I am now being flung into sky in the westerly direction. I hope not to overshoot and land in the Pacific.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
For those asking, yes, there is a gremlin on the wing. He's a trainee! He's kind of nervous so we're all trying to be encouraging.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
The gremlin's supervisor is here. That's gotta make him nervous.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
Uh-oh. Trainee gremlin apparently tearing up the wing all wrong. Supervisor shaking its head, writing something on a clipboard.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
Now the gremlin has gone to a window to scare a passenger. The passenger in question: a small baby. I think that's cheating.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
Small child is delighted and says "puppy" over and over. The trainee gremlin bursts into tears. This is a hard gig, man.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
The supervisor gremlin is making the trainee gremlin stand in the corner of the wing. Oh, my. This isn't going well at all.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
Supervisor gremlin on the phone now. Appears to be calling in an experienced backup gremlin. I'm feeling bad for the trainee gremlin now.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
I mean, yes. The trainee gremlin is trying to destroy our plane and send us all screaming to our deaths. But a gig is a gig is a gig.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
You try getting a job as a gremlin on this economy. It's either destroying planes or being garden statuary for ironic suburbanites.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
So, yes, I have sympathy for this trainee gremlin – wait. Trainee gremlin has just pushed supervisor gremlin off the wing. Bold strategy!
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
Huh. Apparently, supervisor gremlin had wings. Hovering over trainee, glaring. Trainee gremlin looks frustrated by this plot twist.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
But as it turns out, attempting to murder your supervisor is an accepted work strategy amongst gremlins! Trainee gremlin passes the exam!
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
The whole plane is cheering! Trainee gremlin takes an awkward bow, and then tries to dislodge an engine. Adorable!
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
And as we plummet out of the sky, we can die happy, assured the American gremlin industry is still tops in the world. USA! USA! U(thud)
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 10, 2014
(For those who missed the first in this series, posted almost a year ago (i.e., almost certainly on another long plane trip to Los Angeles), it’s here.)
