Posted on November 21, 2014 Posted by John Scalzi 28 Comments
I noted earlier in the week I was going to put in a self-promotion thread today, but then I realized that very quickly I’m coming up on the thing where I do a whole week of self-promotion threads for the holidays, so I’m gonna in fact hold off until the first week of December. Sorry about that.
In its stead, please find below Tweets I Made Last Night When I Was Not High. Seriously I wasn’t high. Imagine if I were.
And, uh, yeah. Have a good weekend, everybody!
You do have a carbon monoxide detector in the house, right?
Or did you just have some really bad mushrooms?
or has John become Scalzified?
Fans in Colorado aren’t sending you holiday “treats” are they?
Nah, he’s just entangled in a Scalzi-field…
Sshhh! Big Pharma, Marijuana & LSD Division, wants us to believe that we need their drugs to get us to think and behave that way. It’s not true. Not at all. An innate appreciation of playfulness does make it easier, though.
I won’t worry until you start paying Find Your Foot.
Playing, I meant. Sheesh…
You been hiiting the catnip again?
But…but….”Let’s do the time warp again” IS a recursive statement!!!!
I see. I also want to see the results of the drug test!
So where are the tweets that you made when you were high?
I dunno. Sometimes it can be fun to see where your brain takes you when you wander down side thoughts. And then there’s the ones which sorta sneak up and clout you about the ears.
Looking at your own hands is fun – there’s always something different to see. Some new wrinkle, a new quirk in the way your fingernails grow, and so on.
I love to be that guy who says it’s “Michel Foucault.” Seriously, why should I hate to be the guy who says that? It’s your job to hate me, not mine.
re: Time Warp
Unfortunately, my phone cam pics of you at George & Parris’ reception didn’t come out well.
I’m going to love to be the woman who says, “It should be “I love to be that guy who says, “It’s “Michel Foucault.”””
Ha ha ha.. drug jokes.
Make a joke like this in the wrong place, you get DEA and cops kicking in your door, and a lifetime of degraded opportunity. Yet another white privilege thrown around casually…
“I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move.”
—Spike, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Just seemed appropriate.
Are we there yet?
If 3, “no”.
If 4-16, “we get there when we get there”.
If 17, entire species loses a turn.
18, entire species reverts to ameba, level 1, and loses all inventory. Loses turns for 1d6 hundred million years.
Ah, Greg, what a pity we never played GURPS together.
Online, dh, and not tied into your real name? Paranoid much? I don’t make drug jokes with my real name because of my profession, and I’m white. You lack perspective.
The Foucault Pokemon card is kind of amazing. Who knew that such a thing could and would exist?
PS: It’s Michel. :D
Martin Lawrence and Katt Williams have done entire sets that were drug jokes interspersed with sex jokes, but I’m sure they appreciate you looking out for them, dh.
Ice Cube did an entire indie movie that drew inspiration from Cheech and Chong.
Dave Chappelle (Is Dangerous) built an entire career on weed jokes. And joking about racism, but he started with weed jokes.
You must be rather young, dh.
White male people can joke about drugs, because white male people don’t have their lives ruined by drugs, on the same scale, as minorities and women.
Let’s say the worst thing happens and in a parallel universe, a family just like JS’s are active drug users, one makes a joke about, and they get busted. If that family is black, chances are the kid goes to DHS. The family is split up, they lose any housing assistance, and are forever labelled as drug offenders. The kid can never get federal college aid, and can’t get into almost any legitimate college. It results in a lifetime of degraded opportunities.
In the white world, a lawyer is brought in, the charges are reduced or dropped, and the world goes on it’s way. Or if there is a conviction, college is paid for differently.
The wealthy comedians don’t need me to look out for them – they don’t need anybody. They have power and they have influence and they have a shield. Who needs a shield are the hundreds of thousands of blacks and other minorities that have to live in oppressive societies with dangerous double standards of drug abuse. White wealthy suburban and rural men can joke about drug use and it’s “har har har”.
For the rest of us, tha’ts called “probably cause”, and we can be frisked, smashed into the sidewalk, cuffed, drug tested, invasively searched. Then we get labelled “thugs”.
I don’t need your ageist crap, I need your white puritan oppressive government to end the drug double standard. And for closest racists to stop thinking I’m naive for pointing out the power differential inherent in this type double-standard. JS can joke about drugs knowing he will never face any repercussions, even if really is a casual drug user. That is casual privilege.
It’s posts like yours above that make me aware how little you (or indeed, most people) know about my earlier life, and I’m going to leave it at that. Except to say that this line of discussion is now far afield, so let’s go ahead and snip it off here, please.
Looking at my hands is my preferred reality check (for lucid dreaming). Dream hands are distinctly different from waking hands. It’s also good practice for drawing hands.
We can dance. We can dance. Everybody look at your hands.
“Just realized “Let’s do the time warp again” is kind of a recursive statement.”
No, no it isn’t. Sorry to be contrarian but I think you’re confusing “Time Warp” with “Traveling back in time”.
“Why do they call them ‘fingers’? They don’t ‘fing’.” (bends fingers) “Oh, wait…”