Quick Note to Folks, Re: Sending Me Your Material

So, in the last week I’ve had quite a few people congratulating me on my book deal (thanks!) and then attaching samples of writing work or art work or resumes for various editorial skills, etc, in the hope I might have some use for them, or just because.

I appreciate the thought. However:

1. Note I typically don’t open unsolicited attached files because of the potential for viruses and other electronic misadventure;

2. All my ancillary publishing tasks are handled by my publishers, so the answer as to whether I might have use of your talents is “no.” My publishers might, but you’d have to check with them and go through their particular submission process for various tasks they might have.

3. I don’t forward materials to my publishers because each of them has their own intake process of applications/submissions and I would rather encourage people to use the processes established by the publishers than to try to shortcut the process by going through me. The processes are there for a reason;

4. Should I decide to do self-pub in the future (and who knows! I might!) and need to hire artists, copyeditors and so forth, I will do solicitations at that time. Sending materials to me before then simply means the emails will be archived and likely not read again.

Once again, I do appreciate the thought and materials sent. But if you are job-seeking, I’m really not the right person to send the materials to. Thanks.

29 Comments on “Quick Note to Folks, Re: Sending Me Your Material”

  1. Dan – Dan Hartensveld, CDIA is President of The EDI Project, a solution provider specializing in healthcare informatics. He has been working with large health insurers, providers and healthcare technology companies since 1996 involving complex data integration, claims automation, risk adjustment, The Affordable Care Act, HIE, HIX, to name a few. Lately, the company has been successful in developing and putting into production massively scaleable, analytics projects for use in processing "Big Data" sets.
    Dan

    Peace and Love, Peace and Love!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAU0l7325w0

    Thought of this when I read your post. You did a better job than Ringo though.

  2. D. Paul Angel – I am in my 40’s (the new "20" they say!), am originally from California, and now live in Portland, OR, but would eventually like to "retire" to Hawaii. I am, most definitely, a “Nerd’s Nerd.” I can recite huge tracts of Monty Python, can force Star Wars quotes into nearly any conversation, find serenity amongst fireflies, enjoy hitchhiking to the beach with my towel in hand (remember the Hawaii bit), have found precious little to dislike about Tolkien, and find any argument favoring Picard over Kirk to be both fascinating and most illogical. My foundation in Science Fiction began with Asimov, but Heinlein’s wit brought it to the front of my conscious. Although I am still recovering from the amount of time spent wheeling through Jordan and Sanderson’s epic, I have found long series, such as Scalzi’s, no longer make me feel like an old man (The new 20, right!?). I've always had a love of comics, particularly the far side of Bloom County where Calvin lived, often casting pearls before swine whilst doing the foxtrot over the hedge. Even though I already have 2 puppy-dogs I love, Zack and Satia, I can’t help but think how awesome having a magical creature would be; even if I do worry that caring for it would leave me feeling hagrid. I am more comfortable tweeting than facebooking, and I'm not athletic enough to be a tumblr. I'm also an airplane nerd and a licensed, albeit non-current, pilot. I've travelled enough to know I want to travel more, I've read, cover to cover, The Bible, Koran, Book of Mormon, Science and Health, and a smattering of Eastern philosophies, and I was one of the early board members of Cerimon House. I can bake bread from scratch, grill, and cook; and I've failed, miserably, in learning at least 4 different programming languages. I write, commit photography, and am learning the ins and out of drawing and illustration. I have long straddled that shady realm between the wholly physical and utterly imaginative, and I'm working towards taking up residence in the latter. I'm an expert in all forms of philosophocating, but find it is best done with open eyes, compassion, and humor; preferably with pleasant company, snacks, and an ample supply of delicious beverages. I have also been known to make the occasional pun.
    D. Paul Angel

    You are again kind and generous towards these individuals by understating the timing of their correspondence. Its seems rather obvious that if you had not been in the news for your contract that they would not now be hitting, “send.” The only real characterization of it is slimy, but you are a good enough person to give the benefit of doubt.

  3. It’s not because of the deal, it’s because in order to get published, we all have to be approved by a member of the Official SJW Cabal (TM). As you are the most visible member, of course you are receiving the bulk of submissions.

  4. General rule when someone you dont know knocks on your door and says ‘I am not here to sell you anything’ they are here to sell you something. John is being alot more polite than I would be. Stuff like this is just annoying.

    john just opened the door to trolls. post fake scalzi hiring ads on the web., then he will get 1000s of emails.

  5. At first I thought it was going to be timid young writers hoping for encouragement; then I read the whole post and that’s that not all you’re getting. Yikes! It’s tough out there for a role model.

    So, just ignore that package I sent you with the 1,200-page 8 pt-font, epic-fantasy-saga complete with talking animals, magical metals, possessed swords, long descriptions of food and brilliant, insightful social commentary.

  6. This clearly does not apply to me. My unedited writing sample is *different* and clearly superior to the others, so I have sent it anyway.

    The trucks will be arriving on Monday. You should read each truck in the order in which it was packed, but you can read the individual truck loads in any order.

  7. arwynundomiel – Washington State, U.S.A. – I write reviews on a wide range of TV shows and movies and am happy to help you find the perfect thing to watch.
    arwynundomiel

    Wow, some people are either incredibly thoughtless or intensely self-absorbed (possibly both). How tacky to congratulate you on being published and in practically the same sentence hit you up for assistance and favors with their own stuff. It says a lot about you that you’re as polite as you are to such persons.

