Categories Uncategorized Having a Great Time at Worldcon Post author By John Scalzi Post date September 1, 2013 63 Comments on Having a Great Time at Worldcon Wish you were here. Photo by Crystal Huff. Share: By John Scalzi I enjoy pie. View Archive → ← Busy at Worldcon → Hey, I Won the Best Novel Hugo. 63 replies on “Having a Great Time at Worldcon” Gamma rabbit spots field of churros? Awesome pic :) By the way, the chance that some dudebro will take that picture and try to make a meme out of it: High. That said meme will be exceedingly unfunny: Even higher. You cracks me up! That is a great photo! :-) Crystal takes great pictures. She must be doing a photo booth at the con. She’s a good friend of mine. Say hi for me. Love the picture. Gamma rabbit with ears it’s like you set that up for dudebros. Great smile. You look like you are really relaxed and having fun. Awesome. The matching ears are an excellent touch. Dude. You look good here! Rock on! Meme: “Hey, is that an iPhone in your pocket…” “…or are youOMGDUDEWHATTHEFUCK” Okay, I think I like the beard gone. Took about 10 years off you. Quote from my mom: “You are one sexy gamma rabbit, Scalzi. Let’s see another with that shirt off!” Apparently women find you attractive with that new hairdo. I still prefer Vintage Scalzi. Are you wearing contacts? Or did you just dump the glasses for the photo? The internet MUST KNOW! John, you ever think that even with all of the work you’ve produced, the accomplishments you’ve attained (SFWA, etc.), the charitable contributions you’ve made… history might best remember you as “Gamma Rabbit”? :) P.S. I like the clean-shaven look. When/why the change? [quote] By the way, the chance that some dudebro will take that picture and try to make a meme out of it: High. That said meme will be exceedingly unfunny: Even higher. [/quote] The chance that Mr. Scalzi will then transform said unfunny meme into another devastatingly hilarious post in which he skewers the poor dudebro on Whatever: Virtual certainty. Can’t wait to see it! Hey, you’ve lost weight, congrats! Greg Leon Guerrero, my very thoughts! Colonel Snuggledorf, I think you meant <blockquote> and </blockquote>. And I share your hope, though Scalzi doesn’t tend to repeat posts of a given type very often. Ken.C, ah, that contributes to the youthening, I expect. That’s the best photo of you I’ve ever seen (seriously – you look awesome). This needs to be your author photo on books. Oh, and I wish I were there too. Glad you’re having a great time! Thanks for the tip, Xopher. The was guesswork on my part, based on what works on a different site I frequent. It did still convey what I wanted it to, albeit not very attractively. Good to know the proper method to use in future. Even without those pretty purple ears, that is a really great picture of you. Keeper! (Oh, and congrats on the fire hands. All the best people have fire hands.) good pic. you totes look my age now (34) Cute and scary at the same time. I like it. Try the ears with the green dress. What Greg Leon and Xopher said, though I thought it was the light purple being a good color. :) I wish I was there too. Nice picture, but you really should try jewel tones next time. [Deleted – JS] Fellow commenters, a word of warning. nighthawk is one of RSHD’s guys. Don’t click the link. Thanks, Xopher. I feel kind of grimy just from having Googled it. By the way, the chance that some dudebro will take that picture and try to make a meme out of it: High. That said meme will be exceedingly unfunny: Even higher. “John Scalzi’s interpretive dance version of the Con’s harassment policy”…? It took me till this photo to realize that Gamma Rabbit has been doing Jazz Hands all along. FosseFosse1, FosseFosse2, Martha Graham… Does Mr. Scalzi have a banhammer as well as a Mallet of Loving Correction for assholes like nighthawk? I clicked on the link, and have spent the last hour shouting Klingon slogans in order to cleanse my soul. I feel unclean just existing in the same world as RSHD and his thralls. @Floored Why waste time giving the morlock traffic? He just posts the road to his hole in the ground and wants you to follow it. For an alpha he’s prettty damned omega. Floored, Scalzi will clean up the