I Strongly Believe That If My Cat Had an Author Photo It Would Look Like This

Yup, I’d buy a book from that cat.

I leave the title of said book for you to muse over in the comments.

104 Comments on “I Strongly Believe That If My Cat Had an Author Photo It Would Look Like This”

  1. Serial Killing for Fun! (How to predate small mammals, birds, large insects and anything else that makes interesting horkup on carpets.)

    It would be a bestseller among cats, I think.

    Alternatively, he could go for the high road with Is There an Aslan on Your Sofa?

  2. While he may accept room and board, I’m not convinced that Lopsided Cat has necessarily adopted the family name.

  3. So if ol’ Lopsided was able to pose for a photo, his limping problem of a few days ago wasn’t serious?

  4. There is something about that cat expression that is not quite cat-like. -Ron-

    Sent from my mobile.


  5. I previously remarked that in MY day, the three standard Author Photos were:
    (1) Standing in front of shelves of books and trophies;
    (2) Holding a well-worn pipe, Sherlockian or otherwise, in hand or with stem between teeth;
    (3) In the garden.

    If so, where are the cat’s trophies?

  6. Do Tabbys Dream of Electric Mice. A re imagination of a classic. Hey, if you can do it so can LC Scalzi.

  7. It took a minute or so for any text to load, so after the post from the other day about LC being missing and having recently lost my own beloved kitty, my first thought on seeing the photo was “oh, this cannot be good.”

  8. Oh, and great titles! Every one I thought of had already been taken :). Tho how about: ‘A Midsummer Night’s Cat’?

  9. “A Practical Guide To World Domination Without Opposable Thumbs – Humans And How To Manipulate Them”

  10. John’s author portrait where his head is slightly turned looks disturbingly like a 1980s Lawrence Taylor cover photo. The only difference was that LT had a diamond studded earring with LT hanging off a chain. Makes me wonder… if one of his books gets pushed beyond the option part and gets turned into an actual series whether John will pimp it and get an earring with a JS hanging down. I’m at work, so I can’t google the photo, but they are damn similiar.

  11. Stevie:

    Between the “Who do you think you are dealing with here?” expression and the monitor in the background, my first thought was of new cover art for “The Pride of Chanur.”

  12. Indeed not, JS. I forgot where I was for a moment. Sorry.

    (In that other place we tag spam with comments following it. But even there I would just comment “deletable spam tag” and leave it at that.)

  13. Yup, I’d buy a book from that cat.

    You’d buy a book from that cat or else.

    And it would be:

    “Cat-cher in the Rye.”

    (He looks like a Beat Cat.)

  14. Dear John,

    Hmmm, 9 comments on your book tour video and 76 comments (already!) on your author-cat’s jacket photo.

    I think I know who Tor should be sending out on the next book tour…

    Helpfully yours,


  15. Miao Te Ching, by Lao Psided.

    Quote: “The Miao that can be told is not the eternal Miao.”

  16. The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Lopsided Cat, &c. Who was Born at the Animal Shelter, and during a Life of continu’d Variety for Onescore Years, besides his Childhood, was Six Year a Pet, five times a Wildcat (whereof once of his own pride), Six Year a Farmcat, Eight Year a Transported Feline in Ohio, at last grew Fat, liv’d Honest, and died a Penitent. Written from his own Meowmorandums….by LC DeCat

  17. As I gaze upon L. Cat, I’m beginning to see a family resemblance? That is more than a little disturbing. Today is my Friday and I will go home, not get online, and have a beer. It’s been a rough week.

  18. The Silence of the Mice
    The Lap Catcher’s Guide to the Galaxy
    Cat Story
    I Have Always Lived in the Castle
    The Hunting of Scalzi House
    Life Among the Savages
    Basement Cat, The Real Story

  19. Lick In

    My first nap on the job coincided with the first day of the Haden Walkout, so I totes missed it! A feed of me snoozing in the FBI building got a fair amount of play on the Haden news sites and forums. This was not a thing I needed on my first day. Still, like I said, missed it!

  20. Obviously the Lopsided one’s author name is Natsume Soseki, and the book is internationally famous “I am a Cat”.
    Now read in a Japanese literature class near you!

  21. Exploitative Coevolution; The Dominance of Felis Catus over Homo Sapiens. Hmmm…I may have to enter this in the Bad Ad Hoc Hypothesis Festival. I think I could prove it. Really.

  22. Sleeping Your Life Away and Loving it

    How to catch the Red Dot and Other Secrets Revealed

    Confessions of a Paper Bag Addict

  23. LC Scalzi, famed writer of hardboiled noir:

    The High Window Seat

    The Name of the Game is Naps

    Catino Royale

    The Tabby-Striped Hearse

    The Cat Who Followed Scalzi

  24. Something Whiskered This Way Comes
    Kittyhood’s End
    World War C

    Meh, that’s all I got. I’m not good with puns.

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