Neil and the Bear: Perhaps Not a Children’s Book After All

Once upon a time, an author looked out the window of his writing shack.

Yes, this is what we do when we’re supposed to be writing.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

34 replies on “Neil and the Bear: Perhaps Not a Children’s Book After All”

Now we need a song from Paul and Storm begging that Neil Gaiman not be eaten by a bear but admitting in one verse that he isn’t our bitch.

Now, if it were not a bear but a dragon on dark shadow night, that would be different. But no, I don’t want Neil eaten by a bear either. In fact, let me courageously come out against bears eating people in general. There. I’ve said it.

@Mhteas said, “In fact, let me courageously come out against bears eating people in general.”

The US Supreme Court ruled in favor of bears being able to eat people (and other bears, and vice versa) in 2002, Lawrence v. Texas.

Oh, you mean *bears*, not “bears”.

Okay, never mind.

John, the shadowy thing behind your comment made me think my laptop screen was dirty and I tried to clean it and it didn’t work and I thought wow that really looks like a person’s face how weird and then I realized it WAS a person’s face and it was all very confusing and took about two minutes out of my day.
Just sayin’. I would have liked to have some time looking out the window or something, too.

Hello Tori, Hello Haley,
In my cabin, writing daily,
nosy neighbors, won’t disturb me,
deer and chipmunks steal my ARCs but won’t perturb me.

You remember that John Scalzi?
Don’t know when he got so ballsy.
Sent an actor in a fur suit
Don’t know where he found some one so very hirsute

Take me home, my dear Amanda
Take me home, its not a panda
Don’t leave me in this place
where I might be eaten by a bear

Greg came close, but I am mildly shocked that nobody has made a “right to bear arms” joke about this yet. Oh, wait, is Neil’s writing cabin NOT in the USofA? Because the US is where we have deer, chipmunks and bears. The UK has badgers, hedgehogs and foxes… I’d be less surprised if he’d spotted a Dalek outside his cabin.

My first two thoughts:

(1) Man, I want a writing cabin.
(2) Wait, how can anyone get any writing done in a cabin that has Internet access?

I think if Neil is going to be devoured by any kind of wild animal it should be Wolves.
If by domesticated animals, then cats.

But n the whole I think I come down on the side of him*not* being devoured unless he really, really, wants to be.

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