cat vomit when he gets home from his trip. Don’t get into it. Also, I did warn you. @ Xopher: I didn’t see your warning in time. I wish I had. I just wish that the RSHD’s mooks would leave Mr. Scalzi alone–he has better things to do with his time, and I know from personal experience that cleaning up cat vomit is a HORRIBLE job. I’m fond of the slightly-archaic term ‘lickspittle’ to discuss these people. But we really shouldn’t get too far into this discussion. In the absence of Scalzi to police derails, we must police ourselves. Ah, I see that Mr. Scalzi has cleaned up the turd. Thank you for doing your part to make the Intraweebs a better place (as I seem to have failed today). Scalzi ftagn! @ Xopher: Good point. I’m going to go watch ST: First Contact now. Because damn it, the Borg Queen is HOT, even with her two-part body and cybernetics. She really proves that being attractive is mostly attitude. Floored: let’s all put on bunny ears and shout Klingon slogans while watching the Borg! (I’ve been sitting around 2days with my sprained ankle elevated; I think I’m getting a little stir crazy.) @ Samurai: Sure, why not? I understand how stir-crazyness can be. ;) Qap’la, fellow warrior! Watch the Borg while wearing gamma rabbit ears with honor! Gowron is not worthy even of the ears and T-shirt. TO induct him into The Order of the Green Dress would be an insult to all Klingondom. This must not stand! Not even in 5-inch peau de soie spikes! And thus began the Klingon Famous Footwear War, memorialized these days by only a few sad spots in strip malls… And then Worf, son of Mogh, proved himself the greatest Klingon ever known, single-handedly destroying an entire Species 8472 invasion fleet while clad in a pink tutu, fluffy purple targ ears, and ridiculous spike heels (he was in the costume due to a bet between him and Starfleet Admiral Jean-Luc Picard). Thus, Worf, son of Mogh, gin’tak of the house of Martok, earned the name of Worf the Unforgettable, true heir to Kahless the Unforgettable, and proved once and for all that a real man is perfectly confident in a dress and heels and ending the Klingon Famous Footwear War once and for all. The treacherous peta’qs of the Houses of Duras and Torg continued to be racist sexist homophobic dipshits, but were soon defeated by the power of Worf and his soldiers. I found the Borg queen disappointing. The writers fumbled a golden opportunity to have Data and Picard interact with the truly alien emissary of a hive intelligence, and instead they basically made her a conventional individual with the collective in her thrall. But they really screwed the pooch with Voyager when they tried to make her a matriarchal nemesis for Janeway. I agree, Gulliver. Cool as the Borg Queen is, she violates the whole point of the Borg, which is that NO individual is important. The trouble is, there’s no way to defeat such an enemy! So they had to make the Borg the personal army of this strange alien individual. Lazy writing. Scalzi for the WIN! Congratulations on your new rocketship, Mr. Scalzi! It’ll look mighty nice on your mantlepiece next to the Nebula. W00t! Floored, it takes a real man to wear a tutu (or a green dress). Worf went on to further liberate his people by explaining how much more quickly a soldier can react when he’s wearing a tutu rather than 75 pounds of leather. Free at last of their (literal) burden, the Klingons made it to the mountaintop, where they opened the Gamma Targ Ski Lodge. CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT HUGO! YES!!!!! Well deserved. Congratulations!!! Congrats! Well-deserved! So the laughably-named “Dudebro” and his micro-bros, who can’t contain the depths of their deeply closeted gay love for you, have already wasted precious bandwidth with their Fox News idea of “humor”, Scalzi? Nice ears, BTW – so how does the Interpretive Dance Version of Worldcon’s Sexual Harassment Policy go in its entirety, anyway? @ Mr. Scalzi: Congrats on the Hugo! Redshirts really deserves that award. @ Samurai: But then the evil RSHDs known as the Felk’ihri, the legendary demons of Klingon mythology, destroyed the Gamma Targ Ski Lodge in a hateful attack of intolerance. @ Gulliver, Xopher: To me, the point is not so much