1978)
3. The Crow
4. Blade II
5. TIE: Men in Black and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
6. V for Vendetta
7. Red
8. Sin City
9. Hellboy
10.TIE: Josie and the Pussycats and The Avengers
Oh, don’t look at me like that. Josie and the Pussycats is a trashy pop awesome instamatic picture of the Y2K-era music business. If you don’t want any of that, that’s your problem. The Avengers doesn’t rank any higher because who the hell gives a crap about the Chitauri; they exist in that movie just so the third act can expensively demolish Manhattan. Yeah, fine, but meh. There, I said it.
List your own favorite comic book movies in the comments, if you are so moved.
(Also: The Wolverine: Much better than the first Wolverine movie. Otherwise, entertaining but don’t think too much about it.)
How was it? I love Wolverine…
Yours:
1) Good movie, not #1 though.
2) You kid, right?
3) Good, but heavily flawed movie. The best part is the cityscape.
4) I kinda say “meh” to the whole franchise now that I know how big of raging racist Wesley Snipes is.
5) Good movie. I knida like III better.
6) Good move, but it’s a paranoid leftist fantasy.
7) Red was a comic book?
8) hated it
9) Loved it and it’s sequel. Would move it up the list a bit.
10) The Avengers was good, and needs to be moved up. JatP, however, was laughably bad.
Mine:
Well, I don’t rank movies anymore. But here are my favorites:
Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Spiderman II, The Avengers, Hellboy, Hellboy II, and X-Men: First Class.
On a side note, do you hear that Bryan Singer is AGAIN reducing Kitty Pryde to a walk-on character? And this for “Days of Future Past” which is all about her!
I really hate Singer’s hatred of Pryde. She’s the best X-Man in my opinion.
Good list. BLADE II would have been pretty high up there for me as well.
Also, I think this is the first time I’ve ever read, “There, I said it,” where it wasn’t preceded by something spectacularly racist.
I hated that they changed the ending to V for Vendetta. It was fantastic up until that.
[SPOILER]
How does a supposedly authoritarian surveillance state miss millions of guy fawkes outfits (the same costume worn by the most wanted man in the country) being shipped to people everywhere. Just dumb.
(note I’m not above altering endings to satisfy the movie medium, I thought they did ok with the ending to Watchmen because it still made the same point. V for Vendetta’s ending changed the point)
I wouldn’t even say Josie & The Pussycat is particularly trashy. Some it was total genius. Never understood why it doesn’t get more credit. But then I’d include Mystery Men in my list.
I’m going to through out an old school movie – The Rocketeer. I’m not sure about what my top 10 list would be, but my top three would be Iron Man, Rocketeer, and then Avengers.
They had to change “V for Vendetta” because the comic book was set during the 1990’s. Just like Benedict Cumberbatch’s Khan made no mention of the 20th Century Eugenics Wars.
While I will admit that the Chitauri are basically the Peter Lawford of the Rat Pack that is Marvel Universe antagonists, I feel like the Avengers deserves a lot of credit, both for being the first to try (and succeed) to bring comic-book-style continuity to the big screen and being a great straight-up action movie in its own right.
Also, where the hell is Spider-Man 2 on that list, man?
I don’t mind they changed the time period, I mind they completely changed the ending which fundamentally altered the point. Keep in mind where films like Superman, Avengers, Spiderman, X-men etc are “Comic Book Movies” something like Watchmen, Sin City, and V for Vendetta are straight up adaptations. I don’t mind a little tweaking of course, sometimes you have to (Lord of the Rings being the finest possible example of making almost all the right compromises without altering the original intent too much)
Then again my not liking the ending to V for Vendetta puts me on the side of notoriously cranky Alan Moore, whose work I adore but boy can he be cranky.
1. The Dark Knight
2. American Splendor
3. Red
4. V For Vendetta
5. Akira
6. The Crow
7. Danger: Diabolik
8. The Avengers
9. Lady Snowblood
10. Road to Perdition
I can’t accept Superman over Superman II. I liked Superman and thought it did a great job, but it was the lesser half of the first two movies.
Alphabetically, ’cause I’m lazy, The Avengers, Batman Begins, The Crow, The Dark Knight, Hellboy, Hellboy II, Sin City, V for Vendetta, X-Men 2, X-Men First Class
Honorable mentions: Batman(1989), Batman Returns, The Hulk(2003), Iron Man, Spider-Man 2, X-Men and a whole bunch I’m probably forgetting.
And, forgot to mention, I have a soft spot for the Ang Lee Hulk movie. The story was utter crap, but the visuals and comic book style cuts were amazing.
I’d argue Superman isn’t even the best of the Reeve franchise. That would be Superman 2. I know that’s a matter of some heated debate though, so to each their own.
I don’t mind the inclusion of J&tP but I am tempted to take issue with RED (and not just because you’re writing it as if it’s not an acronym).
I’m all for putting the money in Warren Ellis’ pocket but there’s SO little resemblance between the story&tone of the comic and the movie that it barely seems worth saying RED is a comic book movie.
The Incredibles didn’t make your list? That remains my #1. (I also think The Mask of Zorro could make this list.)
I enjoyed “The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179025/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
Alphabetically, because I’m lazy:
A History Of Violence, The Avengers, Batman (1989), The Crow, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, Sin City, Spider-Man 2, V for Vendetta, X-Men 2
A lot of people don’t realize A History Of Violence is based on a graphic novel. Some of Cronenberg’s best work, I think. Also, kudos to Mark S. for beating me to punch on Superman vs. Superman 2. I should have refreshed.
The “Starstruck” movie will always and forever be my favorite comic book film.
Oh wait, that’s a different timeline, isn’t it? Well then, I’d have to say “Omaha the Cat Dancer”.
One word “Daredevil”.
Storm Riders (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0165499/?ref_=sr_1) would be high on my list.
