Neil and the Bear: Perhaps Not a Children’s Book After All
Posted on July 2, 2015 Posted by John Scalzi 34 Comments
Once upon a time, an author looked out the window of his writing shack.
Yes, this is what we do when we’re supposed to be writing.
Posted on July 2, 2015 Posted by John Scalzi 34 Comments
Once upon a time, an author looked out the window of his writing shack.
The things you see when you look out of the window of your writing cabin. 3 in a series (previously: deer, chipmunks) pic.twitter.com/lmVfRlZJDh
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) July 2, 2015
@neilhimself Neil, I've had a lot happen this year. You're not allowed to top it off by being eaten by a bear.
— Hayley Campbell (@hayleycampbell) July 2, 2015
@hayleycampbell yes, dear.
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) July 2, 2015
@neilhimself UNLIKE SOME, I totally respect your right to be eaten by a bear if such is your desire. @hayleycampbell
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) July 2, 2015
@scalzi @neilhimself stop kissing ass, scalzi
— Hayley Campbell (@hayleycampbell) July 2, 2015
@hayleycampbell Neil is a GROWN MAN, Campbell. He can be devoured by ANY WILD ANIMAL HE WANTS. That's what an adult is about! @neilhimself
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) July 2, 2015
@scalzi he has a point, @hayleycampbell. But I won't.
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) July 2, 2015
@neilhimself @scalzi According to my @replies everyone wants you to be eaten by a bear. Your fans, pal. Your fans.
— Hayley Campbell (@hayleycampbell) July 2, 2015
I think we need to hear from the bear about this. @hayleycampbell @neilhimself pic.twitter.com/RBURxnAFvc
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) July 2, 2015
@scalzi @neilhimself well this escalated
— Hayley Campbell (@hayleycampbell) July 2, 2015
Yes, this is what we do when we’re supposed to be writing.
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Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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Well, technically you *were* writing. Just not paychecky stuff.
Now we need a song from Paul and Storm begging that Neil Gaiman not be eaten by a bear but admitting in one verse that he isn’t our bitch.
I thought the chipmunks (second in the series) would get him.
That bear just wanted to get his copy of The Ocean at the End of the Lane signed.
FX just optioned The Bear Who Ate Neil as a limited series.
I’ve always thought of Neil as the type to be devoured by a mountain lion… just saying.
Some idiot on the internet will think this means you’re in favor of bestiality
I’m not responsible for what stupid people who are not me do with their brains.
Now, if it were not a bear but a dragon on dark shadow night, that would be different. But no, I don’t want Neil eaten by a bear either. In fact, let me courageously come out against bears eating people in general. There. I’ve said it.
“I’m not responsible for what stupid people who are not me do with their brains”
new tshirt slogan?
The Bear Who Didn’t Eat Neil. Picture book market, here we come!
(And, no, I didn’t see the title of the post until after.)
@Mhteas said, “In fact, let me courageously come out against bears eating people in general.”
The US Supreme Court ruled in favor of bears being able to eat people (and other bears, and vice versa) in 2002, Lawrence v. Texas.
Oh, you mean *bears*, not “bears”.
Okay, never mind.
John, the shadowy thing behind your comment made me think my laptop screen was dirty and I tried to clean it and it didn’t work and I thought wow that really looks like a person’s face how weird and then I realized it WAS a person’s face and it was all very confusing and took about two minutes out of my day.
Just sayin’. I would have liked to have some time looking out the window or something, too.
Hope Neil enjoys the rest of his stay at Camp Granada.
The best defense against bears is a good guy with a bear.
And, it’s a good thing I’m not in Oregon or I would REALLY be able to admi… I mean, I would’ve REALLY been confused.
I mean, I don’t know why it’s a good thing, um, ……..shoot. Can I edit my post, please?????
;)
Hello Tori, Hello Haley,
In my cabin, writing daily,
nosy neighbors, won’t disturb me,
deer and chipmunks steal my ARCs but won’t perturb me.
You remember that John Scalzi?
Don’t know when he got so ballsy.
Sent an actor in a fur suit
Don’t know where he found some one so very hirsute
Take me home, my dear Amanda
Take me home, its not a panda
Don’t leave me in this place
where I might be eaten by a bear
Number One Threat to
AmericaNeil Gaiman: Bears!At least there were tweets from Neil shortly after the picture unlike the time Kevin Hearne tweeted a picture of a bear from his car and then didn’t tweet anything else for a couple of days.
Thanks to @brucearthurs for the memory and to @johnstick for the update. Made me laugh out loud at work.
Bravo, johnstick!
Greg came close, but I am mildly shocked that nobody has made a “right to bear arms” joke about this yet. Oh, wait, is Neil’s writing cabin NOT in the USofA? Because the US is where we have deer, chipmunks and bears. The UK has badgers, hedgehogs and foxes… I’d be less surprised if he’d spotted a Dalek outside his cabin.
Really? That’s what I do when I’m supposed to be EDITING.
…so, at least there is symmetry.
Now I’ll be singing that darn song in my head for the rest of the night. Thank you johnstick, you gave me a big laugh.
Adding my applause to the johnstick approvals. Well done!
There’s a checkbox on the twitter embed to turn off the replied-to tweet so we don’t have to read everything twice – change
< blockquote
to< blockquote data-conversation="none"
Bravo to @johnstick!
My first two thoughts:
(1) Man, I want a writing cabin.
(2) Wait, how can anyone get any writing done in a cabin that has Internet access?
I saw that. Scalzi killed a bear. Did he throw a trident?
I think if Neil is going to be devoured by any kind of wild animal it should be Wolves.
If by domesticated animals, then cats.
But n the whole I think I come down on the side of him*not* being devoured unless he really, really, wants to be.
The question is which is to be master–that;s all. Who decides? Neil, or the critters?
This gave me a much-needed laugh. Thanks!