The Fatberg Saga, By John Scalzi and Paul Sabourin

Posted on August 6, 2013    Posted by      46 Comments

It goes a little something like this.

I’m pretty sure this will be my next Hugo-nominated work.

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46 Comments on “The Fatberg Saga, By John Scalzi and Paul Sabourin”

  3. I did not shut my door before reading, and now the person in the office across from mine is staring. Entirely my fault, and yet I choose to blame you, Paul, and Fatberg. Thanks.

  5. GROSS.

    I did like the reference to the multiverse. That should have trumped Paul and Storm rather nicely. It was below the belt on their part to wax metaphysical, and then to play the ‘your mom’ card at the end–an act born of desperation and a dry brainpan.

  6. I’m so impressed with your ability to engage in “tailelogical” oneupmanship without flushing.

  8. You know, if you guys need something to do, you could come vacuum and mop my floors… But it was funny, I have to admit. Although icky. Yes, really.

  9. Hilarious watching this develop in real time on Twitter. “In the beginning, there was Fatberg…”

  11. (Grr… URL dropped…) The relevant episode of Doctor Who was titled “Partners in Crime,” and the “Fatbergs” were dubbed “Adipose,” coming from a weight loss arrangement. Your fat can just walk away…

  13. Since I firmly believe that nitpicking technical details is the highest form of nerd praise:

    “Planck’s time” isn’t typically how the term is used. Planck time is a unit of time, so while it makes sense to say “A Planck time after the big bang…,” saying “At Planck’s time, a fraction of a second post big bang…” reads a little like “At second, a fraction of a minute post flushing…”.

    Please take this to indicate the extreme pleasure with which I read the above exchange.

  14. This should have been tagged NSFW, since I just fell out of my chair laughing as my director walked by. Hopefully, he just thinks I’m insane.

  18. Fatberg? Why not Zoidberg?

    Yes, Comedy Central outbid SyFy to have Fatberg replace Futurama…

  20. SNAILQUAKE: THE FATBERG CHRONICLES!!!!!

    Needed to get that out.

  21. “In other news, several local restaurants have unexpectedly closed, citing ‘sudden and dramatic increases of waste disposal costs’.”

  22. Oh. Oh my. I go to the movies in Kingston. And to dinner. And shopping. And all this time, the adiposity has lurked beneath. Oh, sweet lord.

    Godspeed, Fatberg rangers. Destroy that mofo.

  23. YOU KNOW MY MOM WAS KILLED IN THE FATBERG WARS (runs away, sobbing)

    ———–

    No. Obese-Wan lied. Your mother… was seduced by the Fat Side of the Force. She ceased to be Mother and “became” Fatberg. When that happened, the good woman who was your mother was destroyed. So what Obese-Wan told you was true… from a certain point of view.

  25. I really don’t recommend reading the linked article while eating.

    Unless you have a toothbrush handy. But even then don’t do it.

    (Yes, I have either a weak stomach or an overactive imagination, but either way, I admire your ability to make funny out of yuck).

  26. Actually…the Fatberg movie could work. It has been since 1988 since there was a “blob” movie. It could make an important ecological message! You know, sorta like, “Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster” but with dirty diapers and fat.

  29. Let’s see- 6:19 am to 7:43 am per the time stamps- I think you just made it under the wire for Dramatic Presentation: Short Form. Take that, Dr. Who!

  30. I have resisted Twitter lo these many years. My resistance grows weak when I see something like this.

  31. fortunately for us, there is something seriously wrong with you. please,never fix it.

  32. The only thing that could have made this better would have been two more participants, whose names were George and Ringo.

  34. Bravo!

    Get Subterranean to bind it in a limited edition leather with a custom slip case, fully illustrated with signatures, I’ll buy it.

  38. I still think it’s a crying shame that you (perhaps collaborating with Paul, Storm, Wil Wheaton, or the like) have not actually written a ridiculous movie for SyFy. Perhaps they have offered you one, but are concerned that the Scalzi Brand would be tarnished by the Ouroboros of intentionally/unintentionally funny that is the stock and trade of SyFy movies. Perhaps you have already written one under a pseud? Nah; you’d take credit for “Sharknado” if you’d been involved.

  39. I’m sure there’s an absolutely hilarious Titanic joke to be made here but I’m too nauseated to think one up. I’d like to keep that fettuccine alfredo I just ate flowing in the right direction. Ugh.

    Anyway, you clearly had him on the ropes with the Bhagavad Gita thing. He had no choice but to go after Mamma Scalzi (hero of the Fatberg Wars, may she rest in peace). XD

  42. I think you missed the big news, Discovery Channel in its continuing attempts to elevate the world of science and learning is going to kick off Fatberg Week with a “documentary” including “found footage” of a 15 tonne fatberg attack on a fishing boat

  45. He had sex with your mom, *and* your mom was killed in the fatberg wars, so I have to ask, when… I mean, how… I mean… no. This just goes places I really don’t want to go.

WHATEVER


Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, editor – AMS
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