Out of curiosity, why Blade II over Blade? (Notice that I’m not asking about Blade III.)
@Johne Cook
While its a great superhero movie, The Increadibles wasn’t based on a comic book.
*facepalm* Or even The Incredibles.
Superman I was definitely the better of the two for me, even with the indulgence of Brando and the sort of whacky ending. Not saying Superman 2 wasn’t great–especially its pretty much originating the now “required” city-destroying-battle at the end.
But–c’mon. He THREW HIS S at General Zod?!
What’s with that???
The walls are so soft… I think we still own a copy of Josie and the Pussycats… I KNOW WHAT WE’RE WATCHING TONIGHT!!!!
Re: Josie and the Pussycats – Any film that teams Alan Cumming and Parker Posey up as the antagonists gets a thumbs-up from me. Even if it also stars Tara Reid.
I wish the first X-Men movie got more love. I thought it was well-cast, well-paced, and just a lot of fun. I also really like First Class – very excited to see more James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender in Days of Future Past.
1. Dark Knight. Period. Christian freaking Bale, man. Heath freaking LEDGER!!!!! His Joker is one of the chief inspirations for the sadomasochistic superassassin villain who doubles as the head good guy’s unwanted lover/stalker in the book I’m writing.
2. Avengers, just because of Joss Whedon. Also, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury (the official poster boy for “Badass”, if you’re a troper). Plus, Tom Hiddelston is fantastic. JOSS WHEDON WILL PAY FOR COULSON”S DEATH!!!!!
3. Batman Returns. Michelle Pfeiffer, period. She is the other chief inspiration for the sadomasochistic superassassin villain who doubles as the head good guy’s unwanted lover/stalker in the book I’m writing. The scene where she starts to give herself a tongue bath in front of Danny deVito, and the way his eyes bulge out…That was just…WOW. Great acting, on both of them. Also, Michael Keaton is ten times the actor and twice the Batman that Val Kilmer and George Clooney were.
4. RED. Can’t wait for the sequel. Helen Mirren doing the stereotypical sexy Russian shtick. Hilarious.
5. Captain America (2011). NOT the pathetic 1990 excuse for a movie. Hugo Weaving makes for an awesome Red Skull. Cap fights Nazis! Yay! Nazis make the best mooks, because the audience wants to see them die in humiliating ways.
6. Superman 2. Kneel before Zod! Terence Stamp is a fantastic actor.
7. Batman Begins. Christian Bale and Liam Neeson kicking the shit out of each other. Plus, the dude who played Scarecrow is AMAZING.
8. HELLBOY!!!!!!! He’s cool.
9. Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. was good. Jeff Bridges was a great villain.
10. Iron Man 2. Even though the last 15 minutes go from wacky to campy to stupid and the ending’s kind of forced, Whiplash is awesome. The dude basically straps a couple of lightsabers to his arms and starts cutting up racecars ON A FORMULA ONE RACETRACK. And he beats up Iron Man, despite wearing no armor and being a mere human with what are basically lightsabers strapped to his arms. That whole scene made up for the whole rest of the movie.
I have always been partial to Mystery Men. Unfortunately, it was a small cult comic that made for a small cult film, but it was an excellent adaptation.
Oh, and, now that I think of it, another truly great adaptation was American Splendour. Paul Giammati is awesome (as always) as Harvey Pekar, and when the character actually meets his real-life inspiration, well, I love that meta shit.
I’m a big fan of the two recent Fantastic Four movies, because they remembered they were comic book movies, and that didn’t automatically mean they had to be GRIMANDGRITTYANDDARK. They could be…fun.
@ pdf:
yeah, those were fun, especially when the Human Torch pwned Dr. Doom’s ass (and not even yet another Doombot, either!). Unfortunately, Reed Richards is (a) useless and (b) horribly acted, and Jessica Alba couldn’t act if her life depended on it.
Michael Chiklis was good, though. And seeing Doom get pwned by the Silver Surfer and Human Torch was tons of fun.
@ scorpius
Good move, but it’s a paranoid leftist fantasy.
You say it like this is a bad thing.
Seriously underrated: “The Dark Knight Rises”. It should be within the Top 5.
Wait. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World didn’t make top ten?
You wrote “List your own favorite come book movies in the comments, if you are so moved” – I assume you meant “comic book movies”?
Oops. Never mind. Read it again in disbelief and saw it all tied up for 5th.
“The Losers” was surprisingly entertaining. It took itself just the right amount of comic-book serious and zipped along quite nicely. Worthy of the number 10 spot.
Idris Elba FTW and Jason Patric hams up a good villain.
I go back and forth whether Superman or Superman II is better. I sorta think of them as one movie. But you can’t beat KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.
Josie and the Pussycats is nowhere near my top 10, but I enjoyed it. It is much better than anyone expected, with the snarkiness about the music business and celebrity. It is its own parody.
I like everything Iron Man’s been in, b/c hello, Robert Downey Jr. Mark Ruffalo is also the bestest Bruce Banner since Bill Bixby. PUNY GOD.
Captain America and The Rocketeer go together in my brain. Rocketeer was very underrated.
And, the surrounding movie completely aside, Clooney is still my favorite Bruce Wayne (as opposed to Batman).
@Logan: It could have been worse. They could have gotten the Joey Bishop equivalent of alien enemies.
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
@ Christopher M.: Please don’t feed Scorpius. He’s a jerk.
I would be happy to discuss the ethics of V for Vendetta, though. It is definitely not a paranoid leftist fantasy–and I should know, I’m a socialist.
@ anybody who cares: my 2 cents on the V for Vendetta movie:
The movie tries to “clean up” V and make Norsefire even worse than it already is in the book, which kind of backfires; Norsefire comes across as even more generically evil, and V comes off as just another caped freedom fighter, rather than an insane vigilante who ignores human rights just as his enemies do. Without some of the earlier indications of V being nuts, such as V’s speech on TV (totally nerfed in the movie–instead of “kick out the fascists or I kill you all” it’s “let’s be all nice and happy and kind and loving to EVERYONE!!! Yay!”), it’s more jarring when he tortures Evey–jarring to the point that I couldn’t suspend disbelief any more.