  8. But but, you don’t understand, if you just follow this One Weird Trick, you too can enjoy a 8 figure income!

  9. That covers all the publishing needs, but what of my inquiry regarding your needs for a personal churro chef?

  10. D. Paul Angel – I am in my 40’s (the new "20" they say!), am originally from California, and now live in Portland, OR, but would eventually like to "retire" to Hawaii. I am, most definitely, a “Nerd’s Nerd.” I can recite huge tracts of Monty Python, can force Star Wars quotes into nearly any conversation, find serenity amongst fireflies, enjoy hitchhiking to the beach with my towel in hand (remember the Hawaii bit), have found precious little to dislike about Tolkien, and find any argument favoring Picard over Kirk to be both fascinating and most illogical. My foundation in Science Fiction began with Asimov, but Heinlein’s wit brought it to the front of my conscious. Although I am still recovering from the amount of time spent wheeling through Jordan and Sanderson’s epic, I have found long series, such as Scalzi’s, no longer make me feel like an old man (The new 20, right!?). I've always had a love of comics, particularly the far side of Bloom County where Calvin lived, often casting pearls before swine whilst doing the foxtrot over the hedge. Even though I already have 2 puppy-dogs I love, Zack and Satia, I can’t help but think how awesome having a magical creature would be; even if I do worry that caring for it would leave me feeling hagrid. I am more comfortable tweeting than facebooking, and I'm not athletic enough to be a tumblr. I'm also an airplane nerd and a licensed, albeit non-current, pilot. I've travelled enough to know I want to travel more, I've read, cover to cover, The Bible, Koran, Book of Mormon, Science and Health, and a smattering of Eastern philosophies, and I was one of the early board members of Cerimon House. I can bake bread from scratch, grill, and cook; and I've failed, miserably, in learning at least 4 different programming languages. I write, commit photography, and am learning the ins and out of drawing and illustration. I have long straddled that shady realm between the wholly physical and utterly imaginative, and I'm working towards taking up residence in the latter. I'm an expert in all forms of philosophocating, but find it is best done with open eyes, compassion, and humor; preferably with pleasant company, snacks, and an ample supply of delicious beverages. I have also been known to make the occasional pun.
    D. Paul Angel

    @Marion

    That’s my novel idea too!

  11. I would like to apply for the position of “sit in the hot tub and drink gin & tonics”.

    References and salary requirements available upon request.

  12. I suppose my sending you a copy of my novel would be included in this, in which case, sorry about that. Do you have any advice concerning sending people stories unsolicited?

  13. Never send unsolicited anything to anyone.

    Period.

    It’s a really simple rule that works under all situations.

    It includes spam, door-to-door salesmen/Jesus salesmen, authors, movie directors, publishers, large companies, and random human beings on the internet or in real life.

    No off-brand Viagra, no aluminum siding, no pamphlets about your church, no “I have this great idea and demand you read it”, no “Hire me!”, no dick pics, no hassling at a con or a bar.

    In many cases, the person you’re bothering either has no need for it (like John), no time for it (everyone), legal reasons to avoid even looking at it (movie and TV producers), or will think you’re a clueless asshole (every item I have listed above).

    Never send unsolicited anything to anyone.

  14. megpie71 – Australian, female, fat, born in 1971. Been hanging around the internet (first Usenet, now blogs) since about 1997. Far too cynical for my own good.
    megpie71

    My first thought on reading this was “is reading for comprehension not taught in schools any more?”. My second was “are people really that ignorant of what it is publishers do?” Then I realised a lot of the people who are doing these things are judging all publishers by the sort of things that “publishers” like Amazon or small-run POD groups like Lulu are offering writers (“here, we’ll be your distribution platform, but everything else is Your Problem”), and making all kinds of category errors as a result.

  15. From a “How NOT to get published!” Panel at a con. The editors ran through the far-too-familiar poor submission formats & got into more bizarre ones. (Handwritten in orange crayon). Then they went over cover letters. Putting a cardboard cutout of a hand giving the middle finger with the comment “this is for you if you reject my story!” probably not a good idea.

  16. Considering the rest of the comments I can’t tell if the post above offering loans is spam or sarcasm. Bravo internet troll spammer!

  17. “The processes are there for a reason;”

    –>Speaking on behalf of all publishing employees who have cause to hire freelancers: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

    (Now if you could also explain that to some of our authors…)

  18. Dear John,

    The Beatles’ “Paperback Writer” has always been one of my favorite songs, since my college days. And, the more writerly I become, the funnier it gets.

    Maybe it’s a good time to remind people that you have published policies on all this?

    http://whatever.scalzi.com/about/publicity-blurb-and-unpublished-work-guidelines/

    Not that most of the folks spamming you will ever bother to look, but mebbe a few…

    In the spirit of all of this, I hereby promise to never offer to correct your male pattern baldness nor enhance your penis. You are lovely just the way you are.

    pax / Ctein

  19. I’m really looking forward to “Ancillary Publishing”, about a ship-AI-turned-human who retires and writes her memoirs.

  20. At lesst they are doing it electronically (?)

    I was going to send you my handwritten 726-page-long (written in red ink on both sides of the looseleaf notebook pages) magnus-opus-LOTR-replacement-for-a-new-generation, but I reconsidered after:

    (a) calculating the required postage
    (b) realizing some dude named Gurg Martinling (or something) has stolen my idea! Yes! Yes! Stolen My Idea! Not only that, he Sold My Idea to some TV-production-company, and he is now rolling in even more dough than Scalzi, if this is possible.

    Forget SJW’s! It’s Gurgle Martinling that’s holding me back and keeping the secret handshake entry-password to Publishing Glory, Fame, and Wealth out of my poor wee downtrodden handses.

  21. Of course, I am not sending you and material. I want a signed contract in my hand before I give up any my valuable thoughts. The fact that I can use spell check and write three sentences in a row should convince you my skills and value.

    The fact that I couldn’t notice the difference between any and and should convince of my snark.

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