that the writers went all NIck Weinstein with the Borg, but that the Borg Queen herself is really well done. The concept of the Borg Queen is screwed up, but she herself is electrifying and mesmerizing. This needs to be used as an author photo for at least one of your books! Really! And then the Klingons manned up, put on their tutus and bunny ears, and gave the evil ones such a legendary ass-kicking that echoes of it reverberate to this day in the Internet term “butthurt,” often applied to the whining of a troll who’s been caught out. Then they hired a Farengi contractor to build a new, better-defended ski lodge, and, just to rub it in to the defeated, the new lodge sports a giant pair of bunny ears on the roof. And then the treacherous humans of Section Poisonous Internet Troll attacked the ski lodge with sneaky, underhanded attacks meant to turn the Klingons against each other. These efforts failed and backfired so dramatically that not even the Mighty Scalzi, Overlord of the Q Continuum, a god to the Q because of his unstoppable might, which made even the power of the Q seem insignificant, could possibly mock the Section Poisonous Internet Troll mooks more than they had already mocked themselves. [Deleted for aiming for funny and failing – JS] And the Ferengi did rub their hands with glee, and proceed to make a killing selling fluffy fake ears of many species and tutus and high heeled pumps and breakfast cereals and bat’leths. Because the mooks still don’t get it, and the Klingons don’t care, they will still shred your face. Rule of Acquisition #58: There is no substitute for success. And then the Mighty Scalzi, Overlord and rightful Supreme Commander of the universe, came back from His vacation to the unknowable WorldCon with the invincible artifact of pure awesomeness known as the Hu-go, and He saw the Klingon ski lodge and the rich Ferengi and the pwned Felk’Ihri and mooks, and He was happy, for the galaxy was at peace, and His principles had been upheld by blade and blood, and His books were selling better than ever, because one of His cultists had discovered that He was the creator of Gamma Rabbit, the symbol of tolerance and equality that had brought peace to the galaxy. And then the Mighty Scalzi proceeded to write more masterworks for His adoring followers, who forged mighty artifacts for Him: another Hu-go, a pair of Nebulae, and the mighty Hammer of Kharas*, created by His greatest followers specifically for Him. For His books continued their awesomeness, and His followers converted the unbelievers, who flocked to His shrines to hear His words and read His books. And then the Mighty Scalzi got filthy rich and bought a McMansion as an afterthought, for when one has 700 million adoring fans giving you an average of one dollar per week (each), one really can’t realistically give all of that money to charity, and the bits of surplus add up really fast. Thus endeth Book One of the Scalzi Saga. Hear His words! Serve His might! Win glory and honor for His Empire! ————————————————————– (no, I do not literally worship Mr. Scalzi. I am, however, obsessed with his books.) *Think a giant golden Mallet, suitable for troll-bashing, destroying planets, forging new planets, just looking awesome, etc. And they all lived happily ever after, except for the redshirts. Who were messily devoured by Longranian Ice Sharks, Borgovian Land Worms cribbed from Dune, giant space badgers (the Great Badger of Tau Ceti, to be precise), and Thalangarian tendriculoses, along with various sentient rocks, giant insects, and random cannibals. I like how the grey and lavender of the ears match the shirt. Well-done, you! Did you shave off the beard with the edge of the Hugo? Never noticed before, but you are a Doppelgänger for the grown up kid from Brady Bunch, Christopher Knight. And now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you both in the same room together. Btw, John, as the person who took the photo above, let me know if you want to use any of the shots in the future. Happy to have taken the pics, happy to have them used, etc. Thanks for remembering to spell my name right. My partners got a huge kick out of seeing this on your blog. :) Thanks, Crystal! Comments are closed.