On the plus side for the movie, Hugo Weaving is badass. The Big Bad’s relationship with the supercomputer and, in fact, the entire supercomputer subplot, is probably the weakest point of the book. However, the book had a MUCH better death for the Big Bad.
The expansion of Gordon’s role in the film was good. That was the movie’s strongest part by far.
Finally, let’s face it, Natalie Portman is attractive. Highly attractive. Distractingly attractive, in fact.
As a closet geek, I’m just glad to know that Hellboy is liked so well. Thanks for vindicating my guilty pleasures. I thought I was the only one! Apparently, I don’t hang out in the right places enough. ;-)
In alphabetical order:
American Splendor
The Dark Knight
Dredd
Ghost World
A History of Violence
Persepolis
Road to Perdition
Scott Pilgrim
Sin City
X-Men 2
I really enjoyed both Hellboy movies, even though for some reason I saw the second one first.
What about Kickass?
I didn’t like Sin City when I first saw it, but it grows on you.
@scorpius
Change 3 or 4 things and it could be a paranoid right-wing fantasy. But of course it’s neither. It’s an entirely sober authoritarian fantasy ;-)
@Robert Enders
I thought it was interesting that they went with a Section 31 reference. Yes, it’s been a consistent background element in TNG, DS9 and Enterprise, but since it’s inclusion postdates the writing of TOS, I was surprised to see it.
@admiralbeamish
That was based on a comic book? I love that movie!
@Shelley Adrienne Mimi Belsky
Lots of promise. Good casting. Crappy script.
Joe H.
Blade was awesome. Blade II sucked. Never saw
Wesley Snipes Tax AidBlade III@egl
That’s okay, Iron Man 3 was the same plot and it was based on a comic book.
@Alison
I agree. I think a lot of people forget that it was that movie that made superhero flicks profitable again.
@Floored
The Keaton Batman movies had the same problem as the Reeve Superman. The first one was better written, but the second one aced the villain scorecard. The Joker wasn’t badly written, but Jack Nicholson played Jack Nicholson, not the Joker. Not that he can play anything else.
Surprisingly good, but not #5 material. Maybe #10.
The original 1978 Superman would have been perfect if Gene Hackman hadn’t played Lex Luthor as some sort of incompetent clown. Superman 2 wasn’t as well written, but had a much better primary antagonist.
I’ll never understand the appeal of that movie.
No. Just…no. All the suck of the Iron Man trilogy was crammed into that one movie.
Ira Nayman
The source was as awful as the movie?
@Lurkertype
Since Bruce Wayne is the superficial facade Batman puts on for public consumption, I can go with that. The truth is, there is only one actor that nailed Batman, Kevin Conroy. Keaton wasn’t bad, but Christian Bale did better, IMO. Keaton got the brooding down, but not the psychotic driveness, and that’s what makes Batman compelling, he is, in his own way, as far off the deep end as the Joker.
@ Lurkertype: Oh, yeah! That was the BEST LINE OF THE WHOLE MOVIE!!!!!
HULK SMASH PUNY GOD MAN!!!!! , as my brother put it a week later while high on caffeine (don’t even ask–it involved a Frappuccino-drinking contest).
Surprised no one has mentioned the excellent “From Hell”. As with “A History of Violence”, non-superhero comic book movies tend to be overlooked.
@Floored
To each their own. But I will say this, the V movie proved she could act. She won the Saturn Award for Best Actress, and should have taken home an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, IMNSHO.
@Gulliver — Myself, I liked Blade II quite a bit, but it’s definitely a Del Toro movie, with all the pluses and minuses that entails. (Much like Hellboy, come to think of it, although Hellboy was more Mignola than Del Toro while Hellboy II was much more Del Toro than Mignola.)
Not seeing Blade III (a.k.a. Blade and the Blade Friends Super Adventure Action Hour!) was a wise, wise decision.
@ Gulliver: I AM COMING FOR YOUR THRONE AS MOST CONSOLIDATED ONE.
Need to see it sometime. Heard it’s awesome.
I thought it was good. Surprising, but good. Those idiots never did know when to leave well enough alone.
Dude, that was a HORRIBLE movie.
I was subjected to Blade 3 once. I was scarred for life. It was that bad.
Dude, “The Incredibles” has different themes, a totally different plot, and is a thousand times better. I loved that movie, not least because I am “different” enough that ignorant bigots pick on me sometimes for twitching incessantly.
Jack Nicholson was a halfassed Joker. Michelle Pfeiffer, now…she really had what the Penguin called “naked…sexual…CHARISMA!!!”
To each his own. It was a hell of a movie.
“Kneel before Zod.” AND HE DOESN”T EVEN NEED TO SHOUT TO HAM IT UP!!!
It’s good, campy fun. Great for an otherwise boring night.
Dude, Whiplash was EPIC. Sure, the entire Justin Hammer plotline was junk, but Whiplash more than made up for it, IMHO. That scene, with him striding down the track like he’s the Lord Ruler, KNOWING that he’s incredibly superior–that was awesome.
Which one was Kevin Conroy? And Bale was better than either of the dudes from the previous trilogy (I’m not mentioning the fourth one; THAT BASTARD RUINED MR. FREEZE!!!!!)
My favoritest scene in “Avengers” involves no ‘splosions, aliens, or gadgets. It’s where Tony and Bruce are discussing their lives, where Tony’s pointing out the parallels in what’s happened to both of them. It’s beautifully acted by both and I could watch a “Tony And Bruce Do Science and Chat!” movie with no big special effects. Heck, let’s have a “My Dinner With Andre” kinda thing that’s just Downey and Ruffalo in character talking.
@ Gulliver:
And that’s what makes her so hot. She’s beautiful, she’s a good actress, and she’s smart. Smart enough to get a science degree from Harvard–something in chem, if I remember correctly (too lazy to check Wikipedia).
The Chitauri might be excused, at least a bit, because they play a role in Marvel’s series, “The Ultimates,” which really is the basis for the movie (among other things, writer Mark Millar and artist Bryan Hitch decided to present Nick Fury as Samuel L. Jackson with an eyepatch…only to have their plan become reality when the series became the basis for the movie). Further, in the Ultimates, the Chitauri are shape-shifters, instead of primarily cannon fodder, perhaps a necessary elision so as to make the movie shorter than 4-5 hours?
@Floored
Psychology. More interestingly, she has an Erdos number of 5. But there’s more to attraction than intelligence. Personality is just as important. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’m sure she’s a swell person, but you have your je ne sais quoi and I have mine.
@little boy
Samuel L. Jackson is the Fury by which all all other Furys will be measured.
@ Mr. Scalzi, because this tweet is just hilarious and I’m not on Twitter to comment on it:
Same here. ;)
Who wouldn’t? I mean, I know at least three women–well, one woman and two technically-girls (if you’re going by voting age)–who have made it abundantly clear that they would jump at the chance to do Hugh Jackman, despite the fact that he is obviously gay (as one of said friends said while hanging upside-down from a couch with french fries stuck up her nose for a bet). The conversation when they said so was after an X-Men movie marathon, and we were all slightly drunk from what turned out to be not root beer, but my dad’s Heineken (don’t even ask how we confused the two drinks–it involved a chemistry experiment, some African fruit, and a multimiter), but I’m pretty sure the sentiment was genuine.
I also know a gay dude who had a full-size promo poster of Wolverine over his bed, which I find to be mildly disturbing.
Supergirl, Barbarella, and Batman Forever.
@ Gulliver:
Intelligence is the primary thing for me. I can’t realistically envision myself in a relationship with someone who can’t understand what I mean by “atypically bunoselenodont dentition”.
Because Samuel L. Jackson is a badass with mad kickass leet skillz of pure awesome.
I’m pretty sure that Millar and Hitch knew what they were doing when they pitched their deal to Samuel L. Jackson. They knew from the start that they would get both a cool comic-book Fury and a leet badass movie Fury in one glorious package.
@Floored, that sounds like a perfect place to have a poster of Wolverine.
Hugh Jackman is one of those people who transcend sexual definitions as we know it. Regardless of whether you are straight, gay, or bi, or Hugh is straight, gay, or bi, everyone wants him.
He’s buff, he can act, he can sing and dance, and he seems nice.
the bonus storyline in “the incredibles” with the babysitter was based on a comic, though!: http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/4182173.html
probably not, actually, just a remarkably similar premise to a kyle baker story done years earlier (at above link).
“ghost world” is in my top ten comic book movies (as is “tank girl,” which no-one’s said yet), but conversely, “art school confidential” is probably my #1 least favourite comic-book movie.
and scorpio, you did get your obligatory “i’m the right-wing commenter” lick in, above, but you get at least 10-15 posts worth of credit with me for your kitty pryde remark :)
@Gulliver “That’s okay, Iron Man 3 was the same plot and it was based on a comic book.”
I can’t tell if you’re joking or have just never watched The Incredibles and/or IM3.
@Floored
I’ll just leave this here. But yes, The Incredibles is a better movie.
Yes, and that was the only good scene in over two hours. Well, okay, Scarlett Johansson’s ridiculous “martial arts” dance was sort of awesome.
Cat person, eh? :D
I still maintain that the Bashir vs. Section 31 arc was one the the best multi-episode arcs in the whole franchise.
He voiced Batman in Batman: The Animated Series. Watch it soon, thank me later. They even did Mr. Freeze well.
Well, sadly, we were not meant to be, because I had to look up bunoselenodont.
Intelligence is an essential component for me too, which is part of why I’m marrying a woman fluent in six languages (not counting dialects). But intelligence is only one term of the chemical equation for aphrodisiacs. Hugh Jackman may be another term.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go mistake some single-malt Scotch for rootbeer since it’s my friend’s turn to buy drinks.
@egl
Half joking.
@ Gulliver: Going to bed now, but you made some good points that I want to address at length tomorrow. If I forget, feel free to call me an asshole. ;)
@Gulliver: Forgot about Kick-Ass. Definitely worthy of an honorable mention at least.
Scalzi,
Figures you would choose the train wreck that was :The Dark Knight: for your favorite…I get so sick of people saying that it was so great. The plot was so full of holes and the acting was mediocre…the only thing it had going for it was that one of its leads died before it came out giving it that factor.
Horrible that people think that movie is anything but average. But at least you go and redeem yourself with 1978 Superman and The Crow next.
That’s a valid point about the Chitauri. Even Joss Whedon admits that they were kind of stuck in there out of obligation. Still, The Avengers gets bonus points just for finally being the good Hulk movie.
Some others I particularly liked:
X-Men and especially X-Men 2.
Spider-Man 2.
I guess Mystery Men does count; I liked that.
The first Iron Man was enjoyable; I haven’t seen #3 yet.
The Christopher Reeve Superman movies are all seriously flawed in various ways, but Reeve’s performance as Superman/Clark Kent is so great that it largely carries the first one, and then the second one, while dumber, gives us the Terence Stamp Zod. After that they get too dumb to be good, though I do give #3 bonus points for trying to do something different with sort of wacky Silver Age nonsense.
I liked the Tim Burton Batman movies and the first two Christopher Nolan ones when I saw them, but I’m not sure whether they stand up to long reflection. The 1966 movie made between seasons of the TV series is awesome, though.
I went to see Red2 tonight, and it did not disappoint.
Oy, I forgot about the Randian-influenced “The Incredibles”
http://reason.com/blog/2004/11/23/ayn-rand-and-the-incredibles
1. Watchmen – the 215 minute cut. Yes #1, although only when considered strictly as an adjunct to the book, i.e., handy to have when you’ve lost your reading glasses.
2. V for Vendetta
3. Kick-Ass
4. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
5. Sin City
6. Hellboy (Ron Perlman! Yay!)
7. Persepolis
8. The Dark Knight
9. Hellboy 2 (Ron Perlman! Yay!)
10. Men In Black
11? Hellboy 3 (Probably!)
Another vote for Mystery Men, which I can practically quote start to finish.
I’ll add The Mask and Tank Girl, but it’s been so long since I watched either of them that I’ll admit to being afraid to revisit in case the suck fairy’s been at ’em.
Guilty pleasure; The Phantom, because I love pulpy goodness and Billy Zane and it was fun dammit.
@ Gulliver: OK, let’s get this over with:
For someone like me, “The Incredibles” is quite an important movie because it makes a point for accepting people who are different in different ways (i.e. ADHD, with Tourette’s or similar disorders), and not just ghettoizing them as having “syndromes”. Heck, the villain even calls himself “Syndrome”!
As someone with Tourette’s and ADHD, I have to say that “The Incredibles” is my favorite superhero movie ever.
I am a massive fan of Black Widow. She’s really well done in the movies–Scarlett Johansson makes her attractive without being tacky, which is impressive. To this day, I am certain that the zipper on her bodysuit was always at the EXACT SAME LINK every single time she was wearing the suit in “The Avengers”.
Yeah, and my mother says that I have good taste in women, if not in clothing.
Oh, absolutely. You know, my friends took a poll, and we agreed that not only is Section 31 the Ann Coulter of Starfleet, but it is also quite possibly the second most dangerous villain in the entire franchise (barring Species 8472, of course). Khan came in as # 3.
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Will do!
Well, now you know!
Oh, yeah. Scarlett Johansson being the female version.
Oops, typo on my last post. Preview button is my friend, damn it!
Actually, what we’re seeing from the Obama administration (siccing the IRS on political “enemies”, spying on reporters, illegally hacking James Rosen’s email etc.) Section 31 is the Obama administration of Starfleet.
Wait, that’s not fair. At least S31 was competent outside of their malevolence and actually cared about the society they were cutting all ethics in protecting.
Wow, you seem like someone I might like. If you are ever in south-central Virginia, stop by for a beer. So Hell Boy is good? Haven’t seen that one, but I’m a del Torro fan.
*types up flaming rant*
*thinks*
*deletes rant*
*waits for Mallet to Lovingly Correct obnoxious conservative jerk*
@ Mark H. Walker: They were great movies in the same way that “The Avengers” was a great movie: Lots of action, didn’t take themselves too seriously. Also, Hellboy is badass.
Del Torro is good with the explosive stuff–you totally need to see Pacific Rim. It’s brainless, but totally spectacular. Definitely worth my ten bucks.
Both A History of Violence and The Road to Perdition are based on comic books published by the now defunct Paradox Press imprint from DC.
While I like Hellboy and Hellboy II, they add some complexities to the character that aren’t in the original comic book. I’m not convinced that this improves the stories. They are vey much del Toro movies.
Tank Girl has been shown a lot recently on some local movie channel. I don’t enjoy it as much as I thought I did originally. Naomi Watts is still swell as Jet Girl.
The Losers is pretty much what The A-Team wanted to be. A better movie on a lower budget.
Reblogged this on The Ramblings of an Unrepentant McNabbist.
@Gulliver
Yes, Road to Perdition was written by Max Allen Collin and art by Richard Piers Rayner. It was pretty good.
Whoever put LOEG down obviously didn’t read the comic cause the movie was an insult to Alan Moore’s vision. It was a great comic serious and it’s potential was not reached cinematically.
My list:
Watchmen, Sin City, 300, Dick Tracy, V for Vendetta, the phantom, the Dark Knight, Spider man, man of steal and the first X men.
1. Scott Pilgrim
2. Kick Ass
3. Sin City
4. Watchmen (I know, I know, but I liked it,)
5.The Dark Knight
6. Captain America
7. Iron Man
8. Pacific Rim (I know it’s not from a comic book, but I would totally read that comic book)
9. Spider Man (Toby Maguire)
10. Red
Not one mention of Howard the Duck? Not one?
@ oransands: NEVER MENTION THAT ABOMINATION!!!!!!!!!
Popeye. Great director, great cast, great writer.
Yes, I know it doesn’t make any sense, but so what?
@devnet – If you say that The Dark Knight popularity was boosted because of the unfortunate death of a lead actor, then you should acknowledge the same unfortunate circumstance for The Crow.
ps. (I personally think that Heath Ledger made an unforgettable Joker, but there were some gaping plot holes in TDK. Also I love The Crow, but that’s also in part to nostalgia. It can’t rain all the tiiimmmee….)
Very amusing to see what just doesn’t get mentioned, even by the obvious trolls. No Wanted; no Thor; no Superman III or IV.
On the brighter side, I would throw an honorable mention to Dr. Mordred; which would have been the second Dr. Strange movie if not for the rights issues.
Well, I enjoyed Wanted. It was a nice throwback to my early adolescence in the ’80s when cheesy action movies could get released with an R rating, and my mom would let me watch them on cable, because a) she didn’t have to take me to a theater, and b) she figured I could handle witnessing >30 seconds of boobies and about 35 utterances of the word “fuck” without completely destroying my psyche. I also enjoyed Thor,/i> immensely. Neither of those is top 10, sure, but neither are they Spiderman 3.
Personally, I’m surprised at all the love for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Has there ever been a “protagonist” more thoroughly despicable than Scott? I hated him so much I just turned off the movie halfway through, something I’ve done maybe 5 times in my life. Hell, I made it to the end of Battlefield Earth, people! One of the other films on that list was Kick Ass. But I guess if you enjoy watching a 12-year-old girl do her best impression of a adult male misogynist douchcanoe, then that’s your movie, I suppose.
@Mark Wyman: I enjoyed Thor but it mostly functioned as a necessary preamble to The Avengers. The same is true of Captain America. They also both suffer from origin-story burnout. This is also why I’ve never seen The Amazing Spider-Man and probably won’t see Man Of Steel. “Yeah yeah, radioactive spider, planet go boom, whatever.” Batman Begins would also have this problem except it’s executed SO WELL it gets a pass.
@Doc Rocketscienc,
I’m glad someone had the same problems with Scott Pilgrim and Kick ass as I do, for the same reasons. SP annoyed me while KA depressed me.
And, I also enjoyed Thor, if for merely visual reasons. I saw how they presented Asgard and thought “Damn, that’s a near perfect reproduction of the way Asgard was presented in the comic books I grew up on in the 80s”.
Great list. I’d add Red 2 and the first Spiderman.
@Floored
I’m gonna skip Pacific Rim. I couldn’t even watch the trailer without my brain going “But, but… SCALING LAWS!!!”
@oransands
Howard the Duck is in a league of its own. A league that asks Was that last scene the worst scene in cinematic history? and answers No, the next one is worse…for an hour and forty-some minutes straight. It’s not merely crap, it’s a work of art.
I have a soft spot for Tank Girl
@ Gulliver: But, dude. It was a movie about giant robots hitting giant aliens. Over and over again. It was AWESOME!!!!!
The action scenes are the sole reason to see the movie, and quite a good set of reasons at that.
On “Howard the Duck”:
That was the shittiest movie ever. Period. A gargantuan mountain of the purest horse shit imaginable. The sheer amount of awful in that movie is impossible to top. Not even “Sharknado” could match Howard’s sheer, colossal awfulness.
Speaking of “Sharknado” and related memes: Kickstarter wouldn’t let me start a “Snailquake” fundraiser drive, because I lack a credit card number (being a minor, and all). TEN THOUSAND CURSES!!!!!
No Iron Man, huh? Your taste is interesting, John. I liked Iron Man, X Men, the Incredibles, The Shadow (that was a comic book movie, right?). There’s a lot I haven’t seen still, though, so I reserve my right to add to this list.
Technically, it might be more accurately considered a “comic strip” movie, rather than a “comic book” movie, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Modesty Blaise (1966), starring Monica Vitti and Terence Stamp, with Dirk Bogarde as the supervillain.
Also, I’m going to put in a vote for Shogun Assassin (1980), which is technically cobbled together from the first two Japanese films based on the Lone Wolf and Cub manga.
Second any votes for “The Losers”, and add one in for “The Spirit”, with Gabriel Macht in the lead role and Samuel L. Jackson as the Octopus. I had a lot of fun watching it.
@Floored
Hmm…while you have my condolences, I feel the world may have just dodged a bullet…a very slow bullet.
I am just going to unlurk for a brief moment and put out a quiet vote for the guilty pleasure that is Speed Racer. Also, The Incredibles FTW.
Doc RocketScience
Re: Worse than Scott? How about Thomas Covenant (from Steven R. Donaldson)? Also, if we include anime there’s a lot to be tempted by….
On Howard the Duck: But… ducktits!
@ Brian:
NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NononononononononononoNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER MENTION THAT HORRIBLE MOVIE!!! EVER!!!!!!! I burned THREE HOURS of my life watching that movie and sitting in stunned horror on the couch, staring mutely at a fuzz-filled TV screen. I was overcome by the sheer horror of the fact that I PAID FIVE BUCKS TO RENT THAT LOAD OF SHIT!!!!!
@Floored: Because that’s what friends are for.
↑ Er, NSFW ↑
@ Gulliver: Please, stop. Dude, I’m twitching just thinking about that clip.
New sub-topic: Ryan Reynolds vs. Chris Evans. How can one actor (objectively the “bigger” one) star in three crappy superhero films (Blade Trinity, Wolverine: Origins and The Green Lantern) while the other has hit it large in the same genre( FF 1 & 2, Captain America and Avengers).
You don’t have to apologize about Josie to me–frankly, I liked it better than The Crow or any of the Blade movies. Yes, it was camp, but it was the right kind of camp.
Do The Incredibles or Mystery Men really count? I was under the impression that those were original characters, not actually based on a comic. And yes, the answer to that question might affect my rankings.
Dark Knight may very well be the greatest comic-based movie ever, but, while the Joker was great, I was a little disappointed at the portrayal of Batman himself, especially after watching Batman Begins.
Personally, I might have to give the #1 spot to Men in Black. Not because I want to claim it’s a better movie than DK, but because it’s more my cup of tea.
Iron Man would definitely be on my list, but then I have a bit of an I’m-not-gay-but-I’d-do-him man-crush on RDJr. (You guys can have all the Hugh Jackman you want as long as you leave RDJr. to me!) Also, shout-outs to Spiderman I, Kickass, V, Avengers, Superman II, Hellboy, Sin City, and Tank Girl (in no particular order).
For a dark horse candidate, I’ll throw out the extremely obscure 1978 made-for-television version of Dr. Strange. Yes, I know a lot of people hate it because it wasn’t completely true to the comic, but they really did focus on the characters years before anyone else dared do that in a comic book movie, and even though they re-invented the character, they did a good job with it, IMO. Also, the FX, while every bit as cheesy as you would expect for the year and the venue (TV), did a great job of capturing Jack Kirby’s style. Again, IMO.
I’m sure I’m forgetting one or two, but that’ll do for now.
@Scorpius: Do the Fantastic Four films really count as “hitting it large?” They were pretty terrible. I probably prefer Green Lantern to either of, which is very faint praise indeed.
@ Brian: The FF movies made tons and tons of money. Not “Avengers”-level dough, but lots of money. And to be fair, Dr. Doom was OK, and Chris Evans was actually decent, and the dude playing the Thing clearly loved the role and did his (respectable if not great) best. Not horrible movies, but certainly bad.
I have to admit, btw, that seeing the Human Torch and the Thing pwn Dr. Doom’s ass in the finale of “FF2: Rise of the Shitty Plot” was fun, despite the cheesy special effects.
Far superior to the entirety of Green Lantern, at any rate. I HATED that movie. The dude has whatever his imagination can cook up to hit Parallax with, and he chooses a giant green FIST????? Dude, that’s the Hulk’s personal instrument of asskicking. Nobody take’s Hulk’s symbol. At least nuke the world-destroying monster with a green magic nuke, man. Anything but a fist.
You are absolutely correct about Josie and the Pussycats and all my friends think I am insane for liking it so much (until I make them watch it and they see what I was talking about).
Oh, and to all you people who say you’re turned on by brains: you do realize that’s the sort of thing a zombie would say, right? :D
@ Xtifr: So what? Intelligent people are attractive to me. Mmmmm…braiiinnnnnssssss…
;)
The following list of movies Spike Lee recommends for every filmmaker might interest you all:
http://bit.ly/19pGC6e
Then again, maybe it won’t.
My little Scott Pilgrim loving heart is broken at the fact you tied Scott Pilgrim with Men in Black, a movie I continue to think is somehow completely different for everyone else who saw it from me as I found it staggeringly dull and unfunny but everyone I speak to loved it.
What am I missing about Men in Black? Does anyone else hate it?
@Scorpius
Funnily enough I’d agree that the ending of V For Vendetta veered into liberal fantasy. The original comic was uncompromisingly anarchist, and had violent rioting and looting when the surveillance cameras went down instead of the peaceful anti-government march of the film.
@Gulliver
I had the exact same thought about Pacific Rim. It was immediately followed by “Shut up brain! It’s awesome!”
One of my favorite comic adaptations was the pilot for the Amazing Screw-On Head, which sadly was not picked-up. It absolutely nailed Mignola’s style and had voice work by the likes of Paul Giamatti, David Hyde-Pierce, and Patton Oswalt. It does seem to be on YouTube in three parts.
Yeah, I can’t resist listing.
1. The Dark Knight
2. Iron Man
3. Spiderman 2
4. Amazing Spiderman
5. Avengers
6. Hellboy
7. Mask of the Phantasm
8. RED
9. Electra
10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
There is something in the back of my head telling me I’ve missed something.
Alas, I don’t feel like I can put Incredibles on this list. I make a distinction between comic book movies and super hero movies. Red qualifies, to me, because it is plotted and paced more like a comic book. (As well as its origins.) Something X-men should be there, and while I loved all of the x-men movies so far, no one of them is really exceptional.
@heckblazer,
I was referring more to the idea of a “Christian Fascist” state that appeared in the film (as if “Christian” and “Fascist” could exist in the same system given that they’re so diametrically opposed to each other. Fascism being explicitly opposed to Christianity) that oppresses gays, Muslims and free-thinkers.
But peaceful marches? The Conservative/Libertarian Tea Party marches were peaceful and civil while the OWS were violent, dangerous and criminal.
I wish I could choose a top ten.. but movies always depend on my mood at the time. I try–not always successfully (cough cough Mystery Men)to except them for what they are. I have a friend who is a big Harry Potter fan. She didn’t like the movies…. but I did for the simple fact I understood that one medium doesn’t always equal another.
• The Avengers
• Iron Man/Iron Man 3
• Superman I & II (Richard Donner Cuts)
• The Rocketeer/Captain America: The First Avenger
• Hellboy/Hellboy II: The Golden Army
• Batman Begins
• X-Men/X2
• The Losers
• RED
• Scott Pilgrim vs The World
Josie & the Pussycats? Really? I’ve never been able to click on the link to the trailer.
@xtifr Mystery Men is loosely based on comic book characters by Bob Burden, creator of The Flaming Carrot comic books. There were Mystery Men comic stories before the movie.
Definition of comic book movies is a bit up to the person compiling the list. I’m surprised no one has mentioned Stardust. Is that because no one likes it or because it was more of an illustrated story that came out in a serial format? Or do we just default to superheroes when we think of comic books?
I’d love to see you compare what each of those two top films gives you, how they do it, what could be better about them, and how they can both be awesome at the same time.
@ Scorpius:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Bull. Shit. You cannot compare hate rallies by [mostly] old people that were allowed by our government (which still contains way too many uncompromising conservatives) to anti-corruption rallies that were organized by [mostly] young people and were (like every other anti-corruption rally in the world) promptly attacked by the government. Stop drawing false equivalences:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_equivalence
I would give you the rationalwiki version, but the site is down for maintenance.
On your first? point: Christian fundies and fascists may hate each other, but only because they are competitors for the same market (oppressive assholes). Jerry Falwell is just like Jospeh Goebbels, except he gets his lunacy from a magic sky daddy instead of a raving tyrant. Both fundies and fascists are, at their cores, about taking away other people’s rights and having the head of the religion/party rule as a dictator.
For literary examples of religious fascism (if real life is not good enough), I point you to Robert A. Henlein and Brandon Sanderson (especially his Mistborn trilogy).
@ Mr. Scalzi: If this is over the line, I am genuinely sorry. Please Mallet me and/or ban me if you think that I am going too far here.
Or, alternatively, Floored, you could just let it go. I don’t know why John is letting Scorpy run headlong over the line of “off topic” on this thread either. In fact, I’m surprised John didn’t preemptively restrict comments to lists only, with no critiquing of other people’s lists allowed (like the “Rank Scalzi’s Novels” thread). That doesn’t mean every post demands a response. That’s how you get flame wars. And besides, I know you’re relatively new to Whatever, but you’ve been here long enough to know that when Scorp comes completely out to left field (right field?) like that, he’s doing it either because he literally cannot help himself, or because he wants to get a rise out of someone.
A good rule of thumb (that we all need to be reminded from time to time): if you really feel like you need to append an apology to the site host at the end of a post, then you really don’t need to submit the post at all.
The Punisher: War Zone. Much better than the Thomas Jane/John Travolta fiasco, which they rightfully ignored in favor of inserting the Punisher’s real origin story.
Clearly, you lot have not the sophistication to see the genius that was Howard The Duck.
@ Wally: Please, never mention that horror. I still have nightmares.
@ Doc RocketScience: Good point. I guess this round goes to Scorpy, because he got the rise out of me.
@ scorpius
I’ll just note the historical existence of Francoist Spain, a government that was both fascist and deeply entwined with the Catholic Church.
It occurs to me that there is a distinction between good comic book movie and good adaptations of comic books. As an example, I’ve heard that Constantine is a perfectly fine horror film, but is horrible as an adaptation as it has almost nothing to do with the comic book.
I think I have a new number one: Zombie Island . . . In Space. http://www.foxadhd.com/#!/shows/axecop?show=2 It accomplishes in ten minutes what takes most films 3 hours.
I didn’t know Red or Men in Black were comic books first. All the others I’d read long before they were made into movies. Now, this makes me curious about how the comic versions of MiB and Red are. Also, as was brought up before, my list would depend on the qualifications. If we’re talking good comic book movies, then Constantine would be #10, but if we’re talking good adaptations of comic books…then no.
My favorite Bruce Wayne was Kilmer. If you only need a voice, then Conroy all the way. I think Wayne in Batman Beyond is actually the apotheosis of the character. He was always a grumpy old man inside, now the exterior matches the interior.
Best comic book line of all time, Robin in TAS is amazed that Wayne has never seen “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Batman replies: I could never get past the title.
Batman Begins, Watchmen, Kick Ass, Dark Knight, Thor, Incredibles, Blade II, elements of both Hellboys, Superman (1978). I’ll leave the 10th spot open for whichever one I forgot.
Possible Number 10’s: Iron Man, Man of Steel (minus the Kevin Costner bits), Scott Pilgrim, Batman Forever (yeah, I went there), whichever super awesome movie I forgot.
Red meat for flaming: Amazing Spider Man is way better than the Raimi trilogy, way better, except for no Bonesaw or Bruce Campbell.
@ PrivateIron:
The wrestling scene in the first movie was the ONLY thing I liked about the first spider-man trilogy. Otherwise, it’s ASM all the way.
The Men in Black comics weren’t very notable. The main characters investigated more paranormal events instead of rogue extraterrestrials. More violence. Fewer jokes. I’m sure there’s someone out there who thinks the MiB movie franchise ruined their favorite comics.
RED was a Warren Ellis mini-series. Not the first Warren Ellis property I would have turned into a movie, but the royalties help support his daughter’s horse.
Most movies based on comics only have a nodding acquaintance with their source material. (I think many would be better accepted if no one knew about the comics they were based on.) Given how long they’ve been publishing the chosen superhero titles, it’s almost impossible to somehow cram all the background info into a movie.
Flix with more serious commentary about the consequences of superhero themes:
– Chronicle
– Mirageman (Chilean)
John, I think these are much more at the depth of a Scalzi Novel than your list. ;-)
My all-time favorite comic book movie is “Superman: The Movie”.
I’m also very much in love with “The Rocketeer” and “Spider-Man 2” and “Dick Tracy”. Yeah, “Dick Tracy”. Got a problem with that?
Yay, Josie and the Pussycats love! It’s one of my guilty pleasure movies. I think the AV Club pretty much nailed it in a retroactive analysis a couple years ago. It’s not a great movie, but it’s a lot of fun, smarter than it looks, and has probably the best Tara Reid role of all time.
I tried to get a friend to watch it, but he couldn’t get past the DuJour intro. Which, granted, is incredibly obnoxious and grating, but that was kinda the point.
I’m so woefully under-qualified to answer this that I can only come up with six for the list:
1) Watchmen
2) Sin City
3) American Splendor
4) Hellboy
5) The Amazing Screw-On Head
6) The Dark Knight
The others that have been batted around here fall into one of three categories for me: A) Haven’t seen it; B) Didn’t like it enough to include it on the list; C) Didn’t like it at all (I’m looking at you Road to Perdition).
Buckaroo Bonzai. It’s a movie based on a comic book that was made after the movie. Fuckit. It’s not my planet, monkeyboy! Conference Room!
Constantine. Oh, come on, you know you liked it.
Hellboy. It’s fun being a brick.
1. The Incredibles
2. The Dark Knight Rises
3. Kick-Ass
4. V is for Vendetta
5. Hellboy
• The Avengers
• Iron Man
• Red
• Dredd (the recent one with Karl Urban not the Stallone one)
Are we allowed to bash the Wolverine movie? ‘Cause i just saw it last night and half way through I was pretty bored with the “OMG he has to go rescue this helpless girl AGAIN” plot. The best part was the last five minutes after the initial credits, when Magneto and Charles show up. I mean, I get what they were trying to do with the Jean flashbacks, but I just couldn’t stick with the rest of the movie. My other gripe involves a big plot spoiler so I’ll just save it for Twitter.
OTOH, Hugh Jackman IS pretty darn awesomely buff. I loved seeing the contrast between Wolverine Hugh and musical-actor Hugh when he was on Letterman a while back. He’s not gay BTW (*not that there’s anything wrong with that*) – he said in the interview that his wife loves it when he bulks up for the Wolverine movies too, hee hee.